Mass Effect: First Date
by MindSurfing
Summary: This story is an immediate sequel to Mass Effect: The Heart Wants. I highly recommend you read that story first. Commander Shepard and Tali'Zorah have realized they have feelings for each other. They decide to explore these feelings by spending time together. Shepard plans the perfect first date, which goes as well as Shepard's plans typically go.
1. Chapter 1 - The Plunge

After quite a long break I have decided return to writing in the Mass Effect universe. I had hoped to find things I wanted to write about following the release of Andromeda, but I will simply say that I found Andromeda…uninspiring. So, I finally return to what I find does inspire me. The Mass Effect of Commander Shepard, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, and the myriad of Milky Way aliens, worlds, and possibilities that drew me in the first place. With so many stories still to be told, why would I want to go to a whole new galaxy?

This story is an immediate sequel to Mass Effect: The Heart Wants. I appreciated the interest expressed in continuing that story and want to return to it myself. I would strongly recommend reading that story prior to reading this one. I will also take this opportunity to recommend the first story I ever wrote, Mass Effect: Suspicions. I'm biased, but recently rereading it made me wish I had written the ending to ME3. Sadly, I wasn't asked. It also reminded me that no matter how hard or how many times I look, I always seem to miss some typos. I hope anyone who chooses to read these stories enjoys this one. I welcome feedback and appreciate that people spend their time with these stories. Obviously, I do not own these characters and thank the programmers at Bioware for creating them.

Chapter 1

The Plunge

Commander John Shepard instinctively took a defensive stance, back to the wall, heart pounding. He had paused in his approach to the automated door, not wanting it to open before he was ready, if he could truly be ready. One more step and that door would open. He would be committed to his course. No going back. The plunge. Taking deep breaths to slow his heart, he contemplated the terrors that lay beyond that door.

Well, potential terrors. Imagined terrors. Shepard recognized he was stalling. He wanted desperately to take that step, but even as his heart urged him forward his brain kept tripping him up, conjuring the most unlikely worst-case scenarios of pain and humiliation. Just days ago he had felt that pain, that humiliation. He had come to the aid of Liara T'Soni, the woman he loved. Past tense. When she had contacted him seeking his help he had hoped to rekindle the passion that had once existed between them. He had taken a leap of faith and believed that Liara would not let him fall. To his surprise it was not Liara who was there to catch him. It was Tali. Tali, who had supported him as he had tried his best to reconnect with Liara, who had asked nothing and given everything, even to the point of literally taking a bullet for him, nearly dying in the process. Tali, who had again saved him from the Shadow Broker's assassin as he lay paralyzed on a hospital floor.

It was Tali's presence, Tali's support that had blunted his pain as he struggled to understand and accept that the love he had believed existed between him and Liara had faded, assuming it had ever really been love in the first place. He had long thought of Tali as a good friend, but as she lay fighting for her life he realized there was more to his feelings, that her loss would be more than the loss of a friend. It would be the loss of…he wasn't sure yet, but certainly more than a friend.

His Yeoman, Kelly Chambers, had advised him to think about who was there for him and whom he was there for. Even as he fumbled with his confused feelings, Tali was there for him. As others abandoned him, as Ashley Williams had done on Horizon, Tali had been there. As they were in the midst of struggling to find and defeat the Shadow Broker's agent, she had made it clear to him that she felt something more than friendship as well. That they could work out what they were feeling for each other, together. That was the word she had used. "Together". So why did he hesitate now? It had been only minutes since Tali had made it clear she wanted to have that conversation. He had charged to engineering filled with the anticipation of that conversation. Anticipation that had transformed to anxiety with each step.

Shepard realized he was still stalling and being a fool in doing so. They could not very well work out what they were feeling, together, with him cowering in the hallway. He took a deep breath, purposely shifting his thoughts away from the worst-case scenarios. Action had always been his antidote for too much thinking. Quivering with nervous energy, he pushed away from the wall. He turned, nearly charging the automatic door leading to engineering, daring the hypersensitive mechanism to not open quickly enough, to try to stand in his way now that he had determined his course of action. The door slid open with a hiss, making way for Shepard. His momentum carried him directly into the very woman whose words he had recently recalled.

Shepard barely registered the impact as he nearly trampled Kelly Chambers, knocking her to the metal grating of the deck. He heard the air knocked from her as she landed on her back with a grunt. She lay there at his feet, stunned.

Shepard stopped and extended a hand to help her back to her feet. She took a moment to recognize the gesture before taking his hand. "My apologies, Yeoman. Are you all right? I was…in a rush." Shepard easily pulled Chambers back to her feet. He waited to be sure she was indeed all right. He glanced past her to the end of the short hall way as she stood hunched over, her hands on her knees, regaining her breath. After a few more moments she stood upright rubbing the spot on her lower back where she had landed.

"I'm okay, Commander. You just caught me by surprise. That felt a bit like running into a tree." Chambers paused and looked Shepard up and down. "You seem a bit…distracted, Commander. Are _you_ all right?"

Shepard found it somewhat embarrassing that she was asking after his welfare after he had just flattened her. He looked again toward the end of the short hallway and sighed. "Distracted is the right word, Chambers. Distracted enough to forget that there are two doors between here and engineering."

Kelly Chambers squinted slightly as she examined Shepard more carefully. "Distracted, but also driven, Commander. You came through that door with a purpose and nothing was going to stand in your way. Not even a hapless Yeoman." Chambers smiled as she said this to make it clear this was friendly teasing and not a rebuke. "Might your distraction _and_ your focus have something to do with Tali?"

"I'm on my way to talk with her. I think you were right about there being something between us and I want to find out what it is. I think…I hope, she does too."

Chambers smiled. "I ran into Tali on the elevator as she was coming from your quarters and tagged along with her to chat. She's a good person, Shepard. And I stand by my statement. There is something there between you. It's up to you to figure out what that is and if it's worth pursuing. This really isn't the right place for us to have this discussion," Chambers glanced significantly at the staircase next to them that led to where Jack was holed up, "but I would be happy to meet with you later to discuss how you are doing, if you would like."

"That would be appreciated, Chambers. You were very supportive as I worked through the situation with Liara. I'm not sure where things will be at after I talk with Tali, but it's good to know I can process with you."

"I'll be there for you when you are ready, Shepard. Only one more door between you and her. Go find out what you're both feeling and I'll talk with you later."

"Care to give me any insight, Chambers? You were just talking with her."

"I believe it is best you and she figure that out for yourselves, Commander."

Shepard sighed, robbed of his easy answers. "Right. I'll see you later." Shepard nodded determinedly and turned toward the inner door to engineering. He paused and audibly took two deep breaths, focusing like a man about to jump across a wide chasm…or into one. Then he charged forward again, vanishing as the automated door closed behind him.

Kelly Chambers' smile changed as Shepard disappeared. Her teeth showed as her lips thinned, shifting from an encouraging smile to one that could only be described as predatory. "Oh, yes, Shepard. I'll be there for you when you're ready", she whispered to herself as she turned and walked through the outer door, returning to the elevator.

Shepard stopped short as the door into engineering hissed shut behind him. Tali stood at her usual engineering station. He was behind her and found himself admiring for a moment the way her environmental suit hugged her body, before mentally shaking that train of thought. He had come to discuss their feelings for each other. Covertly ogling her felt inappropriate. Unworthy. Hardly the impression he would want to make. He took another controlled, deep breath, trying to slow his pounding heart and calm the swarm of butterflies that felt like they might burst free from his stomach at any moment. He stepped forward, clearing his throat.

Tali turned at the sound, clearly somewhat startled. "Shepard, you're here. I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting you to visit so quickly. I mean…I'm glad you did, you are, but you…caught me off guard. I'm sorry."

Tali looked nervous. Make that very nervous. Her stammering and hand wringing made her tension clear. Shepard was taken aback. He had been so focused on his own nervousness he had not thought about how Tali might be feeling at this moment. She had seemed so at ease in his quarters, as eager as he was for this conversation. Now that he was here in front of her she seemed at least as anxious as he felt. Perhaps her anticipation had taken a course similar to his own, transforming to anxiety as the reality of this conversation approached. It was comforting in a way to think she was feeling as diffident as him. It also made it clear that they needed to have this conversation before one or both of them exploded. He licked his lips, swallowing hard, and pushed ahead, wishing Chambers had given him some insight about her conversation with Tali.

"Tali, hello. I was hoping we could have that conversation now, if you're not too busy. About us. About, 'together'." Shepard kept his hands still at his sides, trying to project confidence and interest.

"Of course, Shepard." Tali glanced to the other occupants of engineering. Ken Donnelly and Gabby Daniels were at their usual stations appearing perhaps a bit too focused on the panels in front of them. Chief Engineer Adams was not currently in engineering. Tali turned back to Shepard and waved for him to follow her to the far end of the room, near the mass effect core. Shepard had learned that the noise and magnetic fields generated close to the core disrupted listening devices as well as more mundane attempts to overhear conversations. Shepard gladly followed Tali to this more private spot, regretting that he had not thought to talk to Tali about this before she could walk out of his quarters.

Shepard was opening his mouth to speak when Tali turned and interjected. "I'm sorry, Shepard. I didn't mean to be so forward, so…unprofessional with you. A lot has happened between us in the last several days and I didn't mean to jump to conclusions or pressure you. I just wanted to tell you how I feel. But you've been through a lot lately, seen…a lot. I didn't mean to push, to be so…selfish. I'm sorry." Tali's shoulders sagged as she ran out of breath, her arms crossed protectively, hugging herself.

Shepard stood confused. The last thing he wanted was for Tali to be upset, or to think he was upset. "What is this about, Tali? You've never been selfish. If anything you've put others first too much. Hell, you nearly got killed protecting me. I'm sorry it took almost losing you to realize the feelings I have for you. I couldn't have been happier than when you told me that you had feelings for me. I want to discover what those feelings are, for both of us." Shepard thought about what she had just said, that he had 'seen a lot'. "Did I cross a line by seeing your face? I imagine that is an important step for a Quarian."

"What? No, Shepard. I mean, well, yes, but no. You could not have been more respectful toward me. To sit with me for so long and refuse to steal a look…no, you saw my face when I wished it, not before. I meant you had been through so much with…", Tali hesitated and squirmed a bit, "with what happened with Liara. I was talking with Kelly and she seemed worried about you possibly getting hurt again so soon after…you know."

After his relationship with Liara imploded. Or exploded. Mordin never did tell him if he had figured out which it was. The corner of Shepard's mouth quirked up in a half-smile at the memory. He had been through a lot with Liara. Now he had been through a lot with Tali. One of the stray anxieties that had been buffeting him suddenly snapped into focus. He _had_ been through a lot with Liara. Those intense experiences had been a catalyst for their attraction. Was he doing the same thing again with Tali? Were the things he was feeling real or just an illusion created by their own intense experiences? Was whatever she was feeling real? Shepard mentally grabbed his doubts and did his best to throttle them. No, they had spent so much time together when things were calm, just talking, just enjoying each other's company. No. No, this was no illusion, no trick of adrenaline.

Shepard realized Tali had again begun to wring her hands as she waited for him to process whatever jumble of thoughts and feelings were roiling around in his head and heart. He took her hands in his own, gently, and looked into the points of light that were her eyes. "Tali, I'm still figuring this out, but I think I feel the way I feel because of me and because of you. Not because of Liara, or the Exterminator, or the drama of the last week. I've liked being around you from the moment I met you. I've considered you a good friend from our time on the original Normandy. I respect your abilities, your intelligence, your self-sacrifice, and…more, stuff, I can't put into words. I meant what I said on Ilium that you were beautiful before I ever saw your face. I want to figure these feelings out with you, Tali. I hope you want to do that as well."

"Oh, Shepard, do you really mean…of course you mean, you wouldn't say it if you…" Shepard could see Tali was struggling to process her own thoughts and doubts. Shepard waited as patiently as he could, knowing the difficulty of that struggle. Tali nodded slightly to herself as if she had come to some decision, then raised her eyes to again meet Shepard's. "I had no experience with humans, Shepard, before I met you. I wasn't sure what to think, even after you saved me from Saren's assassins and I joined your crew. So I watched to see what kind of man I had sworn to help. I watched you struggle with every sacrifice. The death of Kaidan. The necessity of destroying the genophage cure. The loss of so many when you ordered your people to save the council from the Geth and Sovereign. My respect for you and…more…has grown as I've seen the man you are. I've tried to be there for you, wished I could take that pain for you, but I never believed you could see me as more than…that you could see past this." Tali gestured at her helmet and suit.

Shepard took Tali's hand back into his own. "I don't know what this is yet, Tali. But I see _you_. And I want to figure this out together." Shepard smiled, remembering the hospital. "So, it was okay that I saw your face. I didn't break any Quarian rules?"

"Ha, yes, Shepard. I asked you to look at me. To show someone your uncovered face is a gesture of trust among Quarians, though usually the circumstances aren't quite so dramatic. I haven't regretted for a moment my choice to ask you to look at me." Tali's voice drifted, as if she too were remembering that moment and her own choice. "Probably the only more significant gesture among Quarians is linking suits."

"Linking suits? What do you mean by that?"

"Well, Quarians may choose to link their suits, essentially sharing a single environment. We get sick initially, but then we adapt to each other and eventually can share the same environment without illness. It's one of the greatest acts of trust, of acceptance, that Quarians can share. I haven't trusted anyone enough for that, though. Except, well…no Quarians. Um, you know what I mean."

"Tali, it's okay. I appreciate the thought and I feel the same way, I'd be honored to link suits with you, but you don't have to prove anything to me."

Tali's agitation seemed to increase after this reassurance, to Shepard's further confusion. "I know, Shepard. Well, not that I know, but I didn't mean it like that. It's, um… Wow, it's really hot in here. It's just that the tradition also signifies a willingness for, um, intimacy. I wasn't trying to…it's not always like that. It's more…How did we even end up talking about this?"

Shepard finally recognized the source of Tali's increased nervousness. "Whoa, Tali. I get it. We were talking about trust. Anything more is probably getting ahead of ourselves. I think you're amazing, Tali, and I definitely think you're attractive, but we should probably figure out if we really want to be with each other before we jump to _being_ with each other." Shepard felt a bit silly dancing around the topic of sexual attraction, but he realized he wasn't sure where the cultural boundaries for Quarians were on the topic.

Tali exhaled with relief. "Thank you, Shepard. It would be ridiculous to jump straight into a conversation about, _that_ , before we even figure out how we're really feeling. So, how do humans figure these things out? How do you know if you really want to be with someone?"

Shepard reached up to rub the stubble on his chin. He had never really thought about it before, certainly never expected to have to explain the concept, but Tali had a fair point. How _could_ they figure this out? "That's, actually, a really good question, Tali." Shepard mulled some more while Tali stood, still nervous, but also attentive. This might be the path that would allow them to figure this out. Shepard snapped his fingers as an idea occurred to him. "Of course, we'll go on a date. Just the two of us. Spending time away from the ship and the mission, doing something other than blasting Geth or Collectors."

"We've always done well together in combat, Shepard. What would we do on a…date?"

"A date, Tali. We could do anything we wanted. We could do something just for fun. What sort of things did you do for fun on the migrant fleet?"

"I'm afraid I'm really not experienced…I mean I haven't really…We didn't really…date…much on the migrant fleet."

Shepard cocked his head slightly in confusion. "So what did you do with your free time, or if you were attracted to someone, or just with a group of friends?"

Tali shifted from foot to foot, becoming even more agitated. "We really just…didn't. I really…didn't. I grew up, every Quarian did, hearing about all the things we have to do as a people to survive in a universe that is constantly trying to kill us. When it came to relationships, we were told stories to teach us lessons, like the story of Elma'Turl vas Micross. In the first generations after we fled Rannoch, we were lost, just trying to survive day-to-day. Some pursued their passions, expecting they would die soon and seeing no reason for restraint. No one was thinking of the longer term genetic stability of the population. A young man wanted to marry Elma, but found out they were related. He then tried to find another woman to marry, but kept finding out he was related to each woman he desired. Then his mother revealed that the man he thought was his father was not actually his father, so he was not related to any of these women."

Tali shook her head and chuckled slightly. "It's a silly story. I doubt it's even true. I laughed at it as I was growing up. But I can still sing the song that went with the story. It and other stories stuck with me and taught me important lessons about Quarian life. The people in the story are foolish and show us to take relationships seriously. When we commit to a relationship, we mean it. We live in close proximity on the ships, so a bad relationship can affect a lot of people. The story also reminds us that we won't live on the same ship we grow up on, and why that is. For genetic diversity, when we return from our pilgrimage we go to a different ship than the one we were raised on. That means there is little reason to start a close relationship before the pilgrimage since it is rarely the case that the people you are around as a teenager will be the people you are around as an adult."

Shepard was stunned. It sounded like a lonely life. Among so many, but at the same time cut off, separate. Cut off at times as much by cultural necessity as by the suits they wore. Thinking of the group over the individual, even oneself, especially oneself. "How do you possibly meet anybody like that? I don't mean any disrespect, Tali, but how do Quarians…find each other?"

Tali sighed. "Often, it isn't easy. It's not like we have the resources to take teenagers on field trips between ships. Sometimes two people might simply meet on the ship they go to after returning from pilgrimage. Often ships will make it known when they have eligible men and women, it can be an important draw to bring those returning from pilgrimage to a particular ship. Sometimes families have connections across ships and plan marriages from when the children are young."

Shepard was shocked by this. "It sounds like you are talking about arranged marriage, Tali. Do Quarians ever force their children into marriages?" Shepard found the possibility disturbing and had to remind himself that Tali came from a society quite literally alien to his own.

"What? No, Shepard. No. At least, Quarian law says that no one can be forced to marry against their will. It doesn't say anything about raising a child with the expectation that he or she will go to a particular ship and marry a particular person. If you grow up believing something, being told something over and over, you will probably end up living out that belief. I've never heard of anyone being forced into an arranged marriage, but I'd be lying if I said it was impossible. It's one more reason why we need to go home, to Rannoch. Life on the migrant fleet can be desperate, and desperate people do desperate things, even if that desperation stretches over three hundred years."

"It must have been even more difficult for you, as the daughter of an Admiral. There must have been a lot of pressure on you. A lot of…expectations. I hope being here with me, pursuing this, doesn't cause you any problems with your people."

Tali appeared lost in her thoughts. After several seconds she shook her head. "No, Shepard. You are a friend to the Quarian people, respected by them and, more importantly, by me. My father won't approve..." Tali stopped short as she stumbled unexpectedly across the reality that her father was gone, that he could no longer give or refuse his approval. Shepard took her into a hug, holding her as she stopped and just breathed for several seconds, refusing to completely lose her composure. He was reminded of how he had held her on the Alarei after they had found the body of her father. Comforting her in the face of her loss, being there for her. After several seconds she spoke again, finishing her thought. "My father would not have approved of me pursuing a relationship with you, but I hope, I have to believe he would have respected my decision to follow my heart. So tell me, Shepard. What do you think our next step should be?"

This was not where Shepard had expected his supposedly simple question about dating to go. It was clear he had a lot to learn about Quarian social norms and behavior. If they were going to figure out what they were feeling he would have to navigate that complexity. Or side-step it. They weren't on the flotilla, after all.

"I'm sorry, Tali. I didn't mean to stir up…so much. I want to understand how Quarians get to know each other, but my ignorance is really showing. I'll tell you what. How about if I introduce you to human dating? I'll plan things out and take you out on a real date. We can see where things go and where our feelings take us and you can see what the human concept of a date is. What do you say?"

"I say that sounds like a wonderful idea, Shepard. I would love to go on a…date…with you." She cocked her head in what he had come to recognize as a smile. "Is there anything you would need me to do to help with this date?"

"You don't need to do a thing, Tali. Leave it to me. Give me a little time. I'll set things up and let you know when I'm ready." Shepard was nearly bouncing as his excitement with this plan surged.

"You do not have a good track record on plans working out as intended, Shepard. Should I be expecting a sudden Geth attack or Collector ambush as part of this date?"

Shepard smiled wryly at Tali. "Very funny. Everything will be perfectly safe. You have my guarantee. If I do see any problems I'll send up a flare or signal you in Morse code or something."

"So I should bring flares, just in case? I like codes, but I've never heard of Morse code."

"It's an old Earth communication code. It's never completely died out, despite other codes and communication methods being developed. It's pretty simple. I learned it as a kid, mostly for fun. You can bring flares if it makes you feel better, but I've got this covered." Shepard was grinning broadly, a real sense of excitement pushing aside the anxiety he had been feeling. He took Tali in another hug, then began backing down the walkway toward the exit. His step had a bounce as he contemplated the idea of spending time with Tali. "I've got to run, Tali. I've got planning to do. Don't worry about a thing. This date is going to be perfect."


	2. Chapter 2 - Planning Perfection

Chapter 2

Planning Perfection

"This date has to be perfect, Chambers." Shepard stalked across his quarters from his desk to his armor locker and back, over and over, his nervous energy radiating in palpable waves. Kelly Chambers sat comfortably on the sectional sofa across from Shepard's bed, legs crossed, fingers interlaced and resting on her stomach, watching Shepard's progress. Or lack of progress.

"I promised to introduce her to human dating. I don't think she's ever been on anything resembling a date, so this is my big chance to make this something special and amazing. To really show her that I care enough to do this right. So it's got to be perfect. Not just good, or okay. Perfect. The right place, the right activity. Chambers, it's got to be…"

"Perfect, Commander?" Chambers smiled wryly at Shepard.

Shepard merely scowled and continued his pacing. His thoughts mirrored his path, covering the same ground over and over, but going nowhere. He repeated his circuit several more times before pausing and giving an exasperated sigh. He looked toward Chambers and his shoulders sagged in defeat. "Yes, Chambers. Yes. Perfect. This matters a great deal to me."

Chambers' smile shifted from wry to sympathetic. "Do you think you're maybe being a little hard on yourself? You've already taken the responsibility for planning this date, but now it has to be 'perfect' as well? Do you think perfection is even possible?"

Shepard sagged further, dropping to sit on the bed, elbows on knees, staring at the floor. "I don't know, Chambers. I just know I want this to be memorable for Tali. If she and I decide to be together I want her to look back on this and say 'I'll never forget that amazing first date' and not 'Wow, how did we ever recover from that miserable experience'".

"Then maybe you should stop trying to come up with perfection and just focus on spending time away from the ship and mission with the woman you care about. There is no perfection, so requiring perfection guarantees failure. Maybe you could think about past dates you've been on and remember what made for a good or a bad date before this?"

Shepard squirmed and continued to avoid eye contact. "Well, you see, Chambers, that's just it. I haven't exactly…engaged…participated, in a lot of…you know."

"As Counselor to the crew of this ship and to you, Commander, I want to assure you that I consider this a confidential meeting. It is important that you feel free to be completely honest with me if I'm going to be helpful to you. Are you trying to tell me that you'd never been in a relationship prior to Dr. T'Soni? I'd appreciate if you could clarify what you mean."

Shepard rubbed his hands up and down his thighs nervously. He looked everywhere in the room but at his Yeoman. He seemed occupied with some internal struggle, wrestling with some personal demons. Nearly a minute passed before Shepard sighed heavily and much of the nervous energy drained out of him. "I'm trying to say, Chambers, that despite my insistence on introducing Tali to human dating, I've never really 'dated' anyone. Colony life was always demanding, even for a teenager, and by the time I was reaching a point where I might…pursue…someone, slavers attacked the colony and my family was killed. After that it just didn't seem important anymore. It seemed frivolous and stupid to go for a romantic walk in the moonlight. I didn't want attachment. I just wanted out. I joined the Alliance as soon as I could and threw myself into the military life. There were women, but nothing I would call a relationship. Certainly no bond, no connection. Nothing like what I've felt with Tali. I think I was so angry for so long there was no room for…well, what I think I'm feeling now."

Chambers sat in silence for several seconds. She carefully slid to the end of the couch nearest Shepard and leaned forward, bridging the distance between them. She spoke slowly and quietly, as if she might startle him into flight like a wild animal. "You've been through so much, Commander. Mindoir. The Blitz. The events with the Reapers and the kidnapping of human colonies add even greater burdens to you. Do you still believe that romantic walks, that attachment, is 'frivolous and stupid'?"

Shepard had hunched over more as he sat, his body pulling itself into a protective ball. He clenched and unclenched his fists as his thoughts and emotions collided and tore at each other, as he struggled to process, let alone express, feelings he had long buried. Chambers was surprised how calm his voice sounded when he finally began to speak again. "For so long all I wanted was to find the sons of bitches that slaughtered the people I cared about and return the favor. I don't know if it was fate or the universe playing a sick joke that I was stationed on Elysium when the Blitz happened. I know you've read my files, Chambers. Did you ever wonder how one man could hold off so many, kill so many? When those slavers landed all I could see were the bodies of my family. Could only think that maybe these were the same monsters that killed everyone I loved. I went…insane. Berserk. I had no thought but making them dead. And I did. Over and over and over again until they had no choice but to run or die. They called that heroism and pinned the Star of Terra on me, but I didn't feel like a hero. It wasn't enough. The anger, the need for revenge kept burning."

Shepard leaned back taking a deep breath. He stared upward and into the past, seeing his memories. "It was Agebinium that changed things. A pirate named Elanos Haliat lured me there looking for the same sort of revenge I had been craving since Mindoir. He claimed responsibility for the Blitz and blamed me for ruining it, for ruining him. He was willing to set off a nuke way too close to his own position to guarantee my death. I shot him so many times, him and his men. I killed them all."

Chambers shifted on the sofa, leaning closer and nodding encouragement to Shepard. "How did you feel after killing the man responsible for the Blitz, a man who had gladly inflicted the same sort of death and pain you had experienced on Mindoir?"

Shepard sighed again and shifted his gaze back to the floor. "Honestly, Chambers? I felt empty. Don't get me wrong, Haliat was a true bastard who earned the end I gave him, but hearing him describe what had been driving him was entirely too close to what had been driving me. On Elysium I had killed his men, ruined his dreams, however twisted, leaving him with a desire to find the one responsible and get revenge. It was too close, Chambers. Too close. Like looking into a cracked mirror at the monster I could have been, could still become. My desire for vengeance burned itself out in that moment and threatened to take me with it. It felt like there was a hole in my soul and I didn't want to fill it with more anger and violence. But that was all I really knew how to do. You asked me, Chambers, if I still thought romance was stupid. I realized it's one of the only things that really matters. I realized that if I pursued revenge and death, then that was all I would ever find. Death could never fill the hole for long. It was life, connection, yes, even romance, that made the fight matter. I owe Liara for showing me that. Liara was there for that fight. Afterward, she seemed to understand what I was going through. She was there for me in a moment when I might have completely lost myself. I think part of me grabbed onto her passion, her desire, to fill that hole with something I hoped was better than the anger and hate that had nearly consumed me. And it _was_ better. So much better that I thought it had to be love, even though I never used the word with Liara."

Chambers was quiet as Shepard bared his soul. Private things, powerful things that Shepard had locked away were bursting free, demanding to come into the light. But now the flow was ebbing, Shepard sagging with fatigue from the emotional energy he had expended. "This might seem like an odd question, Commander, but did you ever take Liara out on a date?"

"Nothing that would count as such, no. We talked occasionally, but even before what happened on Agebinium it felt like there was sexual tension in every conversation. After what happened, well, I wanted her. She wanted the same thing and we just fell into the physical intimacy. Every time we were together…like that…it was here on the Normandy on our way to fight the Geth or Saren. It was there and then it just wasn't. Just the hole was left, again, with nothing to fill it. Passion was better than revenge, but still temporary."

Chambers steepled her fingers, studying Shepard. "Are you afraid what you're feeling for Tali will follow the same pattern? That what you're feeling for her is just you trying to fill that hole again?"

"YES!" Shepard nearly screamed. I don't just care about Tali, I really like her. I want this, need this, to be more than just a moment of passion. I want it to be more than that for both of us."

"Then you have at least the start of an answer. When you talked with Tali on the original Normandy, did you expect anything from her. Was there that 'sexual tension' you described having with Liara?"

Shepard's eyebrows drew together in thought. "Not really. I wondered what she looked like under her suit, but I guess most humans would wonder that. No, there wasn't anything sexual. I just liked talking with her. It was…nice. I always felt better after talking with her, even when we were arguing about the Geth."

"So you began your relationship based on mutual respect, interest in each other's cultures, shared company. Sounds like the basis of a genuine relationship, whatever may or may not develop in that relationship. It also sounds to me like you cared for each other before you ever considered becoming more than friends."

Shepard was looking into the distance, a slight smile turning up the corner of his mouth. "Yeah. I've always liked just being with Tali."

Chambers leaned in that little bit closer and lowered her voice, commiserating. "Then just be with her. It doesn't matter so much what you are doing than that you do it together. That's how you'll learn if this relationship can really be more than a friendship."

Shepard sat in thought for several seconds. "That…makes sense, Chambers. I can just be with Tali. It doesn't have to be perfect." Shepard sat, pondering his options. "Thank you, Chambers. You've been a big help, but I think I can figure it out from here. I better let you get back to your duties. Let me walk you to the elevator." Shepard rose and extended a hand to help Chambers to her feet.

Chambers leaned back on the sofa, resuming her comfortable position. "Before I go, Commander, I think I would be remiss if I didn't ask if you had carefully considered the risks of any relationship with Tali."

Shepard dropped the hand he had extended to his side, but remained standing. "What do you mean, Chambers?"

"I don't mean the possibility of hurt feelings or a bad relationship. I mean literal dangers. You're talking about being in a relationship with a woman who you will inevitably send into harms way. Tali is a fighter, but she is at greater risk than any other crewmember from the consequences of injury. I don't know what it's like to face those risks. I get to sit safely on the Normandy and the odds of me ending up in a firefight or battle are remote. Tali has faced and will continue to face those risks because she believes in this fight, but also because she believes in you. I don't want to see either of you hurt, but we both know it could happen. Like it did on Virmire. I'm asking if you're prepared for that possibility."

Chambers maintained eye contact with Shepard and it was Shepard who had to look away. "I…I don't know, Chambers. I'm still trying to figure out the present. I'm not even thinking that far into the future right now." Chambers raised an eyebrow at this statement, making it clear to Shepard that she recognized he was avoiding the question, and making sure he recognized that too. "I'll think more about this. I really should let you get back to your duties, though." Shepard again extended his hand. Chambers took it this time and allowed Shepard to help her to her feet. They turned and walked together to the elevator. Shepard looked lost in his thoughts as the elevator arrived.

"I hope you'll think more about what I said, Commander. I genuinely want happiness for you and Tali." Chambers nodded and stepped into the elevator.

Shepard looked up from his thoughts to wish her goodbye. "Of course, Kelly. Thank you for your time and patience with me. I appreciate your insights." She smiled at him once more as the door closed.

Kelly Chambers kept smiling as the elevator began its descent. "God that man can be thick as a brick", she thought to herself. A moment later she chided herself for the unkind judgment. No, Shepard wasn't stupid or foolish she decided. "Naïve." That was the word. Too trusting by far. It was going to get him into serious trouble some day. She knew, and The Illusive Man had come to accept, that some form of control was necessary and that she was the one to establish it. And despite Shepard pushing her away in the past, she was making progress now. She doubted Shepard had even noticed that he had called her by her first name. He was too trusting all right. Too trusting of her. She had comforted and reassured him, much as Liara had done at a critical moment. Chambers knew she had genuinely helped him with his struggle to connect with Tali. She needed that relationship to grow and develop if it was to serve as the catalyst for elevating herself further in Shepard's eyes. Chambers was more convinced than ever that the best possible outcome for Cerberus, for humanity, would be if Tali met a tragic end and Shepard felt responsible for it. Her reminder of what had happened to Kaidan Alenko, as well as her expressed concern for Tali's safety, was already priming Shepard to be wracked with guilt when and if something unfortunate happened. After all, she couldn't very well be there to pick up the pieces unless Shepard was first broken. Unless he learned the hard way that love would burn you alive, leaving nothing but pain and ashes. She smiled again and began considering how best to express her success in her report to The Illusive Man.

* * *

Shepard sat in the open air café in the Presidium Commons. The Normandy had docked that morning and members of his crew had scattered to various business they had aboard the Citadel. Shepard knew there was information to be obtained regarding other possible recruits for his mission, but he had a different mission in mind at the moment. After his conversation with Kelly Chambers he had realized that a stop at the Citadel would allow him to seek out needed information, but would also have good possibilities for his date with Tali. He could come aboard, explore some options, and find a place that Tali would love. It would be _their_ place. The place where the amazing, not perfect he reminded himself, but amazing first date happened.

As the day wore on his optimism had severely soured. He had searched options across the Citadel, but nothing had been quite right. The Arboretum had been beautiful, but it relied heavily on scents that Tali couldn't possibly experience, let alone appreciate. Even the array of colors might be distorted by the tint of her faceplate. The last thing he wanted was to make the situation awkward. Once they started down that path they might not be able to recover.

That also ruled out the nightclub he had heard about, but been unable to locate. Purgative, or something like that. It didn't matter. Shepard could be good-natured about it, but he knew he was a laughable dancer. If he really didn't want things to become awkward, then best to leave that embarrassment until much later in their relationship. He also didn't really want to compete with the noise and chaos of a nightclub. Not to mention the possible problems with food and drink incompatibility.

Shepard knew Quarians could probably consume similar food to Turians, but wasn't sure they actually liked Turian food, or if Tali did. The extranet naturally had conflicting information regarding this and most of the other questions he had regarding Quarian preferences. He began to wish he had spent more time asking Tali about her personal preferences rather than the history and culture of her people. Museums, simulstims, concerts, none of them felt quite right. Shepard was determined to figure this out, but he couldn't very well put his recruitment and mission on hold indefinitely. One more day to get this as close to perfect as possible. One day. Shepard drained the drink he had been staring into, some sort of fruity concoction, and pushed the empty tumbler away wishing the perfect opportunity would conveniently drop into his lap.

"Commander John Shepard. I heard rumors that you were deceased."

Shepard turned toward the voice and found a well-dressed middle-aged man with dark, receding hair looking down at him, a glass in each hand. The man looked vaguely familiar to Shepard, but he couldn't place where he had seen him before. Shepard maintained a neutral attitude as he responded to the intrusion. "The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

"Ah, Mark Twain, or near enough anyway. Tell me commander, are you a man who appreciates the insights to be found in the works of the great bards?"

Shepard cocked an eyebrow at the man and shook his head slightly. "Nooo, not really. I'd just heard the quote before and thought it appropriate."

"Oh, that is a pity. There is a great deal of wisdom to be found in literature, if one is willing to open both the eyes and the mind and truly look. I've heard it said there is an art to doing great science. I have realized the reverse is also true. There is science, revelation about the most significant secrets of this universe, to be found within great art. It is difficult to find others who have realized this truth."

Shepard was tempted to dismiss the man as a crackpot. He considered ignoring him and returning to his own problem, but the man's odd manner felt familiar. Shepard searched his memory for where he knew the man. He was about to give up and simply ask the man his name when an agitated woman approached.

"Manuel, I've asked you not to wander off that way. You know people don't always understand or respond well to your…eccentricities."

The harried woman now scolding this, Manuel, was also familiar. She looked to be a bit older than the man she was chastising, with dark reddish hair and fair skin. Her scolding appeared to be born of genuine concern for the man, as if she were long used to managing his behavior. The name, as well as the interaction of the two, finally cued a memory for Shepard that felt like it had occurred an eon ago.

"Good lord, Dr. Warren, isn't it? I didn't recognize you or your assistant. It feels like it's been a lifetime, maybe two, since Eden Prime."

The woman turned from her scolding and finally looked at the man Manuel had been speaking to. Her eyes immediately went wide with recognition. "Oh my god! Commander Shepard! You're alive! I'd heard you were dead! My God. I never got the chance to properly thank you for saving us from the Geth. For everything you did after that. What are you doing here on the Citadel?"

"He is here because the universe demands it, plans it. Wheels and gears turn and grind and we move like clockworks to our assigned places. The meek and the mighty pulled by the same strings until our appointed hour comes round at last. Choices and chances, shifting, redirecting us, leading to this moment in which I hand the great Commander Shepard a drink and thank him for all he has done and all he will do." As he finished this proclamation, Manuel extended one of the two glasses he was holding to Shepard.

Both Shepard and Dr. Warren had simply stared as Manuel completed his rambling, Shepard with bemusement tinged with worry for the man's mental health, Dr. Warren with an air of tolerance that suggested she was used to the behavior. Shepard took the offered glass and couldn't help but think that no matter how odd the delivery it was nice that someone had finally made good on buying him a drink.

"Please excuse Manuel, Commander Shepard. I'm afraid he really has never fully recovered from what we went through on Eden Prime. He remains a brilliant mind, but…troubled."

Manuel continued to stare serenely at Commander Shepard, never glancing toward Dr. Warren. "Brilliance and madness and comprehension. Three sides of the same coin, Commander."

"Umm, okay. Well, I'm glad to see that you made it off Eden Prime and are doing…well, I guess? Anyway, I'm in the middle of something and I'd better get back to it." Shepard smelled nothing from the clear liquid in the glass Manuel had handed him. He took a drink for the sake of politeness and found it contained plain water. So much for the drink, Shepard thought to himself as he stood to go.

Dr. Warren stepped forward and laid a hand on Shepard's forearm. "Wait, Commander. It really is providence that we ran into you here on the Citadel. I have something important I'd like to discuss with you. It involves an opportunity that would take very little of your time, but could be a great help in the ongoing battle against…" Dr. Warren paused and looked about as if she expected to find spies surrounding them. She leaned in close to Shepard and in a whisper said, "…the Reapers."

Shepard paused in his preparations to depart. He was none too confident in the stability of Manuel, but Dr. Warren seemed lucid. And he couldn't discount that here were two people who truly believed in the existence of the Reapers and the threat they represented. Manuel had even recognized the role Saren Arterius had played in leading the Geth and had somehow realized the apocalyptic threat the Reapers represented. He had perhaps even been the first to recognize this, though no one had understood or believed him at the time. Shepard could identify with that and found himself slowly sinking back into his seat. Dr. Warren slid into the seat opposite him, a grateful smile on her face. Manuel continued to stand and stare enigmatically at Shepard.

Dr. Warren looked about again. Shepard thought about pointing out that by looking around suspiciously she was more likely to draw notice, but saw no reason to put her more on edge. As far as he could tell, there was no one about who seemed interested in eavesdropping on their conversation. "We are part of a group, Commander, who recognize the danger the Reapers represent and are working on ways to defeat them. We are gathering here at the citadel, bringing as many of the best scientific minds as possible together to discuss strategies for combatting the Reapers. You are quite possibly the most knowledgeable person in the galaxy on the subject of fighting the Reapers. You are, quite frankly, a legend and hero to everyone in our group. If you could join us tomorrow evening for a conference to discuss our current resources and strategies we would be extremely grateful. You could provide invaluable expertise and inspiration for our struggle. Please, Commander. With so many refusing to believe the Reapers even exist, let alone the threat they represent, the good your assistance could do would be immeasurable."

"Hmm. I don't know. I have a limited time before I have to leave the Citadel and a number of things to accomplish."

"Please, Commander. We're meeting under the guise of a scientific conference regarding archaeological similarities in pottery design and use across disparate unconnected planetary cultures. Hopefully that will dissuade anyone outside our group from getting too interested in our conference. There will be a reception with food and drinks prior to the discussion and presentation. I think it could be a very pleasant evening that would also allow you to share your expertise regarding the Reapers with a group that will truly appreciate your knowledge, will appreciate _you._ I hope you'll consider joining us."

"You must be weary of playing the role of Cassandra, Commander. Wouldn't you rather be recognized in your role as Horatius?"

Shepard wasn't really following the maundering of Manuel and doubted he could make sense of it even if he were. He was focused on the light bulb that had come on in his head. "So, if I were to attend this conference, I could come and share ideas and leave when I chose to? And I could bring a companion? One who, frankly, has as much experience fighting the Reapers and their minions as I do?"

"Of course, Commander. We would welcome you and your companion. Any insights you can share would be of benefit to all of us. The only thing I would ask is that you not reveal our presence to your colleagues in Cerberus. Our benefactors have had concerns about Cerberus' motivations and activities for some time and we would prefer not to cross paths with them, despite your current affiliations. I hope you understand, Commander."

"All too well, I'm afraid. I understand the desire to keep them at arm's length. Very well. I'll see you tomorrow evening. Where is this conference occurring?"

"We are meeting aboard a civilian light cruiser docked in bay B15. It allows us to control our own security for the conference as well as guaranteeing our privacy. I'll inform our security that you will be attending and to afford you every courtesy. If there's anything we can do to show you our appreciation, Commander, don't hesitate to let us know."

"Not necessary, Dr. Warren. I'll look forward to seeing you at the conference. I'd better be on my way. I have a few preparations to make before tomorrow."

"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, Commander. You shall light our way."

Dr. Warren glanced toward her assistant with exasperation. "Please, Commander, call me Diane. We'd better go as well. It's time for Manuel's medication and we have our own preparations to finish for the conference. We'll look forward to seeing you there." Dr. Warren took Manuel by the hand and led him away disappearing into the crowds along the main walkway.

Shepard sat smiling and finished his glass of water. He was curious about this new group Dr. Warren described. Any group that could bring resources to bear on the problem of studying and hopefully defeating the Reapers was worth knowing more about. Shepard knew he could trust Dr. Warren and even Manuel, troubled as he was, after what they had experienced on Eden Prime. They understood the danger the Reapers represented in a way most others couldn't or wouldn't. If this group they were a part of could also potentially serve as a counter to Cerberus so much the better. But he would worry about that later. Right now he was focused on the opportunity presented by this conference. This could work. He and Tali could ease into their date helping to educate others on a topic they both knew well in an environment where they would be appreciated. It also wouldn't hurt to have others outside the crew making him look good, elevating him. They could have some food and drink, share their knowledge on an important and familiar topic, then slip away to spend time together in private, knowing they had done some good. Tali would enjoy that, respect that, and respect him the more for it. Yes. Yes. Shepard was pleased with the possibilities. It would be good. Maybe even perfect.


	3. Chapter 3 - A Night to Remember

**Author's note: My apologies for the long delay on this chapter. A broken foot, among several other significantly difficult life circumstances, really took the wind out of my sails. It's been one of those stretches that makes you empathize with Job. I will do my best to be timelier in completing future chapters. Thank you for your patience.

Chapter 3

A Night to Remember

Commander John Shepard hunched over the sink in the private bathroom of his quarters aboard the Normandy and prepared himself. He braced his hands on either side of the cold metal basin and leaned toward the mirror, staring hard at his reflection.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked himself aloud. His reflection didn't respond in any helpful manner. It just stood there looking anxious and none too bright. Shepard blew out a breath and bounced on the balls of his feet, trying to calm himself. He asked himself again, silently this time, why he was so nervous about this. He wanted this, she wanted this, so what was the problem?

"That's the problem right there", Shepard thought to himself. "You really do want this. And you never mastered the trick of turning 'want' into 'have' and not regretting it." Shepard was amazed at the storm of butterflies swirling in his stomach. He had realized he was helpless at this point to calm them. They had become a fixture, swarming about when he thought of being with Tali and, paradoxically, settling into a warm and joyful glow when he was actually with her. So really, that was the answer to the problem. Stop ruminating and go be with her. Shepard began to turn away to go back into his quarters, but paused, just once more he told himself, to check his appearance. He wanted everything to be as perfect as possible.

Shepard heaved a sigh as he looked at his newly appearing five o'clock shadow. He could have sworn he had shaved less than an hour ago, yet there it was. He smiled wryly at himself. Ah, well. Maybe it was part of what she found handsome about him. That was what she had said in the hospital. That she thought he was handsome. Shepard's smile became genuine as he thought of the flattery, trusting it, valuing it as a gift from the woman he cared about.

Shepard's broadening smile suddenly vanished. "Shit!" he hissed through his teeth and hurried out of the bathroom into the adjoining office area of his quarters. He had intended to find a gift for Tali, a small token, but meaningful, to express his pleasure at their first date, at the opportunity to be with her. All day inspiration had eluded him and, in the midst of his other duties and distractions, he had forgotten to find something appropriate. "Shit, shit, shit", Shepard mumbled over and over as he turned and looked around his quarters. He doubted there was anything appropriate to be had on the ship and he didn't have time now to get something from the Citadel, even if he could come up with an idea. He was meeting Tali at the airlock to begin their date in…Shepard checked his omni-tool. "Shit!" he exclaimed again. He was supposed to meet Tali in five minutes. He had no intention of being late.

Shepard put his hand to his forehead as he turned, scanning the room. He was debating the pros and cons of going to their first date empty handed when his eyes lighted on the bouquet of plastic flowers he had given to Tali as she lay recovering in the Nos Astra hospital. He walked over to the bouquet and touched the plastic, multi-colored blooms. He knew this was meaningful to them both. He drew out of the bouquet a single, long plastic stem topped by a deep purple flower, alien, but beautiful. Shepard's smile grew wider. Tali favored purple and it certainly favored her.

"Sometimes last minute inspiration is the best inspiration", Shepard thought to himself. He realized the butterflies were still swarming in his stomach, but now it was excitement, almost giddiness at the prospect of sharing this date with Tali that surged through him. He took another deep breath and said to no one in particular, "It's time". Shepard quickly stepped back to the mirror to take one last critical glance at himself. He sighed and accepted that he had done the best he could. He swept up the dark suit jacket and put it on over his white dress shirt. He couldn't recall the last time he had worn an actual suit and despite his usual self-deprecation he had to admit he wore it well. He picked up his Carnifex pistol from the desktop and stood a moment longer contemplating the weapon. Given his track record he was tempted to jam the weapon into his belt, but the civilian suit offered no real means of securing the weapon. He set the pistol back down, determined that gunplay would not be part of the evening's distractions. Plastic bloom in hand, he and his butterflies made their way into the elevator and descended to the CIC.

As Shepard stepped from the elevator into the CIC he realized he was the center of much covert attention. Crew members glanced up from their stations and quickly, a little too quickly, focused back on their interfaces and consoles. Other crewmembers watched from the corners of their eyes or stopped to look innocently toward reflective surfaces. Shepard hadn't hidden his impending date with Tali and he knew word and rumor would travel fast on a warship as small as the Normandy.

Shepard could feel the surreptitious stares follow him. Since this was a Cerberus crew he didn't doubt there was a mixture of curiosity, support, and disapproval. He couldn't divine which was which from the people around him. It didn't matter. He knew what he wanted and he had come to trust that the crew would do their jobs, whatever their personal feelings. Despite this, he truly hoped that most were wishing him the best this evening.

As he reached the crew stations leading to the cockpit, Shepard could see three people standing near the airlock. Tali was already there, hopefully waiting patiently, and chatting amiably with Kelly Chambers. Joker stood nearby, not bothering to hide that he was there to gawk as Shepard and Tali left together for their date. Shepard strode up to the group with an air of confidence he hoped was genuine, hiding the plastic flower behind his back. Shepard smiled broadly as he approached, "Tali, I hope I didn't keep you waiting."

All three turned to Shepard simultaneously. Tali simply said, "Whoa", before bringing her hands together in front of her, two fingers of each hand forming a frame with Shepard at its center as if she were taking a mental picture of him in that moment. It took a moment longer before she spoke. Shepard's heart pounded through the interminable few seconds as he waited. "Keelah, Shepard. You look…amazing."

Shepard breathed an inward sigh of relief and smiled even more broadly at the compliment. Shepard was taking in Tali's appearance as well. He wanted to return her compliment in a way that showed he was as appreciative of her efforts as she was of his. Unfortunately, he took a bit too long in these thoughts and Joker chose to fill the moment as only he could.

"Yeah, Shepard. You really went all out. A-plus on the monkey suit. It's a shame we don't have a ball gown for Tali so she can be dressed up to match."

"What are you talking about, Joker? Tali looks terrific." Shepard realized that Joker was seeing things from a very human perspective. A Quarian's environmental suit was both barrier and connection to the surrounding world. Tali couldn't just throw fancy clothing over her suit, so she showed her effort with the suit itself and just the right accessorizing. Shepard didn't see a hint of grease or dirt anywhere on Tali's suit. The decorative fabric and hood was likewise spotless. Given her daily work on the ship that immaculate appearance represented an enormous effort on Tali's part. Shepard's eyes found something new. Tali's hood was held closed across her chest by a golden disc. He could see delicate engraving depicting a beautiful deer-like animal looking up from grazing, hills and a sunset behind it in the distance.

Shepard reached up to touch the disc, but hesitated. "This is beautiful, Tali. I've never seen it before. Where did it come from?"

Tali reached up and ran her fingers across the disc. She sounded wistful as she spoke. "This is very special, Shepard. The animal was called a Bulotha. I don't know if they even exist anymore. This came from Rannoch, from before my people were driven into exile by the Geth. As they fled my people couldn't take much. This has been in my family since then. It…means a lot to me." Tali paused, her mind clearly elsewhere. After a moment she shook her head and looked back to Shepard. "Anyway, it only took a tiny modification to turn it into a clasp for my hood. For special occasions only of course."

Shepard could hear how Tali used a light-hearted tone to cover the emotion that had welled up in her as she described the disc. He wasn't sure how he so often managed to trigger emotional mines with what seemed the most harmless of questions. Perhaps it was a special talent. Or a curse. "So, special and practical. Very Quarian, Tali. And very, very beautiful." Shepard turned to Joker. "You might need to get your eyes checked, Joker. She put at least as much effort as I did into preparing for this and I think she looks amazing." Shepard smiled as he said this, not wanting to darken the mood.

Joker held up his hands in mock surrender. "I yield. Clearly I was out of my mind. You have my apologies, Tali."

Tali leaned back and chuckled slightly. "It's all right, Joker. To be honest, you weren't really the one I was making the effort for."

The rebuke was gentle, but unmistakable. Kelly Chambers, who up until that point had been watching the byplay without comment, suddenly snorted. She looked at Joker and silently drew an invisible tick mark in the air. Joker, realizing how truly outnumbered he was, chose not to comment further.

"We should get going, Tali. But not before I present you with a token of my admiration." With a flourish, Shepard produced the purple plastic flower and held it out to Tali, bowing to her as he did so.

Tali took the flower and held it cradled in both hands. "Oh, Shepard. This is one of the flowers you gave me in the hospital. This is so…" Tali trailed off and Shepard pictured her recalling those events as he had. "I just had an idea." Tali gently separated the purple bloom from the stem. She stepped close to Shepard and reached up to his chest, deftly pinning the plastic bloom to his suit jacket with a sliver of metal she produced from one of her myriad pockets. "There. I've seen pictures of humans in suits wearing flowers like this." Tali stepped back and again framed Shepard with her fingers. "Perfect, Shepard. You're just perfect."

Shepard took Tali's hands into his own. "Hardly perfect, Tali, but closer when I'm with you."

Shepard stood holding her hands and just looking at her until Joker interrupted. "Okay, kids. Time to get going. Make sure you're back by midnight and have a nice time at the prom."

Joker was right. They needed to get going. Shepard walked with Tali to the airlock, holding her right hand in his left. Kelly Chambers spoke up as they moved into the outer airlock to disembark to the Citadel. "Have a great time you two. And Commander, remember what I said."

"I will. Thank you, Kelly. Take care of the ship 'til we get back."

The airlock door slid shut with a hiss and a moment later the outer hatch opened giving Shepard and Tali access to the Citadel. As they stepped away from the ship onto the boarding walkway, Shepard suddenly turned to Tali, grasping her hand tighter. "Let's make a run for it, Tali. Before something else follows us out the door and tries to spoil our date." Without waiting for a reply, Shepard took off at a jog, Tali quickly matching his pace. They ran, side-by-side, hand-in-hand, to the end of the docking platform and out of sight of the Normandy. Only then did Shepard pause at a bend in the walkway, looking dramatically back as if he expected pursuit. Tali couldn't help but laugh at the situation, much to Shepard's delight.

"I hope that wasn't too awkward back there, Tali. I don't think Joker has any other mode."

"Don't worry, Shepard. Another advantage of my previous time on the Normandy is that I think I've built up some immunity to Joker's behavior."

Shepard chuckled at that. "I think I would have to agree. And I appreciated the way you put him in his place."

"I meant what I said to him, Shepard. I like Joker, for some reason, but I didn't do any of this for his benefit or approval. I did it for me and for you. For us. And it matters to me that you recognized the effort I went to."

Shepard took a moment to steady his butterflies. It did matter. To him as well, which reminded him of something he had noticed. "I don't mean to pry, Tali, but when you were talking about this beautiful clasp it seemed there were things you were feeling. Personal things. If there's more you'd like to share, I'm here for you, if you want."

Tali stood quietly for several seconds with her head bowed, her hand gently caressing the clasp. "It's… Well, everything I said about this clasp is true. It has been passed down through my family since our exile from Rannoch. It belonged to my mother and was given to me after she died. She loved this disc. She always called it an actual piece of the beauty of Rannoch. Not a ship, or weapon, or tool, but something that existed just to be admired…and to remind us of home. I'm actually not sure she would approve of me turning it into a clasp, giving it a function." Tali hung her head and continued to stroke the clasp in thoughtful doubt.

Shepard gently took Tali's hand in his. He reached up with his free hand and raised her chin so their eyes met. "I remember you telling me about losing your mother to a virus when you were a teenager. I hope you will forgive my presumption, but I believe she would be incredibly proud of the woman you've become. I regret that I will never know your parents, but I see strength in you that I think comes from each of them. You've taken those strengths and made them uniquely your own." Shepard smiled and placed Tali's hand back on the golden clasp. "Rather like this disc, I think."

Tali held her hand on the clasp for several more seconds, then surprised Shepard by stepping into an embrace, wrapping her arms around his torso and placing her head against his chest. Shepard hesitated for just a moment before embracing her in turn. Shepard felt his heart pound out a handful of beats before he heard Tali quietly say, "I _knew_ I was right to trust you Shepard, to let you _see_ me. I _knew_ it was right to be with you."

Shepard didn't know what to say to this, so he let his embrace speak for him. Holding Tali as closely as he could, wrapping her in the security of his arms. In the powerful feelings he could feel swirling, but was still struggling to name. Finally, he whispered to her, "Your heart is safe with me, Tali."

He wasn't sure how long they held that embrace. Part of him didn't want to ever let her go. Finally, they leaned back and looked at each other. Shepard felt an overwhelming desire to kiss her at that moment. He leaned in and gently placed his head against her helmet, letting the contact convey the intent if not the reality.

After several seconds Tali leaned back slightly and took a deep breath. "Keelah, Shepard. Our evening has barely begun. I got the impression we were headed somewhere before we were…sidetracked."

Shepard took a moment to again calm his butterflies and his breathing. Things did have a way of simply…happening…when he was with Tali. Not that he regretted that. But she was right. They did have somewhere to be. "Actually, you're right, Tali. We're going to start our evening assisting some old acquaintances of mine with a task near and dear to both our hearts. Ridding the galaxy of Reapers."

Tali stepped fully back from their embrace and cocked her head in a smile. "Ooh, Reapers. How romantic. I thought we were going to be getting away from the mission, Shepard."

"Small steps, Tali. I figured we could start with helping a group that has recognized the threat the Reapers represent and wants to join the fight against them. We'll have some food and drink with people who will understand and appreciate what we're doing for a change."

"And then, Shepard?"

Shepard looked around at the dance of ships, coming and going, and had a thought. "Then, I whisk you off to a quiet corner of the observation deck. Just you, me, a passing ship, and the vast expanse of the nebula."

"Actually, that part does sound romantic. I particularly like the 'just you and me' part. So, let's go help these friends of yours. Can you tell me some more about them?"

Shepard extended his left arm to Tali and she slipped her arm through his. They stepped on to an elevator that would take them to the correct docking bay. "Acquaintances more than friends. I rescued them during the Geth attack on Eden Prime. They were working on the Prothean dig site there. Dr. Diane Warren and her assistant, Manuel. He is really an odd one, but he was one of the very first to recognize the Reaper threat. The two of them are part of a group that wants the galaxy to prepare for the Reapers."

The elevator stopped. Shepard made to step through the door, but Tali didn't move. Shepard was pulled around to face her by their interlocked arms. He let her arm go and looked at her with some confusion. "Is everything okay, Tali?"

"Shepard, how well do you know these people? How well do you know this group?"

"Just from when I saved their lives. They saw me on the Presidium earlier and recognized an opportunity to get assistance for their group in the fight against the Geth and Reapers. I got the impression their group was relatively new and in need of encouragement and assistance getting started. There's no doubt they recognize the threat of the Reapers. I trust them. I thought we could meet the other members of their group, mostly scientists from the sound of things, and give them a hand. Given the resistance we've run into from the Council when we've tried to fight the Reapers I thought it would be good to support a new group. Especially one that's also no friend of Cerberus."

"That's a lot to accept from a chance meeting on the Presidium, Shepard. Do you know anything else about this group or who the members are?"

Shepard frowned slightly. "Not…really, Tali. Just what I told you. But like I said, these are people whose lives I saved and who recognize how big a threat the Reapers are. A group of scientists like that could be an incredible asset. And they're really looking forward to meeting and talking with us."

Tali stepped from the elevator and took Shepard's arm again. "I understand your enthusiasm, Shepard, but you have to admit you don't have the best history with walking into unknown situations. I just don't want our date to take a turn for the…dramatic."

Shepard smiled again. "I understand, Tali. And I appreciate your caution. But like I said, these are people we can trust. Besides their ship is docked right here on the Citadel and we can call for assistance if we run into problems. Not that I want any of our crew along on our date. Besides, we're here."

They had been walking through the docking bay as they talked, passing ships of various size and design. Shepard had stopped at bay B15. The boarding tube had a security guard at the entrance wearing light armor and carrying a sidearm. The walkway led to a civilian light cruiser that was roughly twice the size of the Normandy. Shepard eyed the security guard, but Tali was eyeing the ship.

"That is one fancy ship, Shepard. It's the newest Stellar Dynamics design. Top of the line." Shepard could see Tali focusing intensively on the ship. He suspected she was examining it using the additional tools provided by her helmet. "Keelah, Shepard. That ship is armed as well. It's well hidden, but there's no question it's got firepower and barriers to match."

It didn't surprise Shepard that Tali would recognize the quality of the ship at a glance. "Are you sure about the weapons and barriers, Tali?" Tali turned toward Shepard and cocked her head slightly. Shepard didn't need her to say the words. He could read "I'm a Quarian" in her body language. Shepard silently conceded the point. "That tells us this group is well funded and able to defend itself. I would think that's a good thing given all the dangers likely to threaten anyone working against the return of the Reapers."

Tali crossed her arms in a posture that Shepard interpreted as skepticism. He gestured to the vessel and stated, "Regardless, we need to investigate further and see if we can help this group to be as effective as possible. My impression is that they would really value our input. And we can always leave if the situation looks questionable."

Shepard again extended his arm and Tali slipped her arm into his, the gesture conveying her trust in Shepard more clearly than any words could. Together, they approached the security guard at the entrance to the boarding tube.

"Excuse me…" Shepard began, intending to ask the guard for permission to enter the ship. Shepard didn't get farther than those words before the guard's eyes opened wide in recognition. The guard quite unexpectedly dropped to one knee before Shepard and Tali, head bowed and fist to his chest. Shepard got out a further, "Whuh" before the guard began talking enthusiastically.

"Sir! It's such an incredible honor to meet you in person! The great Commander Shepard! Face to face! Savior of the Citadel! Savior of us all. Please, sir. Go right in. The conference can't properly begin without you."

Shepard was taken aback by the fawning behavior of the guard. He could admit to himself he was hoping for some hero worship, but this was excessive. "You can't really do your job from that position. Also, you might take a moment to notice the woman accompanying me. This is none other than Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. When she helped save the Citadel from the Reapers and Geth she was known as Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

The guard stood quickly back up, fidgeting with his hands. "Tali'Zorah nar Rayya! I'm sorry I didn't recognize you. I was so overwhelmed at meeting Commander Shepard. You've been with the Commander since the beginning. One of his original di…followers. True to him throughout his victories and struggles. It is an honor to meet you." The guard bowed low to Tali. "Please, proceed into the ship. Everyone was so excited when Dr. Warren told us you would be coming to the conference." The guard lifted his omni-tool and keyed in a command. This apparently connected him to someone aboard the docked ship as he then stated, "Doctor, Commander Shepard and his companion have arrived. They'll be coming aboard immediately."

Shepard reached to take Tali's hand and enter the ship, but Tali paused for a moment. She said to the guard, "It's good to meet you too…?" Tali ended her statement with a questioning tone, inviting the guard to provide his name.

The guard snapped to attention as he answered her question. "Heller, Joseph, ma'am."

Shepard noticed the reaction of the guard and his curiosity was piqued. It wasn't the way he typically saw private security guards behave, suggesting this man was more than a rent-a-cop. He asked, "Are you military, Heller?".

"Used to be, sir. Served in the Alliance, but now I work for Doctors Warren and Manuel. They're doing everything they can to save humanity and I want to do my part as well."

Shepard nodded and again turned to enter the ship. Tali slipped her arm into his and matched his stride. Once they were out of earshot of the guard, Tali leaned in close and quietly spoke to Shepard. "Did that whole thing seem odd to you, Shepard? Unless I'm misunderstanding some human cultural norm, that seemed like a strange reaction from that guard."

"No, you're right, Tali. It seemed a bit…excessive…but I told you these were people who recognized what we have done for the Citadel and the galaxy. I think it was just a bit of hero worship. I think he was just a little overwhelmed. I would expect the scientists to be a bit more level-headed."

"I don't know, Shepard. With the kneeling it seemed more like actual worship than hero worship. And what was that about 'saving humanity' comment. You said this group was going to fight the Reapers. That's about more than humanity. It made them sound a bit too much like Cerberus."

"True, Tali. But this group seems new to the fight and people often frame things in familiar terms. It could be that the easiest way for this group to start fighting the Reapers is in terms of saving humanity. We'll see what we can learn and what we can do to help them. Once we've done that we'll leave and have that time to ourselves." Shepard started to wonder if he had made a mistake bringing Tali here as their first date. He had hoped to meet a new ally, share ideas about defeating the Reapers, and bask in their admiration before departing on a high note with both he and Tali feeling energized and appreciated. Instead it felt like Tali was on edge. Not the direction for their date he envisioned, especially after her appreciation of his earlier support. They really couldn't just leave now. They were literally walking toward the airlock of the ship having already been announced. Suddenly bailing out now would only magnify the awkwardness. Hopefully Dr. Warren and her eccentric assistant would help put things back on track. Shepard walked into the airlock with an air of confidence that was feeling less and less genuine.

The airlock closed behind them and the white light of a decontamination cycle swept over them. Shepard looked over for the few seconds and smiled reassuringly at Tali. Moments later the inner airlock door opened. With some relief, Shepard saw that Dr. Warren and Manuel were standing at the entryway to greet them.

Dr. Warren smiled and stepped forward, her hand extended to shake Shepard's. "Commander Shepard. We're so pleased that you could make it. You honor us by agreeing to our invitation. Welcome aboard the Pilgrim's Progress. We and our colleagues are looking forward to the insights you can offer us."

Manuel stepped forward as Dr. Warren finished her greeting and bowed low to Shepard. ""Elen sila lumenn' omentielvo, a star shines on the hour of our meeting. Though Tolkien could not have understood that it is you, Commander Shepard, who are the star that shines and lights the path to our ascension."

Shepard found himself as nonplussed as ever with this behavior. "Er, right. Hello to you as well, Manuel. Or is it Dr. Manuel? I just realized I'm not sure which is correct."

Manuel smiled an odd smile apparently the only kind he knew. "I have been called both and responded to both. The universe does not seem to mind the redundancy and if the universe does not mind then why should I?"

Processing this reply delayed Shepard's intended introduction of Tali. Manuel showed no such hesitation and bowed low to Tali as well. "I had expected to find Dr. T'Soni at the Commander's side. But you appear to be a Quarian while I understood Dr. T'Soni to be an Asari. Unless we have all been mislead and you are an Empusa here to deceive and devour us. The fly in the ointment. The wrench in our works. The unaccounted for variable."

Shepard winced inwardly as he realized he had not specifically told them who his companion would be. It had not occurred to him that he would need to. He regretted it now as Manuel blundered into the intersection of his previous and current relationships. Tali simply reached out and shook Manuel's hand and stated, "I am Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. Commander Shepard's date this evening. Thank you for inviting us to this conference. I don't have any intention of devouring anyone, but I am quite capable with a wrench when required."

"You are very kind, Miss Zorah. Please forgive Manuel. I believe the excitement of the evening is aggravating his eccentricities. Perhaps a bit more medication is in order, Manuel. It won't do for you to be troubling our guests before they can even share their knowledge with us."

Manuel did seem particularly excited. Or perhaps agitated. "Pharmaceutical blinders cannot conceal the truths the universe reveals. The threads of fate converge. Our masterstroke against the great enemy shall be delivered with the aid of Commander Shepard."

Shepard had begun to consider how they could extricate themselves from the conference sooner rather than later. "Perhaps we could meet the other attendees and assist with how your resources might be best employed in preparing for the Reapers. It would also be helpful if you could explain what resources you possess and who is supporting your group. You appear to be well-funded."

"Of course, Commander. We should introduce you to the attendees and make use of your time with us. Please, follow me to the auditorium." Dr. Warren gestured for Shepard and Tali to follow her down the interior hallway of the ship.

As they walked Shepard leaned in close to Tali and whispered to her. "I'm sorry Tali. I didn't think to specify that you were my date. I hope it wasn't too awkward dealing with Manuel. I have to say, I thought you handled the situation well."

"He is every bit as odd as you suggested. I won't hold his behavior against you, but I'm thinking I could really use something to drink."

"Right away, Tali. I'll see about getting you something when we get to this auditorium." Shepard looked behind them and realized that Manuel wasn't walking with them so much as following them. Shepard was put in mind of a lost puppy looking for its owner. A split second later the image of their small group as a herd of sheep with Manuel a wolf stalking them sprang to mind. Shepard was unsure why two such disparate images were occurring to him simultaneously, but they both felt strangely appropriate. Shepard had been finding explanations for the oddities they were encountering, trying to keep the mood positive and light. Now, Shepard's own tension climbed a notch.

Shepard noticed they were approaching a large set of doors flanked by two more security guards. He had not seen any sort of control consoles or apparent ship's crew. They seemed to be in an area given over entirely to use for meetings or trainings. Shepard turned to Dr. Warren as they approached the set of doors. "Dr. Warren, I would appreciate if you could provide some food and something to drink for Tali and me. It would be nice to have something while we are speaking with the other members of your group."

They paused at the set of doors as the guards came to attention. Dr. Warren turned to them, the corners of her mouth pulled down into a frown. "I'm so sorry Commander, Ms. Zorah, we didn't realize we would be having a Quarian as a guest. We don't have any dextro amino supplies on board and I'm afraid the food and beverages we have would be toxic for a Quarian. If you would like I could ask one of the crew to order some more appropriate food from somewhere on the Citadel?"

Shepard winced inwardly again and he felt his stomach churn. His joyful butterflies were nowhere to be found. He glanced sideways at Tali. He knew her well enough to read body language that others would miss. He saw her shoulders tense and she began fidgeting, tightening her fists. Her voice, though, revealed none of this. "Don't trouble yourself or your crew, Dr. Warren. The Commander has promised me dinner and I'm sure he will make good on that promise as soon as we are done here. In the meantime, if I get too hungry, I always carry nutrient paste with me."

Dr. Warren smiled and shrugged at this, turning back to open the doors to the auditorium. Shepard, on the other hand, flinched from the blow to his ego. The well-deserved blow, he amended to himself. Things were not going as well as he had hoped and it was his own doing. He had painted a picture in his mind of riding in a hero, accepting toasts to himself and Tali, and dispensing pearls of wisdom before sweeping Tali away to a private rendezvous. In creating that fantasy he had made more than one faulty assumption. And unlike Manuel's Liara faux pas, this one was entirely his fault. He had to fix this. "Tali, I am so sorry about this. It's entirely my fault for assuming they would have dextro supplies available. I swear I am going to make this up to you. I'll get us out of here as quickly as I can and then I am getting you the best meal we can find on the Citadel."

Tali cocked her head slightly as she looked toward Shepard. "I may not know about human dating, Shepard, but I can tell when things are not going according to plan." She reached and took hold of his hand. "The date isn't over yet, Shepard, and you've always been better scrambling to pick up the pieces of a wrecked plan than executing one that's been carefully laid out. To be honest I'm actually curious to see how you handle this. I imagine it can only get better from here."

Shepard couldn't help but smile at Tali's reaction. He was reminded how he always felt better when he talked with her. Apparently that was still true even when he was in the midst of letting her down. He would have said so, but they were interrupted by Dr. Warren. She had fully thrown open the set of double doors and was announcing to the room, "Friends, I present to you Commander John Shepard, bane of the Reapers and savior of us all and his loyal follower and companion, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya!"

Shepard was growing tired of wincing inwardly. That faux pas seemed minor in comparison, but they were piling up. Even if that name would be more familiar to these people from when she helped save the Citadel, she couldn't possibly enjoy correcting her name for these people, assuming she even bothered. Shepard's thoughts turned again to getting them out of this situation. Perhaps after some introductions he could find out who was funding and directing this group. Then he could share information and answer questions via e-mail. He wished now he had thought of that in the first place.

Shepard stepped up next to Dr. Warren, Tali at his side. He saw that they had entered a large room. To one side of the room there appeared to be a stage with chairs arrayed in front of it. At the moment, however, the small crowd of people in the room were standing in groups talking. At Dr. Warren's announcement and his appearance there was a split-second of silence before the entire assemblage broke into applause.

Shepard finally was able to give an inward sigh of relief. This was more what he had been hoping for. He waved to acknowledge the small crowd now expressing their appreciation. He held Tali's hand up as well, making sure everyone here knew that their applause was also for her.

After several seconds of this, Dr. Warren raised her hands to quiet the attendees. "Thank you all for being here. Our guest of honor has arrived and our keynote speech officially opening this conference will occur shortly. I invite all attendees to enjoy the appetizers and drinks. You are also welcome to meet Commander Shepard." Dr. Warren turned to Shepard. "I'd be happy to bring you something to eat and drink, Commander."

Shepard glanced over to Tali and shook his head at Dr. Warren. "No thank you, Diane. Since Tali isn't able to eat, neither will I, but thank you for the offer."

Dr. Warren frowned slightly and waved away what appeared to be a staff member who was bringing over a tray of hors d'oeuvres. "Of course, Commander. I hope you don't mind taking some time to meet some of the other members of our group. I have to admit they are fans of yours."

"I'm happy to meet with your members. I hope I can provide encouragement and answer questions. I should explain though that Tali and I can't stay for long. We have other plans to pursue this evening." Shepard looked over to Tali and smiled, however, Tali gave no acknowledgement. She was surveying the room, watching the crowd that was watching them. "I was hoping to learn more about your group. Who is financing you and more about what resources you can bring to bear in preparing for the Reapers. That should make it easier to keep contact by e-mail in the future and better coordinate our efforts."

"I couldn't agree more, Commander. I have a few things to prepare, so I will speak to you in a bit. In the meantime, there are a number of people waiting patiently to meet you. I'll return shortly."

Dr. Warren turned and stepped away, but was almost immediately replaced by a tall, thin man. Shepard could see others waiting behind this man. They appeared to have queued up to each wait their turn to meet him.

Shepard extended his hand to the man in front of him. "Hello, I'm Commander John Shepard. And you are…?"

The man just stared for several seconds. He looked at Shepard's outstretched hand. He reached for it, but hesitated. Finally, he took Shepard's hand with both his own. He bowed to Shepard and nearly touched his forehead to Shepard's hand. When he spoke, it was clear he was having difficulty getting the words out through his emotions. "Oh, Shepard. It is such a blessing to actually meet you. I never imagined I would have the honor of speaking with you. The things you've sacrificed to save us. I just…I wanted to express…I just wanted to thank you." The man bowed his head again to Shepard's hands.

"Um…you're welcome. But I wasn't fighting the Reapers and Geth alone. I had many allies helping in the fight, including the woman next to me. This is Tali'Zorah vas Normandy," Shepard chose to correct Dr. Warren himself rather than Tali being forced to do it. "I'm hoping that you're group will be new allies in the fight."

"We are at your service, Shepard. Like your followers before us we will walk the trail you blaze. You are the guide that lights the path forward. The North Star of our journey."

"Okay." Shepard realized he was becoming uncomfortable with the man's apparent adulation. Perhaps Tali had been right about these people's view of him. This did feel like it had quickly gone from admiration to adulation to canonization. Tali had not even reacted to the man's behavior. She simply stood looking at Shepard, her arms crossed in a way that made it clear she had pretty much expected this and was annoyed the Shepard was still figuring it out. "Okay, that's enough…" Shepard realized he still hadn't gotten the man's name. He also realized he didn't really want his name. He just wanted him to stop being so obsequious.

The man backed away, bowing the entire time, and two people, a man and a woman, immediately stepped up to Shepard. They both started talking at once. "Shepard, what you've done for humanity is amazing." "Shepard, thank you so much for saving us."

"Whoa, whoa. For god's sake, please slow down and tell me your names. Are you scientists or researchers as well?" That seemed unlikely to Shepard as these two appeared much too young to be doctors or professors.

The man and woman looked at each other a moment. The woman turned back to Shepard. "We're just…students…with Dr. Warren. We were thrilled when we were allowed to join this group. Our apologies, Shepard. We don't mean to overwhelm you, but it's not every day you meet someone who saved the whole galaxy, or his follower. We're all just so…excited…to have you here. This is an opportunity like no other. Please forgive us."

Shepard was overwhelmed. Mostly with frustration. These two had barely glanced at Tali and referred to her as his follower in a way that couldn't be interpreted as anything but dismissive. He glanced up at the rest of the people waiting near him. They were staring at him in wide-eyed awe. What appeared to be distinguished doctors and researchers gawking like teenagers waiting to meet their favorite band. He suddenly realized that none of them were asking him any questions about combatting the Reapers.

Shepard was slow, but he liked to think he did eventually figure things out. He had told himself he was bringing Tali here to connect with a new group that was willing to fight the Reapers, but he was also hoping for their praise and admiration. After all the doubt from the Council, the questioning of his sanity, dying for this damn fight, he thought he deserved to be recognized as the hero for a change. It had been selfish and he needed to stop trying to force it to work. The best thing he could do to show Tali he cared about her was to get her out of here and hope there was still a date left to salvage. Shepard turned to her to say as much, to get her out of this place, when Dr. Warren returned.

Dr. Warren took in the expression on Shepard's face and frowned. "Is everything okay, Shepard? I stepped away to make a few preparations and come back to find you looking extremely unhappy."

"Things are not okay, Diane. I think my presence here may be a bit too…disruptive for this conference. I think it would be best if Tali and I left and contacted you through e-mail to assist how we can." Shepard thought he heard an audible sigh of relief from Tali.

Dr. Warren looked alarmed. "Oh, my apologies, Shepard. These are good people, but they spend most of their time in laboratories. I'm afraid we're all a bit overwhelmed by your presence. I understand if you want to leave, but stay just a few moments longer. It would be an honor if you would join us in a toast. To the defeat of the Reapers. I think you'll agree that's a goal we all can and should commit to. Please stay for the toast and the keynote speech. Just a few more minutes of your time could mean so much to binding this group together and providing motivation to carry the fight forward. After that I'll personally escort you back onto the Citadel."

Shepard glanced at Tali, but she gave no indication of whether she would tolerate such a delay. He honestly did want this group to fight against the Reapers. They certainly needed as many as possible joining that fight. "Okay, Doctor. We'll stay for that long. In the interests of defeating the Reapers."

"Thank you so much, Shepard. You truly don't know what this means to us. How much this will help us in our cause. I know you don't want to drink since Tali is not able to join us, but I hope you'll make an exception for this one toast." Dr. Warren reached and took a drink from a tray and held it out to Shepard. He hesitated, then took it and looked around at the expectant faces surrounding him. He suddenly realized that he wasn't just joining them for a toast. They were expecting him to make the toast. Shepard knew he often got carried away making speeches. He could go on at length. Not this time. Not now. He simply said, "To unity, to defeating the Reapers, and to saving the galaxy" and tossed the drink back in one swallow, not even tasting it.

Dr. Warren took the glass from Shepard. "Thank you so much, Shepard. The keynote speech will be starting immediately. If you'll have a seat we'll proceed and then get you on your way."

Dr. Warren directed Shepard and Tali to a pair of seats in the first row, right in front of a speaker's lectern. The seats appeared to be simple folding chairs, easily stored and not terribly comfortable. Seating technology that had improved very little since cavemen had held their first seminar brainstorming how to make and control fire. Shepard noticed that the other attendees filed into the remaining chairs, but left room on either side and behind him and Tali. Good, he thought. Fewer people in the way when we make a run for it.

The lights in the conference room dimmed except for a light illuminating the lectern. Shepard's focus began to drift even before Dr. Warren had made her appearance. He was trying to plan how to redeem himself with Tali. Food, definitely, before any effort to be romantic. He had to reestablish the goodwill from earlier. Damn it, he cared about her. He wanted this to work. Recovering from how badly he had mishandled the evening would take effort. He had to do this right and the slight headache that had started up wasn't helping. Or the mild nausea. Probably from drinking on an empty stomach. It was making him feel a bit light-headed. He refocused on where he might take Tali. Perhaps that sushi place that he had seen advertised, although the thought of sushi immediately made his stomach churn. It occurred to him that perhaps his butterflies were pissed with him too. It didn't matter. He had done so much to derail this evening that he'd be damned if he let a sudden illness make him throw in the towel. He'd make it up to Tali. Tonight. Just as soon as he figured out how. He was so focused on this question that he was startled when the hall was suddenly plunged into darkness.

Shepard tensed for action. He'd seen, been in, too many situations where darkness was a prelude to danger. He listened for any indication of such danger as he reached over and took Tali's hand. He squeezed it gently and was reassured that she returned the gesture. The darkness and silence hung in the room for several seconds before a voice broke that silence.

"In the beginning there was darkness." Shepard recognized the voice and was surprised that what was shaping up to be a theatrical keynote address was being delivered by Manuel rather than Dr. Warren. Shepard would not have expected such an…eccentric individual to be the speaker for any group wanting to be taken seriously. Manuel continued. "Out of that darkness emerged the light." As Manuel delivered these words a single light, illuminating the lectern, grew brighter. Manuel stood at the lectern, delivering an oration that already felt more like a sermon to Shepard than a speech. He wore a brilliant white lab coat, brand new and perfectly pressed, that glowed in the growing light. "That light grew into knowledge, intelligence, dreams, imagination, beauty…love. It grew until…" Manuel suddenly slammed his hand palm down onto the lectern. The amplified impact sounded like a thunderclap through the room. "The demons lurking in the darkness snuffed the light. Again. And again. And again. And again." With each repetition, Manuel brought his hand crashing down. His voice and the crack of his palm seemed to be the only sounds in the room. Shepard couldn't help but think that however unbalanced Manuel might be, he certainly had his audience's attention. If only the noise weren't aggravating his headache.

Manuel continued. "This cycle, this story, had repeated itself across the centuries, millennia, eons. Eternal. Unbreakable." Manuel raised his hand for another blow, but it did not slam down. He held it there for a handful of seconds. He looked up at his own hand and jerked with surprise. "But then, something truly miraculous occurred. The light of humanity, next in a long line to be snuffed out, instead survived. A hero had seized the stylus from god's hand and rewritten the tale, altered a narrative that could not be altered. In so doing, this Savior had shown us the way."

The light that illuminated Manuel suddenly shifted. Shepard found himself and Tali at the center of the light with the rest of the hall in darkness. As bad as the earlier darkness was, this was worse. The rest of the hall was dark while he and Tali sat in stark illumination, highlighted targets for any lurking danger. A realization pushed through Shepard's growing headache and nausea. He realized that at some point he had begun thinking of this situation in terms of potential threats, but had been ignoring those instincts. Those instincts were screaming at him now. He looked now to see what might stand between them and the exit, but the light was blinding him to where anything else in the room might be. It suddenly dawned on him that it could be intentional.

Tali suddenly grasped Shepard's hand more tightly. She shifted her feet on the floor, pressing and sliding them against the surface of the deck. She leaned in close to Shepard, placing her head on his shoulder and looking up into his eyes. Quietly, she whispered to him, "Shepard, this ship's engines are powering up."

Shepard couldn't feel anything different, but knew he would be a fool to doubt Tali. A bigger fool than he already was. Too trusting, he thought to himself. Manuel had continued, no longer a keynote speaker, but a preacher exhorting his followers. "He had shown us the way! Seize the narrative! Make the story your own! He was our guide and protector! Shepard to our flock! But, when the wolves howl and circle in the dark, it is sometimes the Shepard that must be sacrificed that the flock might live."

Manuel had taken almost an apologetic tone with that last statement. A fact that did nothing to reassure Shepard. It had finally worked its way through into his awareness that he had ignored Tali's warnings and led the woman he cared about straight into a den of fanatics. Worse, he had trapped them there until they acted. He also realized that, blind or not, they had to make a run for it. He surged to his feet, intent on battering through anyone and anything that stood between him and the exit, intending to make a path for Tali. Instead, the room began to spin about and his nausea surged. He dropped to his knees, realizing how completely he had misjudged the situation. Realizing he had been poisoned. He had lost Tali's hand as he fell. He heard her cry his name and he looked up, reaching for her. She was reaching to take his hand, to drag him out of this place when she was struck by a burst of electrical energy. Tali jerked and collapsed back into the chair she had risen from, stunned or worse. The lights came up in the room and Shepard saw through the haze of his dizziness that the various attendees were kneeling, heads bowed and fists held to their chests. All except the trio of guards that now approached him and Tali.

Shepard heard Manuel speaking again, directing. "Gently now, brothers. The ceremony of our ascension cannot proceed without the proper offering."


	4. Chapter 4 - Mutual Support

Chapter 4 – Mutual Support

Shepard was on his knees at Tali's feet, clenched in a tight ball as waves of nausea and weakness washed over him. His head was throbbing. Tali had collapsed in her chair after being struck by some kind of targeted electrical discharge. Shepard couldn't see the glowing points that would have indicated her eyes were open. He fervently hoped she was not injured, or worse, but had no way to immediately check. He looked up from his hunched position and saw that three guards in light armor were approaching. They carried holstered pistols, but one carried an unusual rifle. The analytical part of Shepard's brain was glad for the distraction from his sickness and immediately set about identifying the weapon. A Rheinmetall electrical stun rifle manufactured by Wegner Arms. A non-lethal weapon not too dissimilar from the Arc Projector, though lacking the arc function and ineffective against shielded enemies. Shepard knew he was looking at the weapon that had incapacitated Tali and immediately wanted to shatter it across the smirking face of the guard holding it. The guards didn't seem to be in any hurry, chatting with each other and laughing as they prepared to take Shepard and Tali into their custody at the direction of Manuel.

Manuel had remained at the lectern to direct the guards, his voice strident with what Shepard finally recognized as religious fervor. "Shepard was on his knees, appearing almost in prayer as the powerful sedative he had ingested overwhelmed him. He thought still of fighting, of somehow resisting even as his follower lay helpless next to him, incapacitated by the guards that now moved to take them into custody. Shepard looked about, desperate, but finally realized his helplessness to prevent whatever fate awaited him."

'What the fuck', Shepard thought to himself. He realized Manuel wasn't directing the guards. The lunatic was _narrating_ the events unfolding before him. Shepard glanced to the other attendees and saw they were watching the events, enraptured. Manuel was narrating the events for his flock even as they stood nearby, passive observers of this drama. Shepard eyed the guards, using his nausea and sickness to appear as unthreatening as possible. Mentally, he kicked himself again. He had walked himself and Tali straight into this situation. Now he had to find a way out, somehow. He struggled to come up with alternatives through the haze of his headache. If he could surprise these guards, incapacitate them, take their weapons, he might yet be able to get them out of this. Irritation was added to the mix as he realized he was acting out Manuel's words. All but those last words he decided, gritting his teeth with both sickness and determination.

Shepard moaned as pathetically as he could as two of the guards bent down and grasped his upper arms. "Not so tough now, are you? I expected more of a fight from such a legend." Shepard intended to give the guards just that, if he could manage it.

The guards hoisted Shepard to his feet by his upper arms. He waited until the last possible moment as the guards were lifting him, then struck with as much speed and force as he could muster. He twisted his right arm free and put his strength behind an uppercut, aiming to take one of the guards heads off or at least break his jaw.

Shepard felt like he was punching underwater. The guard easily recognized his attack and deflected the blow, twisting Shepard's arm painfully for good measure. "Whoa, nice try. That's more like the hero in the stories we've been told."

The other guard chimed in as he reclaimed Shepard's arm. "I'm surprised he's still putting up a fight. The sedative the doctor gave him would have put down an Elcor."

The guard's words confirmed what Shepard already knew, what Manuel had just stated. He had been poisoned by his hosts. Dr. Chakwas had once explained to him that with so much synthetic tissue in his body his remaining organic tissue would be more vulnerable to concentrations of toxins. Fortunately, Cerberus had recognized this danger when they rebuilt him and had taken steps to engineer his liver and kidneys to quickly scrub such toxins from his system. Shepard didn't understand the biology, but he knew he could resist more than they expected, recover faster than they expected, if he could just buy time.

Manuel was continuing his narration. "Commander Shepard, always the hero, always the savior of the day, lashed out feebly. Only then did he realize how weak he had become. How his once formidable strength and wit had deserted him. That he and his follower had succumbed to an enemy they could not defeat and would be taken to the fate that awaited them."

The third guard slung his rifle and hoisted Tali out of her chair. He was easily lifting her around her waist with Tali hanging limply in front of him, her arms and legs dangling toward the deck. "Huh, this one's so light. Are we taking them to medical or the brig?"

Shepard felt a surge of anger as the guard carelessly dragged Tali out of the chair and dangled her in front of him. It felt as if Manuel was taunting him with his running commentary and it was pissing him off. As he sagged in the grip of the two guards he recognized his weapons and options were few, but whether from hope of escape or sheer defiance he would use what weapons he had. Turning his head to his right he looked the guard holding that arm in the eyes and stopped fighting his nausea. He let it take hold and do what it had been demanding to do. Perhaps, he realized, it would help him purge the poison more quickly as well.

Shepard had not eaten or drunk much over the course of the day. This resulted in less…volume…than he had hoped. A part of him wished he had gorged himself on Sergeant Gardner's calamari gumbo. Nonetheless, it achieved the desired effect. Shepard vomited a stinging mass of bile, stomach acid, and poisoned alcohol directly into the eyes of the guard.

"Shit!" the guard shouted as he released Shepard's arm and stepped back, wiping at his burning eyes. Shepard had hoped the other guard would be distracted and give him an opening to attack, but that guard immediately punched him in the gut with his free hand, dropping Shepard back to his knees. Shepard finished heaving what little had been in his stomach onto the deck.

"Don't try that shit with me, Shepard. You try anything else and I'll…"

Shepard was never sure what the guard was going to threaten. His words were interrupted by a sudden scream from the guard holding Tali. The guard dropped Tali to the deck, staggering back. He collapsed, clutching at his left knee. Between his clasped hands protruded Tali's knife that she typically wore at her ankle. Shepard realized that as she had hung in the guard's grip she had slipped the knife from its sheath and thrust it between the gaps in the armor plates, piercing the guard's knee as cleanly as an arrow. Even before she had hit the deck Tali was already keying commands into her omni-tool.

The entire room seemed to hesitate at the sudden turn of events. All but Manuel, who was practically leaping up and down and shrieking as he continued his narration. "BUT NO! A true hero cannot succumb, nor could his trusted follower. They fight on, defying the efforts of the faithful to seize the narrative! But the faithful know they must not falter if salvation is to be gained! The Shepard must be subdued and taken to the fate that awaits him!"

The assembled attendees were no soldiers. They hesitated, unsure if Manuel was ordering them to subdue Shepard themselves or even how to go about doing that. In that moment a large, glowing purple orb manifested behind the guard who had just finished wiping Shepard's vomit from his eyes. Blue electrical discharges arced from the orb into the guard. He grunted and staggered under the surprise attack, falling to the deck. The orb turned toward the assembled attendees and seemed to regard them with malevolence. After a moment of pause it raced at them, emitting bursts of ear-splitting electronic screeching as it charged, wreathed in electrical energy.

The attendees shifted from hesitation to outright panic at the sudden onslaught. They began screaming and stampeding toward the double doors that served as the primary entrance to the auditorium. The guard looming over Shepard looked from the unfolding chaos to Tali, recognizing her as the source of the attack. He drew his pistol and aimed it at her, intent on ending her interference. Despite the guard's earlier warning, Shepard knew this was exactly his moment to try something.

Shepard still felt weak and dizzy, but he had good leverage from his knees. He pivoted, driving his elbow up and back with all the strength he could muster from his Cerberus enhanced muscles. He still felt slow and clumsy, but the guard's focus was on Tali now. The impact crushed the guard's armored codpiece into his groin. Shepard earnestly hoped he had injured everything the piece of armor was intended to protect. The volume and pitch of the guard's shriek suggested he had. The guard dropped his pistol and fell whimpering to his knees, then to his side, his knees drawn up and his hands cupped around his injury.

Shepard seized the guard's fallen pistol, a Predator model, and smashed him across the temple with the weapon. The guard sprawled on the deck, sufficiently dazed from the combination of blows that Shepard hoped he would not be a further threat. He turned to the guard that he had vomited on and found he was still lying on the deck, stunned or worse by Tali's drone. Shepard tried to turn back toward the guard Tali had stabbed through the knee, but the multiple rapid movements caught up with him and the room kept spinning.

The final guard had recovered enough of his wits to fight back and was fumbling for his pistol. Shepard struggled to focus well enough to aim, his pistol wavering as he tried to point it in the general direction of the guard. Fortunately, Tali had glanced up from her prone position working on her omni-tool and recognized the danger. She rolled onto her hip and pivoted, kicking the knife that still protruded from the guard's knee, eliciting a fresh shout of pain and ruining his efforts to draw and aim his pistol. She rocked up to a crouching position and sprang on the guard. She thrust her omni-tool against his exposed neck and triggered an electrical discharge. The guard spasmed once before sagging into unconsciousness.

"The battle rages! Chaos grips the auditorium! The faithful flee the onslaught, colliding with each other in their haste to exit, blocking the soldiers from coming to the aid of the faithful, from completing the task of apprehending the Shepard! But this can only delay the inevitable! The Shepard cannot flee, so must eventually, dramatically, fall and BE TAKEN TO THE FATE THAT AWAITS HIM!"

Manuel was continuing his narration of the action, sounding more and more frantic and insistent as the unfolding events refused to conclude as he described. Shepard was grateful for the information that, at least for the moment, whatever reinforcements were coming to help were being blocked by the attendees who were trying to flee the room. It was clear to Shepard that Manuel was the one directing this group. Manuel remained at his lectern, detached from the drama unfolding in front of him even as he shouted descriptions of it. As if he were watching a sporting event rather than a life or death struggle he had triggered. 'Time for a reality check, Manuel', Shepard thought to himself as he held the pistol in both hands, struggling to steady his aim, and pulled the trigger.

"The Shepard pointed his wavering pistol in Manuel's direction, perhaps believing he could seize back control of his story! His arm wavered. He knew there was no chance he would hit his targAGH!" Manuel shrieked as the shot tore through his forearm. As a second shot hit the lectern he looked about, his eyes wide with…Shepard wasn't sure what. Confusion, or fear, he decided. As Shepard's third shot went wide, Manuel leapt from the stage and rushed into the crowd of people forcing their way out the door. In the uniform sea of lab coats, Shepard lost track of him almost immediately. He could fire into the crowd in hopes of hitting Manuel, but realized he didn't have it in him to shoot fleeing civilians, even fanatics such as these.

Tali pulled her knife from the unconscious guard's knee and relieved him of his pistol. She hurried to Shepard's side and began checking him for any injuries, but he interrupted her. "I'm not hurt, Tali. Just drugged. I should recover once we get out of here."

Tali placed an arm around Shepard and began helping him to his feet. "As exciting as this date has been, Shepard, would you mind if we called it an evening?" Even through his dizziness and nausea, Shepard couldn't help but smile and appreciate that her first words weren't "I told you so".

"Of course, m'lady. Would you allow me to escort you away from these ruffians?" Shepard glanced at the crush of people at the main doors. He could just see the helmeted heads of additional guards trying to clear the doorway and enter the room. Shepard's knees chose that moment to try to buckle and he had to catch himself, with assistance from Tali.

Tali braced the larger Shepard to prevent him from toppling. "Maybe it would be better if I escorted you". She glanced toward the main doors as well, "but not that way." Tali turned with Shepard and headed for the opposite wall. As Tali braced Shepard to help him, he felt a tingle along his skin that told him Tali had active shields. He recalled that her suit had shields of its own and was grateful she at least was prepared for more than dinner and dancing.

"Where are we going, Tali? We have to get to the exit and get off this ship before they fly out of here with us."

"It's too late for that, Shepard. This ship is already heading away from the Citadel and likely toward the mass relay. They declared a reactor emergency and got immediate clearance. Citadel control can't take a chance that a ship's reactor might go critical close to the Citadel."

"We have to get a message out. Let C-Sec or the Normandy know what's really going on." Shepard reached to activate his omni-tool even as Tali finished dragging him to a closed door in the far wall.

"No good, Shepard. Military grade hardware also means military grade jamming. I think they're blocking communications within the ship. C-Sec might notice if they were jamming communications in local space. Our only chance is to get off this ship and clear of the jamming before they take us through the relay to who knows where."

Given her experience aboard the Migrant Fleet, Shepard had no doubt that Tali was well versed in the protocols for ship movements in populated systems. With a moment to breathe, he asked a question that sprang to mind the moment Tali had stabbed the guard. "How did you recover from that electrical attack, Tali? I thought you were unconscious."

"I work with power conduits and capacitors every day, Shepard. My suit is well insulated against electrical discharges." Tali was keying more commands into her omni-tool as she stood before the closed door.

"So, you were faking then? You had me totally fooled. Well done."

"I learned that one from you, Shepard. When you know you're weak, appear weaker, that way when you strike you will at least be stronger than your enemy expects."

Tali recited it like a lesson she had studied. Shepard recalled the topic coming up among the many things he had discussed. He hadn't realized how thoroughly she had taken the lessons to heart. He recalled learning the lesson himself from Sergeant "Red" Green. His motto had been "Quando omni flunkus moritati. _When all else fails, play dead._ " The pseudo-latin made it sound fancy, but the advice was practical. He had tried to pull that trick himself, less successfully. If Tali hadn't thought to do it, they would likely already be captured.

Shepard looked back toward the main entryway and saw that the press of people had nearly cleared. The guards were seconds from breaking past the scientists and either capturing or shooting them. A handful of shots, warning shots Shepard decided, struck the wall above them.

"Where are we going, Tali? The guards will be on us in seconds."

"I hacked their computer network. Key systems are protected, but I can access low priority systems and local software. I also accessed the ship schematics. Earlier I saw them bringing food in through this door. They've locked it down, but if I can access the control mechanism I can get us out of this room."

Shepard looked back at the main entryway again, just in time to see half a dozen guards burst into the room as the last few scientists fled. The guards now had a clear line of fire, but seemed to hesitate. Shepard fired in their direction, still too muzzy to aim accurately. He failed to hit anything, but his effort bought Tali precious seconds as the guards were forced to take cover from Shepard's fire. Shepard could see that two of the guards had the stun rifles that had been used on Tali. "The guards are coming, Tali. It's now or never." As he said this, Shepard saw that the stun rifles were being brought to bear. He fired again, hoping to disrupt their aim. The guards fired and Tali's shields flashed blue, easily dissipating an electrical burst. A second shot struck the wall near Shepard creating a shower of sparks.

With a hiss, the unobtrusive door suddenly slid sideways into the wall, revealing a hallway. "Follow me, Shepard, up this hallway to the left." Tali hurried into the hallway intending to get them through the door and away from the threat behind them. As she stepped into the hallway and turned she was struck by multiple shots from guards waiting in ambush. Her shields were overwhelmed and collapsed from the multiple hits. Shepard saw her flinch as shots struck her suit.

Shepard didn't think. Hell, he almost couldn't think. But he had realized something about the guards. At least he thought he had. He jammed the Predator pistol into his belt and leapt clumsily through the door, slapping the door control to close the door behind them and turning to put himself between Tali and the guards. He spread his arms out, giving her as much cover as he could. He would quickly find out if his realization was correct. As he stood between the guards and Tali he shouted, "Chosen one here! Don't shoot the chosen one! The gods will smite you if you shoot!"

A moment later Shepard had not been riddled with shots, much to his relief. He could see no more than three guards ahead of them, using an intersection in the hallway for cover. They did not seem to have any of the stun rifles to his even greater relief. He could hear Tali behind him, working in the cover he was providing. He dared not look back to check on her for fear of breaking whatever spell was holding the guards ahead of him at bay. He repeated his admonition. "No…shooting…the…chosen…one!"

"Are you starting to believe your own hype, Shepard? We don't want to kill you, but we will take you down if you don't surrender now." Shepard heard none of the deference or religious fervor he had heard from Manuel. Shepard revised his conclusions about how the guards might behave, but he couldn't change course now. He had to brazen this out and hope that Tali could pull something off. He stood his ground and held his position guarding Tali, arms outstretched.

The guards ahead apparently decided they had waited long enough. A shot rang out in the hallway and Shepard grunted as he felt a sharp pain in his right bicep. Maybe the guards wouldn't kill him, but at least one of them had decided shooting to wound was acceptable. If the others joined in he would be down in seconds. Shepard was struggling to come up with options when he heard Tali say, "Hold your breath".

There had been no second shot, yet. Shepard didn't know what Tali was about to attempt, but he hoped it would be dramatic. He trusted her to have a plan and played his act to the hilt. "SO BE IT! You have chosen divine retribution!" Shepard did as Tali said and took a deep breath, bringing his hands together in a loud, dramatic clap as he did so. Suddenly, the hallway rapidly filled with powerful bursts of white gas that sprayed from recessed nozzles in the ceiling. Shepard recognized that Tali had triggered the ship's fire suppression system. Given the danger of uncontrolled fire aboard a spaceship the chemicals would drop the oxygen concentration in the area to near zero almost instantly. Any fire would be quickly snuffed out and then anyone caught unprepared or, even worse, accidentally inhaling the chemicals could then be safely treated. Shepard could hear coughing and stumbling coming from ahead of them in the hallway as the guards were hit with the unexpected attack that Shepard had "summoned".

"We've got to move, Shepard. We've got to go down one deck to reach some of the ship's escape pods. If we can get clear of the ship's jamming we can get a message out using the pod's emergency transmitter."

Shepard nodded, his cheeks puffed out with the breath he was holding. His eyes watered from the chemicals in the air. He raised a questioning eyebrow and gestured at her suit with a pointed finger. "I'm okay, Shepard. My suit is pretty durable and thankfully their shots didn't penetrate. I've switched to a limited internal air supply, so the gas isn't an issue. I could even handle limited exposure to vacuum if it comes to that." Shepard would have breathed a sigh of relief if he could. Fortunately for them both the Predator wasn't exactly known for its penetrating power. His own wound hurt almost as much as his head and he could see a small amount of blood staining the dark material of his suit, but the synthetic weave throughout his skin had reduced the severity of the damage to his arm. Tending it could wait at least a little while. He put his unhurt arm around Tali's shoulders as she slipped her arm around his waist to support him. Under better circumstances he would have relished the closeness. As it was he had to hobble forward, cradling his injured arm and hoping his strength would be sufficient to reach the escape pod. They stumbled together through the white haze of chemicals, Shepard holding his breath.

They reached the intersection where the guards had been lurking and saw one guard collapsed on the deck, unconscious. It appeared the others had been forced to withdraw by the sudden chemical assault. Tali turned to a narrow shaft next to an elevator across from the fallen guard. "We'd better avoid the elevator. I may not be able to prevent them from stopping it or sending it to a deck with guards waiting for us. I'll send the elevator to the upper deck and put an alert into their system that we were seen heading for the bridge." Tali rapidly keyed commands into her omni-tool. A few moments more and she summoned a drone, which floated down the shaft to the deck below. "The deck below us is clear for the moment. The air is clear there as well. Can you make it down the ladder, Shepard?"

Shepard wasn't at all sure that he could. It felt like he was a bit less dizzy and nauseous, but that didn't mean he felt ready for athletics, especially with his injured arm. He didn't have much choice though. Going down the ladder was his only option to quickly reach fresh air and he couldn't hold his breath much longer. He took hold of the rung with his good arm and stepped onto the ladder. He began lowering himself a rung at a time toward the next deck.

Shepard was nearly there when he made a mistake. He looked down to see how many more rungs he needed to traverse and found himself staring down the narrow shaft for several more decks. The view would normally have been no problem for a seasoned spacer like Shepard, but between the lingering nausea, injury, and vertigo inducing view he found himself suddenly dizzy again. His good hand slipped off the rung he had been grasping and he began to fall toward the bottom of the emergency shaft.

As he began to fall, Shepard's slip spun him so that his back was to the ladder. He realized that with his injured arm and weakness he had no chance of catching himself before he fell the half dozen decks to the bottom of the shaft, so he didn't try. Instead, as he began to fall past the opening to the next deck, he kicked backward with his legs, pushing off from the ladder and wall and flying through the opening and onto the deck. Shepard landed heavily on his chest and stomach, knocking the breath he had been holding from his body with a loud gasp.

Shepard lay on the deck, heaving in great breaths of clean air and trying to focus. If there had been any guards present they could have easily subdued him, but fortunately the only thing waiting for him was Tali's drone. It hovered nearby in silence, though Shepard was certain it would be frowning or laughing at his pathetic display if it could. As he dragged himself to his knees Tali slid into view on the ladder before gracefully dismounting through the opening and landing next to Shepard, her agility making him feel that much more pathetic.

"Are you all right, Shepard?" Tali knelt and touched his shoulder to encourage and comfort him as he struggled to his hands and knees, coughing.

"Just dandy, Tali. Fresh as the daisies I feel like I'm pushing up."

"Good, I guess?" Tali seemed confused by Shepard's convoluted human euphemism, but accepted it meant Shepard would survive. "The escape pods are just over there. We've got to move fast before they realize where we are and send people to stop us."

"Won't they lock down the escape pods?" Shepard struggled to his feet and was stumbling toward the pods with Tali's support.

"Escape pods always have a manual override. If there's a computer malfunction or pirates or slavers take over the ship they don't want people trapped with no means of escape. I can get us off this ship, Shepard."

They reached a row of escape pods in the time it took Tali to complete her explanation. Shepard braced himself against the bulkhead. Tali twisted a handle and the entry hatch hissed open immediately. Shepard began to insist that Tali enter first, but she interrupted him. "I appreciate your sense of gallantry, Shepard, but with your injury I need to help you in and make sure you're secure. Now go." Tali took Shepard's good arm and directed him into the pod, glancing up and down the hallway as she did so.

Shepard frowned to himself at his continuing infirmity. His arm was bleeding more after his fall and was throbbing worse now than his head. He struggled into the pod and sagged into a seat, suppressing his embarrassment in favor of her practicality. He glanced around the pod for the promised medical kit.

Tali leapt into the pod and triggered the hatch to close as fresh gunfire ricocheted from the bulkhead where she had been standing moments before. She reached to an emergency equipment cabinet and withdrew a helmet and medical kit. She knelt in front of Shepard and handed him the gear.

"Put on the helmet and activate the emergency vacc suit while I get us out of here. I don't want to take any chances with your safety."

"Or yours, Tali." As he took the gear, Shepard noticed her clasp. His breath caught as he noticed that one of the shots that struck Tali had been deflected by the clasp. The Bulotha portrayed there would graze forevermore without a head. Shepard reached out and touched the clasp and met Tali's gaze. "I am so sorry, Tali. I have so much to make up to you when we get out of this."

Tali reached up and took Shepard's hand. She held his hand for just a moment before standing up. "We can worry about that when we do get out of this. Please, put the gear on. I'll get us out of here."

She turned to the pod's controls and Shepard hoped he could find some way to make this up to her. But she was right. Shepard looked at the helmet. It was a piece of compact emergency gear that was typical for life pods. The helmet contained a pack with air canisters and omni-gel. He put the helmet on and triggered the omni-gel, which immediately spread itself into a thin layer over his body, forming an emergency evacuation suit that now covered him from helmet to toes. Heated by a battery in the helmet and with air and pressure provided by the canisters now attached to his back, the suit would protect its wearer in the vacuum of space for at least a little while. Shepard hoped that it wouldn't come to that. He was about to say as much to Tali when he was thrown sideways in his seat by the acceleration of the pod as it blasted away from the ship.

Tali immediately began an emergency broadcast. "Emergency transmission to C-Sec and the SSV Normandy. This is…AGGHHH, Keelah!" Tali had barely begun her broadcast when there was a deafening burst of feedback through the communications system. A cacophony of messages began overlapping each other. Shepard for a moment could make out a child like voice asking questions, another voice snarling and threatening, even a cake recipe before the garble became overwhelming. Tali kept trying to send out a signal, but turned to Shepard. "They may not be able to jam us now, but they've launched the other escape pods and are using their transmitters to blanket the emergency channel with so many messages that ours is getting swamped. Even if our message gets through, C-Sec will never understand it in time." Tali turned back to the controls, rapidly keying in commands. As Shepard watched, an escape pod sailed past the side observation port, barely two meters away.

Shepard felt helpless to affect the situation. He turned to what he could do, which was treat his poisoning and injury. He looked at the kit Tali had handed him with its red cross within a white circle, a medical symbol that had remained consistent for humanity across the centuries. Shepard was about to inject a dose of medi-gel through the evacuation suits system when the pod was rocked by a powerful blast.

Tali checked the information that the pod's limited sensors could provide while simultaneously working with the communication system, trying to reach someone, anyone, who might be able to help. Tali cocked her head, listening. "They're declaring that their computer has gone berserk and is firing on anything near the ship. With the escape pods launched, rescue ships were trying to move in, now they can't. They've even blown up a few of the empty pods. If they create enough chaos they can retrieve us themselves and get away. At least we can be sure now that they aren't trying to kill us…well, you."

Shepard snapped his fingers and blurted out a frequency. "Can you send a message on that frequency, now?"

Tali didn't question, she just worked with the limited equipment to get a message out on the frequency Shepard specified. "Message sent, Shepard, but what was the point of that? That frequency isn't one used by…"

At that moment the downside of creating chaos became evident. Things become chaotic. The force of a nearby missile detonation forced one of the escape pods to collide with Tali and Shepard's pod. The impact shattered the side viewport and fractured the pod's hull. Shepard watched helplessly as in barely a second the pod cracked apart like a dropped egg, the atmosphere of the pod blasting into space. Shepard bounced in his restraints, the unused medical kit spinning out of his hands and into space. A moment later and he was bludgeoned by large pieces of hull, from which craft he had no idea. The impact ripped him, restraints and all, straight from his seat. He suddenly found himself gasping as the canisters of air that had been attached to the back of his suit were torn free in the impact and rocketed off in their own direction, powered by the pressurized air escaping through their damaged connectors.

As the air that had been in his suit escaped through the sudden tears dropping the oxygen and pressure to near zero, the only thing that went through Shepard's mind was 'Oh no, not again'. He immediately exhaled what air he had in his lungs and looked about frantically. The pod had come apart and the cabinet that had held the emergency vacc suits was nowhere to be seen. Shepard was drifting in space among the remaining fragments of the pod. The omni-gel of his suit had almost immediately begun knitting together to repair the tears, but with his air supply now on its own journey into the vastness of space there was no way to restore the suits pressure and oxygen. Even with his enhancements he had less than thirty seconds until he was unconscious and no more than a few minutes until he was dead.

Shepard realized that if he did die now it would be with so many regrets. Regret that he had not stopped the Collectors. Regret that he had failed his crew. Regret that he had failed to tell Tali…anything really…of how he truly felt about her. He looked about frantically again. Not for any source of rescue, he knew any of the pod's supplies that might have saved him were beyond reach. He wanted to know that Tali was still alive. That she might still be rescued, that she wasn't going to be a casualty of his stupidity. He tried to activate the limited communications his helmet provided, but found only static.

Shepard's eye was caught by purposeful movement among the random drifting and spinning pieces of debris. Tali was clinging to a large chunk of control console, now dark and powerless. She appeared to be searching the debris as well, her head turning until she paused, looking in Shepard's direction. She launched herself from the console, floating generally toward Shepard. As she got nearer her path intersected with another large piece of drifting debris. She folded herself into a ball, tumbling past the debris, then kicking backwards, using the debris to adjust her course and get closer to Shepard. Shepard watched her progress, impressed by her nearly balletic movements as she maneuvered gracefully through the field of debris. Even as his vision began to gray out he realized he should have expected her skill in zero-g. She had likely had a lifetime of practice aboard the migrant fleet.

Tali drew close, intersecting with a small, tumbling piece of Shepard's broken seat. She grabbed this and hurled it away, using this to shift her momentum just enough that she reached Shepard, grabbing his shoulders and wrapping her legs around the small of his back for stability. They began slowly tumbling together.

The edges of Shepard's vision had gone black. Tali had released Shepard's shoulders and was keying commands into her omni-tool, continuing to hold onto him with her legs. He wished she would stop her fussing. If this was his last moment he wanted to spend it holding her, looking at her. That would be a worthy memory to take to whatever fate awaited him.

Suddenly, the sense of expanding, that his body and lungs wanted to explode, abated. Shepard felt air force its way into his nose and mouth allowing him a breath, then another. As he sucked in the precious air, he realized he was detecting a faint scent, a scent he had experienced once before, on Ilium. He couldn't describe it, but it was comforting, pleasing, familiar. It was her.

Even as he struggled with his fading consciousness, Shepard realized what had occurred. 'No, no, she's linked our suits', he thought. She was sharing what limited air she had to keep him alive. Putting herself at risk of either suffocation or a potentially lethal allergic reaction to save him. Ever since their conversation in engineering he had dreamed that someday they might choose to take such a step together, but not like this, not at this potential cost. Shepard reached up and took her shoulders, feebly pushing her away. The message of his actions was clear, 'let me go and save yourself, survive'. Tali locked her legs more tightly around Shepard, shaking her head, her actions giving just as clear a response. 'No.'

Tali reached to her omni-tool and triggered a command. A beacon on Shepard's vacc suit activated, sending out a bright visual pulse and radio signal to help with rescue. Shepard knew there was only one ship close enough to rescue them quickly. He looked in the direction Tali had turned her head and saw the Pilgrim's Progress, Manuel's ship, drawing near. He looked from the ship to the space around them and finally back to Tali. 'You, me, a passing ship, and the vast expanse of the nebula', Shepard thought. 'We made it, but it's not quite as romantic as I had hoped.' Tali took hold of Shepard's head and placed her helmet against his. She held him that way as he finally succumbed to his injuries, falling into darkness.


	5. Chapter 5 - Unreliable Narrator

Chapter 5 – Unreliable Narrator

As Shepard struggled back to consciousness, he realized that, with a good deal of help, he had cheated death yet again. Temporarily at least. _Death: 1, Me: more than I can count. Gods, I really need to not make this a habit,_ Shepard thought, reminded of waking in a similar fashion after the destruction of the original Normandy at the hands of the Collectors. He fervently hoped that was where the similarities ended. He feigned continued unconsciousness, breathing slowly, gathering what information he could through his other senses before daring to open his eyes and signal to whomever might be watching that he was awake. He fought the powerful urge to launch himself from his prone position and confront whatever he found.

The air carried the cool sterility of recycling and filtration. And little else. No telltale odors to signal where he might be or what was around him. He felt no vibrations through the padded surface on which he lay. None of the subtle shifts or tremors that would indicate a ship operating under power. An unpowered ship then, he decided, or a base of some sort. Shepard listened intently for several seconds, but heard nothing of significance that might give him clues to his surroundings. He mentally scanned his own body. His nausea had faded to a distant discomfort, as had his headache. His right arm ached where he had been shot during his and Tali's attempted escape, but that pain too had faded to a background soreness. As far as he could tell he was physically well enough. He shifted very slightly, testing to see if there were any restraints holding him. Something _was_ different. He could feel a slight pressure on his left wrist, like a bracelet or manacle, though it did not seem to be restricting his movement.

Shepard took another slow breath. He hadn't learned much from his efforts, but he was sure of one thing. _I can't sense Tali._ With that realization, anxiety began to strain his cultivated calm. She had given everything to save them both and nearly pulled it off. His last conscious memory was of her linking their suits to save him, risking herself to spare him a second painful death from vacuum exposure. Of her refusing to let him go. Shepard's fists clenched at the thought of her paying the price for his stupidity. Time to stop playing opossum and find out what was going on.

Shepard opened his eyes to slits. He found himself looking up at moderately bright recessed lighting. A bare metal ceiling surrounded the lights and led into equally uninspiring bare metal walls. Shepard heard a slight cough to his right, a dozen feet away. It sounded like the sort of polite, attention getting noise one would expect in a library or shopping kiosk. Shepard angled his head slightly to identify the source and saw that Manuel was standing on the far side of a set of bars.

Manuel was looking at him, was clearly aware that Shepard was awake. _So much for being sneaky,_ he thought. Shepard moved quickly, suddenly sitting upright and swinging his legs over and down to the floor. He sat on the edge of a metal frame, bolted to a bare metal floor, supporting a thin pad on which he had been laying. He hoped his sudden movement coupled with the genuinely murderous look he was aiming toward Manuel would intimidate the unimposing scientist and help him find or force a way out of this situation.

Manuel appeared unimpressed by Shepard's efforts, clearly believing himself protected by the bars that made up the fourth wall of Shepard's small room. _No, cell,_ he corrected. Shepard rose slowly to his feet and completed his inspection of his surroundings. It was not particularly promising. A metal bed frame placed against the back wall of the cell, a thin pad and pillow, a metal toilet and basin, and the bars themselves. No area for storage of belongings and no shower. The cell was clearly not meant for long-term confinement. Beyond the bars was an empty area with enough room to stand out of reach of anyone inside the cell. Shepard saw the dark jacket of his suit tossed into the far corner, the purple plastic flower still pinned to the lapel. A single door on the wall opposite the bars led to whatever lay beyond the room. An obvious security camera above the door pointed toward the cell.

Shepard's attention was pulled back to Manuel as the scientist began a slow clap, staring at Shepard and smiling as the clapping extended over several seconds. Shepard could not tell if the clapping was genuine or sarcastic, but either way it spiked his anger to greater intensity. It felt as if Manuel were treating this as a game or play-acting, despite the fact that Shepard had shot him through the forearm during his attempt to escape with Tali. Manuel, to Shepard's disappointment, did not seem to be suffering any ill effects from that injury.

"I must applaud you, Shepard. Your escape attempt was very dramatic. I should have known the universe would not allow me to simply seize the narrative without a worthy struggle. Your Quarian friend was even more a wrench in our works than I predicted. Very exciting. And one more sign that my efforts to seize control have gained the desired attention." Manuel practically quivered with pent up excitement, bouncing on the balls of his feet and rubbing his hands together. Shepard had intended to let Manuel ramble and try to find some advantage in the nonsense he expected would ensue, but thoughts of Tali raised a question that wouldn't wait for more mind games.

Well, maybe one more. Shepard suddenly surged toward the bars, stopping with his nose a bare inch from the barrier, trying again to rattle Manuel. Manuel stood unflinchingly confident, maybe overconfident, in his safety. Shepard kept his voice level, his calm conveying anger and menace better than volume might have. "Where the hell is Tali, Manuel? I want to see her. Now."

Manuel smiled more broadly. "I knew that would be your first question. Not 'Where am I' or 'What are you going to do with me'. That tells me much, Shepard. That she means much to you." Manuel rubbed his hands together, his grin growing broader. "You needn't worry. She is safe and you will be reunited with her soon enough. First, though, now is the time for us to talk. After all, you've kept me waiting two weeks for the opportunity."

Shepard's stomach lurched. _Two weeks_. How could that be? The Normandy, his crew, the mission, Tali…for a split second the consequences of that much lost time roiled in his mind. For just that split second, Shepard wasn't sure. Then, facts started sliding into place, pushing back doubt. His injury was still freshly healing, likely from recent medi-gel use. His beard stubble was barely changed. He was wearing the same shirt, pants, and shoes he was wearing when he was taken, a large brownish red stain of dried blood stiffened the fabric covering bicep area of his right sleeve. He felt none of the physical effects, with which he was quite familiar, of an extended bout of unconsciousness. Manuel was lying. Based on the factors at hand it had likely been no more than a few hours since he lost consciousness. Not days and certainly not weeks. Shepard's moment of shock passed and his eyes narrowed in even greater anger. Despite this, he breathed an inward sigh of relief hearing that Tali was safe.

Manuel chuckled as he hunched his shoulders and balled his fists with glee. "I had you for a moment there Shepard. I meant it _felt_ like two weeks waiting for you to wake up. Waiting for our chance to have the conversation we must have. The universe demands this exposition. This is part of the ritual that must occur for me to fully seize your narrative and reach my apotheosis."

 _He really is insane_ , Shepard thought to himself. But he was also clearly calling the shots at the moment. Power and crazy had always been a dangerous combination. Shepard knew he needed to be careful. If he handled this right he might learn some useful information in the midst of whatever pious ramblings he was about to endure. Maybe even gain enough advantage to get Tali and him out of this. "Okay, Manuel. I seem to be a captive audience. Tell me your wisdom, great prophet." Shepard managed to keep the anger and sarcasm out of his voice, barely.

Manuel smiled and cocked his head, clearly pleased with Shepard's response. The gesture reminded Shepard of Tali and the fact that part of humoring Manuel was keeping his attention away from her. Manuel seemed to want him alive for the moment, but he had no way to be sure that was the case for Tali. "Yes, Shepard. Prophet, pirate, and protagonist. I have been shown the grandest truth underlying the functioning of our universe. A truth that, prior to me, had only been glimpsed by the most creative and open of minds, but even then only glimpsed. I have stared into the heart of that truth, stared into the sun and been unblinded. I am hijacking your story, Shepard, and rewriting a tale that is beyond ancient. This will result in my ascension, granting me the power to alter a cycle that has repeated itself since the dawn of life." Manuel's focus had drifted into the distance. He stared at some vision only he could see.

Shepard worked to parse Manuel's sermon. Through the haze of delusions there were fragments that began to come together. Manuel was well informed. About him, about his crew, his mission. That meant Manuel had friends in high places. Manuel seemed eager to talk, even insistent, so Shepard encouraged him, hoping to glean more. "What truth is that, Manuel? What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying, Shepard, that Shakespeare was right, at least in part. Act two scene seven of As You Like It. 'All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players…' I'm saying that I have seen clearly, been shown clearly, the truth of which the poets and storytellers and artists and philosophers have grasped only the barest shards and slivers, and which the scientists have grasped…" Manuel made a disgusted noise, "…not at all. That you, me, the whole universe…", Manuel paused dramatically and let the moment linger, two heartbeats, three, then finished as if his words would shake the foundations of creation itself, "… _are the playthings of gods_."

Shepard closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation, sighing heavily. He had heard this sort of nonsense before and finding something as idiotic as Reaper worship at the heart of Manuel's actions and insanity put him at the end of his tolerance. His voice climbed in volume as he responded to Manuel's revelation. "The Reapers ARE NOT GODS! I helped KILL ONE, for fuck's sake. We locked them out of the galaxy. Now their minions are kidnapping human colonies and you're signing up to worship them? Threatening me and my mission for some bullshit promise of power?" Shepard hesitated, turning pieces in his mind. "Have you considered that you might be indoctrinated, Manuel?"

Shepard had hoped to shock Manuel with that accusation. To plant some all too possible doubts that might allow him to convince the lunatic to release him and Tali. Manuel just looked…sad. He shook his head and frowned with disappointment. "I once thought as you did, Shepard. Simple, linear, like a child. Seeing only the path before me and blind to greater, perhaps enormously greater, possibilities. It seems so few ever understand the third side of the coin. Comprehension. The Reapers are nothing. Just another group of players on the stage, acting their part, reciting their rote lines as they have since their beginning and grasping their true meaning as little as you yourself. No, Shepard. I speak of those who have written the story of this universe. Etched it deep into our collective psyche. Carved it into our DNA. Not just humans, but Asari, Salarian, Turian, Krogan, every race that drags itself from the primordial slime of its homeworld ultimately tells the same tales. The same themes and even specific stories told across species and planets that have never met or communicated. We are playing at pantomime, Shepard, with as much choice as the colonists on Feros under the control of the Thorian. I finally realized this when I grasped how the ultimate tale of the death of all sentient life had unfolded and repeated itself across the untold millennia. This was shown to me on Eden Prime, Shepard, as it was shown to you. You simply failed to grasp the depth of what you had learned and chose to see it as simple warning rather than revelation."

Shepard's head snapped up and his breath caught as the meaning of what Manuel said sank in. The pieces he had been trying to fit together twisted and flew apart at this information. Shepard's voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke. "You poor, damned fool. You accessed the Prothean beacon on Eden Prime. Why would you do that? How did you do that?" Shepard had believed that only he and the rogue Spectre, Saren Arterius, had accessed that beacon before it had blown itself to pieces, taking its knowledge and visions with it. It didn't seem possible that Manuel had accessed it as well.

Manuel was gently clapping his hands again, the fingers of one hand gently striking against the palm of the other, as he stared at Shepard and smiled. The sarcasm was clearly evident this time. "There. You see, Shepard. You can see the obvious if it is presented to you. I accessed the beacon on Eden Prime. I was probably the first to do so in fifty thousand years."

Shepard automatically began gathering the pieces that had flown apart with Manuel's revelation. Not indoctrinated then. _Broken_. Shepard had been told repeatedly by Liara that it would take an exceptionally strong will and focused mind to tolerate the sudden, overwhelming flow of information, information meant for a Prothean, but forced into a human brain by the technology of the beacon. Shepard had survived his own interactions with more than one beacon, but knew first hand the strain it put on one's sense of self, one's sanity. He suddenly realized that when he first met Manuel on Eden Prime his behavior wasn't just a reaction to the trauma of the Geth attack, he was suffering from his exposure to the beacon.

Manuel was staring into the distance again. Shepard kept quiet, waiting for what Manuel would reveal. Ready to use it if he could. "Dr. Warren and I weren't exactly in favor at the university. The usual political bullshit that always seems so important at the time. So we were put in charge of archaeological excavations on Eden Prime. What Prothean artifacts had been found on Eden Prime were pitiful, no more impressive than what might be found lying around in the open on Feros, and on Eden Prime you had to dig for them. The sort of work normally shunted to a not particularly promising graduate student, not researchers of our training. No one was more surprised than we were when we found that intact Prothean beacon. Our scans showed it was not only intact, but with an active power source and functional data storage. It was the find of the century. Of the millennium. It was a career-making, career-saving, discovery. We had been celebrating into the wee hours, drunk from excitement and alcohol, when the 'good news' was delivered to us. The beacon was to be carefully packed up, taken to the cargo dock, and guarded until a ship arrived the next day to take the beacon back for study in a 'secure environment'. Dr. Warren and I were to remain on Eden Prime to search for any additional artifacts. Do you know what someone who makes such an important find but doesn't get to study it gets? A polite footnote at the bottom of page forty-two thanking us for our efforts. No author credit, no recognition, no grants. That beacon was our discovery, Shepard! WE FOUND IT…we found it. It was ours."

Anger and bitterness were laced through Manuel's account. He stood clenching his fists, frowning at the floor, replaying memories and clearly not enjoying his reminiscing. After several seconds he looked back to Shepard. The anger and bitterness were still there, but something else was mixing with those emotions. Something that had made Manuel's eyes wet with tears.

"It was ours, Shepard. We were drunk, angry. Dr. Warren and I decided that if we only had a few hours with our find, then by the gods we were going to be the first to learn what secrets it held. We were going to activate it. The beacon was still under our control, at least until it was moved to the cargo dock. There were guards, but they were stationed outside the shelter we had erected over the site. We were the lead researchers. We told them we were there to make sure the beacon was ready for transport to the cargo dock. An easy story to believe. A moment later and we were standing at the beacon. Dr. Warren faltered then. She could have insisted on being the first to access the beacon, but she ordered me to activate it. I was so eager. I felt the eyes of the gods on me even then. I stood before the beacon and triggered the power, and, well, you know what I experienced."

Shepard merely nodded, recalling that flood of imagery, the shock of it's revelations, the sensation that your head would burst from the death screams of an entire galaxy, and ultimately unconsciousness. But, Manuel was continuing. "I think we expected the beacon to simply display its secrets. As it yanked me into the air and as the truths and madness it held poured into me, I screamed. Dr. Warren panicked. She knew the guards would respond to the noise, and quickly. She wrenched open the circuit breakers, damaging them in her careless rush. With the power gone, I fell. A second later the guards burst through the door. Dr. Warren told them I had a seizure and to help her get me to the hospital. When I woke up the next day, I knew the truth. The real truth about the universe. We hid what we had done to the beacon. I don't know if they would have ever realized what happened, but no one ever got the chance to investigate. The beacon was moved to the cargo dock without incident. Until the Geth arrived. Until Saren and Sovereign came to claim their prize."

 _Well informed indeed_ , Shepard thought. Pieces had shifted into new configurations. Answers and new questions mixed freely. It was Manuel's and Dr. Warren's meddling that had caused the overload that destroyed the beacon. Tears had begun to flow freely down Manuel's cheeks. Shepard sought some way to use this to help himself and Tali. "You feel guilty for your role in destroying the beacon. Destroying the knowledge and warning it held." If that beacon had remained intact it could have carried its warning to others, could have helped prepare the races of the galaxy for Sovereign. If not for Manuel's selfish actions, if not for the arrival of Saren. Saren. A new ugly configuration of pieces locked into place and Shepard's brows drew together as a new realization emerged. He stared hard at Manuel and the urge to tear down the bars before him and beat Manuel to death surged anew. Whatever thoughts Shepard had entertained of comforting Manuel to try to get what he wanted were consumed in the heat of his anger.

Manuel had been watching Shepard as he made his confessions. He recognized the moment when the pieces fell into place for him. "You finally see, don't you, Shepard. There was no leaked information, no careless communication telling of our discovery. We didn't realize it at the time, but 'beacon' is the right word for those devices. When it was activated it sent a signal through the mass relays to any other active beacon in its network. We revealed its existence and our location to the only other being that was listening."

Shepard was clenching his own fists now, picturing Manuel's neck in his grip. He realized that confession had been the right word. "You brought Saren down on Eden Prime. You and Dr. Warren. You are responsible for the deaths of those colonists, of Jenkins, for all the destruction then and now. The galaxy could have been prepared for Sovereign, be preparing now for the Reapers instead of being in denial. You are guilty, Manuel. You and Dr. Warren, but you'll find no absolution from me. You really are damned."

Manuel's expression of bitterness and regret had hardened as Shepard spoke. "Of everyone in the galaxy, Shepard, I thought that you at least might understand. Might accept the necessity of what I do, even including your own sacrifice. You've seen everything I have, even if you lack the understanding. But I expected too much from you. You're stuck in your role, playing your part despite all my efforts to enlighten you. Very well. I don't want or need your absolution. A god is beyond the need for atonement. The beacon pounded the truth into me with the force of a supernova. All that has happened is happening because it must happen. The details change, but the story is unchanging. Until now. I am about to change what could not be changed. With your sacrifice I will draw the power of that story to myself. The power, the ability to shape the course of the universe, armor against the plots of gods and men will be mine, not yours. That's as good a definition of a god as any I've heard. You should be thanking me, Shepard. As this story progressed you would have been chewed up and spit out by the grinding gears of inevitability. One death made you a martyr, but you would have ended up reviled, tired, spent. Another Veteran of the Psychic Wars." Manuel paused to smile and laugh to himself. Some internal joke that Shepard couldn't fathom, but found grating.

Shepard found himself wishing that Kelly Chambers were here to deal with this insanity. He knew he was out of his depth. "That is quite the grand destiny you've charted for yourself, Manuel. I don't suppose you've considered that instead of turning the eyes of gods upon you, the beacon simply drove you insane? That your delusions of grandeur are the result of a guilty conscience for all the death you've caused? That you are trying to make up for the fact that all this destruction is your fault?" Shepard had seized on the one seeming weakness Manuel had revealed. Now he was beating him over the head with his guilt. Hopefully, beating him into submission. "You can change the course of this for the better, Manuel. By releasing me and Tali to carry on our fight against the Collectors. You still have time to correct at least this mistake. To maybe begin to make up for what you've caused."

It felt clumsy, but Shepard tried to play on that guilt. Tried to draw out whatever sanity still existed in the man to steer him from what was, at least to him, clearly an insane course. But even as he spoke, he saw Manuel's whole demeanor change again. Manuel looked…shocked, that would be the word. He stood, staring slack-jawed for several seconds. Shepard doubted he had even heard the last words of his plea for sanity. Manuel slowly raised his eyes to lock them with Shepard's, a grin spreading across his face. "Gods, Shepard. You are right. Somehow, I didn't see it until you showed me. _This_ is why this conversation was necessary. Why the script must be followed until I truly seize the narrative. You said, 'All of this is my fault.' I'm not hijacking your story. _You hijacked mine._ I started this. I triggered the beacon and set this tale into motion, turned to this page of the script. The power was mine until you took it. You took my power. By sacrificing you, I'm taking my power back. I'm in an arc of redemption. Driven to my lowest point, I've clawed my way back into this fight and now I'm about to reclaim my destiny. Thank you so much, Shepard. I thought I knew what had to be done, but it was still so confusing, so uncertain. You've helped me to see clearly. You've helped me, Shepard. And once I sacrifice you it will be me that saves this galaxy. But don't worry. You'll get a nice footnote on page forty-two thanking you for your sacrifice."

 _Fuck,_ Shepard thought. _So close._ He had been on the verge of getting through to Manuel. He was sure of it. But he had stumbled on the unfamiliar psychological ground and if anything only entrenched Manuel's delusions more deeply. _So much for being clever._ Okay, then. If words wouldn't resolve this situation, then he would use force. When his moment came he would focus every bit of his rage and take this place and anyone in his way apart to free Tali and get them out of this madhouse. But to free her he would have to find her. Shepard didn't bother to hide any of his anger as he returned to his original question. "I've put up with this nonsense long enough, Manuel. I want to see Tali. Now."

Manuel visibly shook himself and refocused on Shepard, smiling. "A most productive confrontation, Shepard. They'll have to be pleased with our scene. I did promise you a reunion and this is the perfect moment to make that happen. Don't go anywhere." Manuel giggled at his joke as he opened the door and stepped into what appeared to be a bare hallway outside the room. Manuel pulled a cart into view that had been placed just out of sight in the hallway. He wheeled the cart into the room and placed it where he had been standing remaining behind the cart and farther from Shepard.

Shepard eyed the cart. It was a nondescript square push cart that you might find in any laboratory or storage room. A plain, white cloth concealed something set on the flat surface of the cart. A rounded something that looked to be less than a foot in diameter. Manuel was grinning as he took hold of one corner of the concealing cloth. "I've been completely honest with you, Shepard…"

Manuel dramatically whipped the cloth from the cart, lacking only a musical flourish to complete the effect. Shepard found himself staring at a familiar helmet. A lavender faceplate, smashed to fragments, the edges smeared a brownish red, like his own stained shirtsleeve. Gray metal draped in torn, pale, purple fabric, embroidered with a pattern of delicate swirls. A golden metal disc clung to one section of the fabric, the head of the beautiful creature depicted gouged away. Shepard stared for seconds, he was not sure how many, before he tore his eyes from the cart to stare at Manuel.

"…I am reuniting you with at least this much of your Quarian friend. And I'm sure that she now rests safely in the arms of those who have written this ending to her story. Her bravery has certainly earned her that much. You have my condolences, Shepard, on the death of Tali'Zorah vas Normandy."


	6. Chapter 6 - Alone Together

Chapter 6 – Alone Together

Shepard's roar as he hit the bars was primal, born of pure rage and pain. It didn't matter that Manuel was beyond his reach. The bars groaned as he crashed into them with his full weight and strength, arms extended, reaching through the gaps for Manuel's distant throat. He was eager to tear him apart, to make him suffer before dying. Shepard felt a tingle up his left arm for a fraction of a second before a powerful electrical discharge tore through him. His whole body clenched and pulled itself into a ball as he crumpled, sliding down the bars to the cold, metal floor. He lay there, his body twitching as he fought through the effects of the sudden and unexpected electrical shock he had experienced.

It wasn't hard for Shepard to guess where the jolt had come from. _The damned bracelet_ , he thought. In the midst of Manuel's ramblings he had not gotten around to asking about the innocuous looking metal band. With the revelation of Tali's shattered helmet any concern about the bracelet had been forgotten. _Tali. Oh, god. Tali, Tali, what have I done._ Shepard's muscles were still spasming as he gripped the bars, dragging himself to his knees. He refused to lie prone before this bastard regardless of his condition. His left arm tingled from a mild electric shock as he turned his hand and the metal band passed across the plane of the bars. A warning of a much stronger jolt to come if he reached farther. He twisted his hand, bringing the bracelet back to his side of the bars, and the tingling stopped. As he pulled himself up the bars, he found himself at eye level with the shattered helmet. He paused unable to pull his gaze from the broken shell before him. In his mind's eye he unwillingly pictured Tali, broken like her helmet. Gone. Dead. Because of him. Kelly had warned him, cautioned him of exactly this risk, but he hadn't wanted to hear. This was his fault. She had died trying to save him and he had never even told her, never shared what he truly felt. His heart hammered in his chest and he genuinely wondered if it might explode with his pain and anger. In that moment he would have been glad if it had done so as long as the blast took Manuel with him. Shepard forced himself to his feet. Suddenly, he craved the punishment and distraction of the electrical shock. Preferred that physical pain to the storm of anguish that had exploded into existence when that concealing cloth was removed. He hunched to charge the bars a second time, seeking, accepting the pain he knew would follow.

Manuel held up a hand and froze Shepard in place with his next words. "Before you seriously injure yourself I should tell you, Tali'Zorah is very much alive." Shepard stood a moment on the verge of lunging, trying to process what Manuel had just said. His eyes darted from Manuel back to the broken helmet. His strength drained from him in a rush and he sank back to his knees. Confusion roiled his thinking. Confusion, fear, hope. He wasn't sure what to feel or what to believe. Manuel continued. "This is nothing but a copy, Shepard. A facsimile built from scans and omni-gel. A smear of human blood from our infirmary indistinguishable from Quarian. All but her medallion. That added the perfect touch of realism to the display. Wouldn't you agree?"

Shepard took a long, shuddering breath and climbed to his feet again, carefully. He stared at the helmet. It was her helmet. Or a very good copy artfully, sadistically arranged. He wanted to believe that she was alive. Shepard shifted his focus to Manuel and quivered in impotent fury. "Why? Why would you do such a thing? Make me believe that…?" Shepard trailed off, unable to verbally express the torrent of feelings he was experiencing.

Manuel leaned forward slightly, looking at Shepard as if he were lecturing a particularly dull student. "Two reasons, Shepard. I believe, and you've shown me, that you care about Tali'Zorah so much you would sacrifice yourself before you would allow harm to come to her. I wanted you to feel the reality of her loss. Believe in it. Know that you had failed her and she was gone. That her blood was on your hands. I wanted you to feel that pain, that guilt, so that you would do what is needed to never feel it again. Would you die for Tali'Zorah, Shepard? You'll have that chance. The alternative is for her to die as well. I do not want to issue that order, but I will if you force me to."

Shepard ground his teeth as he struggled with his emotions. He believed she was alive, safe for the moment. He consciously pushed aside the possibility that Manuel was now lying to him about her being safe. Manuel wanted to use her to control him. Believed Shepard would willingly sacrifice himself to save her. Shepard realized in that moment that Manuel was right. He would die to save her if that was what it took. But it wasn't Plan A. Shepard hoped it wasn't too late to correct his many recent mistakes. He was making more now, he recognized. Putting his feelings on display for Manuel. Letting a madman play with his head. Rookie mistakes he should not be making. He had to believe Tali lived. Would believe it. And he had to start acting like a professional if he hoped to save her, to save them both. Shepard took a slow, deep breath and focused on harnessing those roiling emotions. Storing them like the explosive charge of a grenade, ready to be released on his enemies when the time was right. Like on Mindoir. Shepard completed his exhalation and when he reopened his eyes it was the cold stare of a predator that examined Manuel. "You said there were two reasons."

"Yes, Shepard. I wanted you to realize that I am in complete control here. I control you, her, everything. You think you can stop me because you think you are irreplaceable. The main character. You believe the universe will hand you some clever means of thwarting me. That the story will offer you some dramatic means of slaying the dragon, rescuing the damsel, and heroically riding off into the sunset as you've always done before. As you did on Therum with Dr. T'Soni." Manuel paused and stared back at Shepard, smiling smugly. "It's not going to happen. You cause difficulty, Shepard, and you both suffer. You've already experienced the effects of the shock bracelet. You cross those bars, you make any trouble, and you'll experience it again. You both will. I've linked the two of you together. If either of you causes problems, you both suffer. And trust me when I say we deduced how she resisted the stun weapon aboard the Pilgrim's Progress. Her suit won't protect her from this electrical discharge. If you really care about Tali'Zorah, you'll remember that, Shepard. Now, if you'll excuse me, there is an order to things that must be respected. I shall leave you to consider your position, but I'll return soon to fulfill the next requirements in our ritual. I'll leave this for you as a reminder." Manuel radiated smug satisfaction as he gestured to the cart displaying the fake helmet. "See you soon, _Commander_." Shepard heard the sarcasm in the way Manuel said Commander. He was emphasizing again his own control of Shepard. Manuel smirked a final time at Shepard before turning to go.

Shepard managed to keep his anger restrained in the face of that smugness, though it was difficult. He focused on calculation, consideration, finding or making a weakness. Manuel was basking in his sense of control believing his victory was inevitable despite Shepard's resistance. Shepard knew he was taking a risk, especially if what Manuel said about his shock bracelet being linked to Tali was true, but he decided that rattling Manuel's confidence was a better option than faking compliance. Manuel had already shown a tendency to panic when things did not go according to plan.

Manuel had begun to turn away to leave when Shepard spoke up. "Manuel, there is one other thing you may want to consider."

Manuel paused and turned back toward Shepard, sighing. "You almost forgot to make your last, impotent threat before I left, didn't you, Shepard. I guess old tropes never die. Go ahead, I'm listening."

"No threat, I just wanted to remind you of something." Shepard suddenly lashed out with a front kick, extending his leg through the bars until the bars dug into his hip and groin. The cart was out of arms' reach, but with his leg extended he was able to kick the front of the cart, driving it back forcefully. The handle of the cart drove into Manuel's gut and he collapsed to his knees with a gasp of pain. The fake helmet tumbled from the cart and clattered to the floor. Shepard ignored it and stood staring down at Manuel who was on his knees before Shepard, though unfortunately still out of reach. "I just wanted to give you a reminder that there is no such thing as complete control. When you think you have control is often when you're about to be proven wrong. You're not the first person I've dealt with who convinced himself he had it all figured out."

Manuel hunched on the floor, gasping for air. It took nearly a minute before he was able to look up at Shepard with anger instead of pain. As soon as he was able to remove his hands from holding his gut he brought his arm up in front of him. As the omni-tool on his left arm flared to life he jabbed a finger forcefully into the haptic interface.

As Manuel's finger descended, Shepard knew what was coming. He dropped to his knees so he wouldn't have so far to fall and had just enough time to think _I'm sorry, Tali_ before the electrical discharge ripped through him a second time. He collapsed onto his side, using what self-control he had to make sure he didn't soil himself as he writhed helplessly.

As Manuel climbed back to his feet gingerly, he finally caught his breath. He used it for screaming. "You think you know everything, don't you Shepard? You think you can tell everyone how to beat the Reapers. The council, the Alliance, The Illusive Man, Me. You think you know better than all of us. You. Are. Not. The. Hero. The Illusive Man betrayed the Alliance when he took Cerberus rogue. You are the tool of that traitor. You don't deserve your power. You don't deserve to have taken my story. I'm taking it back and then MY power will save us all. Get used to it, Shepard. YOU HAVE LOST! It's time you started acting like it."

Shepard raised his head from where he lay and watched Manuel turn and attempt to storm from the room, though with the pain he was still feeling he achieved something more like and angry shuffle. He couldn't help but feel some satisfaction as Manuel limped out, still hunched around his injury. Shepard lay on the floor several more seconds, recovering from the lingering effects of the electrical shock. As he lay thinking, he decided it had been worth provoking Manuel. As much for what he learned as for rattling his confidence. Manuel had demonstrated a great deal of knowledge of Shepard's history. He had already known about his relationship with Liara, but that could have come from a number of sources. The details about Therum, though, his knowledge about Cerberus as a rogue Alliance operation, his knowledge of The Illusive Man, those details indicated he had contacts highly placed in the Alliance. Someone with access to classified military records. Someone with access to sufficient funds to provide a ship like the Pilgrim's Progress and who knew what else. Maybe a powerful individual, maybe a new group akin to Cerberus, maybe both. Shepard was turning these new pieces, considering the possibilities, but he knew he didn't yet have enough to figure out the picture.

Manuel had said he would return to follow the next steps in whatever ritual he had planned. Shepard hoped he had bought himself some more time with his attack, but there was no way to know just how much time he had. He decided he had better make the most of that time. Experience had taught him it was the one commodity you always wished you had more of.

As he finished recovering, Shepard held his left arm in front of him and examined the metal bracelet. It was a plain, solid band of metal that seemed to be tightly formed to his wrist. Likely the fit had been adjusted with omni-gel to ensure he couldn't slip his hand out or access the device's mechanism. The snug fit meant there was no chance of slipping something non-conductive in between the bracelet and his skin, even if he had such an item. He also realized that the device was solid enough and snug enough that he probably couldn't easily damage it with a physical blow. Not that he would be able to easily hide such an action from any observer on the other end of the camera.

Shepard sat up, frustrated. He knew his limits and engineering problems quickly put him out of his depth. That level of skill was one of the many things he found impressive about Tali. At the thought of her Shepard glanced at the fallen helmet. He ground his teeth in anger at how he had fallen for Manuel's ruse, but he understood the message. Don't resist or the next cart Manuel rolled in might hold the real thing. But playing nice was another thing Shepard was bad at. He was much better at causing problems and, hopefully, taking advantage of the aftermath. For the moment, he had pushed Manuel as hard as he dared and further derailed the neat narrative that Manuel seemed to believe he had constructed. Now he had to be ready to take advantage of any opening this might offer. Especially when Manuel returned.

Shepard had rested enough. He rose to his feet and reexamined his cell. It didn't take long. The furnishings were simple and sturdy. It didn't appear possible to break off a part that might then serve as a tool or weapon. There was a single air vent. Had he been the size of a house cat he might have been able to remove the cover and crawl through it. The basin and toilet were solid. Shepard briefly considered attempting to flood the room, but the toilet was the sort he had seen on ships and space stations. The volume of water it produced would be minimal. Besides, the camera assured that any obvious actions would be observed. He had no doubt the shock bracelet he wore could be triggered by whoever was at the other end of that camera.

Shepard walked to the bars and took hold of them with both hands. He was careful to keep the bracelet from crossing the plane of the bars. He pulled and was briefly gratified by the slight creak his efforts created. Unfortunately, it did not appear he would be able to simply rip the bars loose. Even if he could, there was still the camera. Same problem for the lock. Shepard shook his head at the large panel. It actually held an honest to goodness keyhole. Not an electronic lock, palm lock, retinal scanner, or any of the myriad security mechanisms that had replaced mechanical locks and keys. Part of the scenario Manuel was so determined to create, he decided. The ambience and setting seemed as important to him as their interactions. Or maybe he saw them as integral to each other. It hardly mattered though. Even if he could force the lock mechanism he would be taken down before he could make it out the door, wherever that led. Shepard looked at the camera. Doing something to damage it would almost certainly earn him the same outcome, so he did the only thing he could think of at the moment. There was no bracelet on his right arm, so he put that arm through the bars and extended his middle finger at whoever was watching. His moment of defiance expended, Shepard walked back to the bunk and sat down.

Shepard stared at the door for what felt like ages. With no way to gauge the passage of time he was unsure how long he had waited. He hated waiting. Hated trying to be patient, but patience was one of the only tools he still had access to. He didn't know where he was or even what lay beyond that door. So he would wait. He would gather information and look for his opening. Tali had been right. He usually had his best success when scrambling in the moment. He would find that moment, do what he could to make it happen. Then he would save TaliiiiOWCH.

Shepard glanced down at the bracelet. It had just unexpectedly given him a shock. No, it was still shocking him. Not badly, but it wasn't pleasant. He didn't know if it was shorting out or if somebody was screwing with him. He glanced back at the camera. Maybe his watcher didn't care for his earlier gesture.

The shocks vanished as unexpectedly as they had started. Shepard rubbed his wrist as best he could around the bracelet and began running through the possibilities for what he might find beyond the door. He thought back to the numbers of scientists and guards he had counted on board the Pilgrim's Progress during their attempted escape, but had no way of knowing if those were all the forces Manuel had at his disposOW!

The shocks had returned, to Shepard's annoyance. If the damned bracelet was going to be doing this then he was going to complain to the management. Shepard got up and walked again to the bars and waved at the camera. "Hey! You watching. I've got a bit of a problem here. Come in here and give me a hand." Shepard wasn't sure if the camera was picking up sound, but his waving should get someone's attention. The shocks had ceased again.

Shepard waited. Half a minute later the shocks flared again. Mild, but they certainly got his attention. Ow, ow, ow…ow, ow, ow, ow…ow, owww, owww, ow…ow, owww, ow…owww, ow, ow. Even as the door began to open, a realization had begun to force its way into Shepard's awareness. He knew he could be slow on the uptake, but also knew in this case he couldn't afford that. Not here, not now. He had to understand. As the door fully opened and a guard stepped into the room, Shepard froze in realization. The series of shocks weren't random. Each of the three groups of shocks had been in an identical pattern.

Shepard recognized the guard. The same man whose face he had vomited into during his and Tali's escape. The guard came through the door with his omni-tool active, finger hovering over the haptic interface. He would likely be more than willing to trigger the shock bracelet given their brief history, but the shock bracelet was now the last thing Shepard wanted the guard to focus on. He quickly came up with an excuse for calling in the guard.

The guard eyed Shepard with irritation. "What the hell's the problem, Shepard?"

"No real problem. I just realized that during Manuel's visit we didn't complete one of the rituals he required. Would you kindly pass along to him that before this is over I'm going to shoot him in the head and leave his corpse to rot? I would appreciate it ever so much and I imagine so would Manuel. Thanks. Sorry to trouble you." Shepard stood innocently, hoping he was pulling off the small smile of appreciation he was trying to affect. It was a struggle to maintain that smile as the bracelet began shocking him yet again, in the same pattern as before.

The guard glared at Shepard, his finger wavering over his omni-tool, clearly having an internal debate as to whether he should stab that finger downward. "Tell him yourself when he comes back, but don't jerk me around or waste my time. Call me in here again with this bullshit and you'll be twitching on the floor before I make it through the door." He turned and exited the room without a backward glance.

More pieces of the puzzle were vying for Shepard's attention. The same guard from the ship meant that there were probably not a large number of guards or personnel in whatever facility this was. Probably. The guard's lack of awe for Shepard again argued that there were different perceptions at work. And possibly divisions that might be exploited. The guard also confirmed that Manuel would be returning which wasn't a surprise, but confirmation was never a bad thing. Shepard pushed all these thoughts to the back of his mind and focused on the one thing he cared about most at the moment. After another brief pause, the bracelet had begun its pattern of shocks again. The same pattern of longer and shorter shocks as before. Shepard dredged through his memory for the meaning of the pattern. Long and short. Dashes and dots. S-H-P-R-D.

The shocks paused and Shepard realized he was holding his breath. He let out a long exhale, part relief, part wonder. He considered for a moment whether this could possibly be Manuel manipulating him, but quickly decided that was not likely. Only one person had been present for his offhanded remark about Morse code. Not for the first time, and hopefully not for the last he found himself impressed and grateful for Tali's cleverness. He realized with a start that she couldn't have known the code would be useful. She had done this for him. She would have had to download the specifics of the code and entered it into her translator so that she could understand and use a code reliant on the human language and alphabet. Probably not a difficult task for her, but how many people would have even bothered for such a seemingly trivial remark? Would have cared enough to make the effort? Only one he could think of. Shepard's chest felt tight as he looked again to the shattered helmet lying on the floor. He vowed to himself that the helmet would not be an omen of things to come.

The series of shocks repeated and Shepard realized he had foolishly allowed his thoughts to wander. He refocused on the immediate situation and hurried to the bars to make use of the opportunity Tali had given them. He looked down at the lock and began poking at it, trying to appear as if he were examining the lock for weaknesses or some way to open it. He casually held onto the bars with his left hand, the bracelet near the plane of the bars. With a tiny twist of the wrist he could trigger the minor shock, twisting his hand back to stop it and create the equivalent of the dots and dashes of Morse code. He suspected wherever she was, Tali was doing something similar. He hurried to send his own message before the next series of shocks. "T-A-L-I-?". Shepard added the code that turned her name into a question, a part of him still afraid this was some sort of trick.

There was a brief pause and a new set of shocks occurred. "Y-E-S. U S-A-F-E?"

Shepard paused as well. That was not really an easy question to answer. He also felt the need to at least try to confirm he was really in contact with Tali. He focused on twisting his hand back and forth across the plane of the bars as he continued to pretend to fiddle with the lock mechanism. "F-O-R N-O-W. W-H-A-T D-I-D I G-I-V U B-F-O-R O-U-R D-A-T-E?" Shepard waited through the ensuing pause for what likely felt like much longer than it actually was.

"P-R-P-L F-L-O-W-E-R. W-H-A-T I-S N-A-M-E O-F A-N-I-M-A-L O-N M-Y C-L-A-S-P?"

Shepard had to give her credit. The odds that anyone outside a Quarian historian would recognize the animal were low. Shepard realized he had burned that detail into his own memory. A precious piece of Tali's life and history that he had come to value for the connection to her it represented. "B-U-L-O-T-H-A. R U S-A-F-E?"

"F-O-R N-O-W." There was a brief pause and Shepard could picture her considering her next words. Enough time passed that he almost started to send another message when the mild shocks resumed. "T-H-N-K T-H-I-S I-S A B-A-S-E. N-O I-D-E-A W-H-E-R-E. I-F U C-A-N E-S-C-A-P-E G-O."

Shepard had to carefully think through the shocks to make sure he had translated her message correctly. He was taken aback by the suggestion. She wanted him to escape, even if it meant leaving her behind. He appreciated what that implied about her feelings even as he rejected the idea. "I W-O-N-T L-E-A-V-E U." Given Manuel's fixation on him, Shepard thought it more likely that Tali might have some opportunity to escape. "M F-O-C-U-S-E-D O-N M-E. U S-E-E C-H-A-N-C-E Y-O-U G-O."

" **N-O!** " Shepard jerked away from the bars and cursed at the intensity of the shocks he had just received. He attempted to cover his reaction by pretending he had hurt his other hand prying at the lock. He shook his right hand and flexed it even as he rubbed his left hand and wrist against his hip. It occurred to Shepard that Tali had figured out a way to yell at him through their improvised communication. The shocks resumed at a more moderate level. "N-O. I W-O-N-T L-E-A-V-E U. W-E G-O T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R."

Shepard smiled at her stubbornness. Even more than her answer to his question about his gift to her, it convinced him he was really talking to Tali. "M H-A-S P-L-A-N-S F-O-R M-E. C-O-M-I-N-G B-A-C-K S-O-O-N. W-I-L-L T-R-Y T-O G-E-T I-N-F-O. P-L-A-C-E. T-I-M-E L-E-F-T. W-I-L-L C-O-N-T-A-C-T W-H-E-N H-A-V-E I-N-F-O. B S-A-F-E."

"M N-O-T S-A-N-E." Shepard considered Tali's summary of their host an understatement. "B S-A-F-E. W-I-L-L C-O-N-T-A-C-T I-F L-E-A-R-N M-O-R-E." There was a pause and Shepard assumed she had finished for the moment, though she had not ended with the 'over' signal. He turned from the bars, feigning disgust with his lack of progress on the lock. As he walked from the bars toward the bunk a brief series of shocks occurred and the simple message they conveyed stopped Shepard short. "8-8."

In Morse code 88 was a shorthand code generally translated as 'Love and Kisses'. It was a term of endearment, of caring, and maybe more. He had no idea what intensity of emotion she meant to convey or whether whatever Morse code translation she was using had provided an accurate description of the meaning of the phrase. Maybe he was reading too much into it. Or maybe he was reading into it what he wanted to be there. Or maybe she was saying exactly what she meant. He'd be damned if he would try to discuss such an important topic using antiquated codes and electrical shocks. He'd be equally damned if was going to let such a declaration go by unanswered. Okay. He'd meet her where she was at, whatever she meant. He turned and rushed back to the bars, grabbing them and twisting them with both hands, though it was only the left hand he was really focused on. "8-8. T-A-L-I."

He turned and walked back to the bunk, more flustered by what he was feeling, what she might be telling him, than by any potential threats from his insane host. He sat on the bunk, thinking only of the woman he hoped to see again soon. The woman to whom he owed a genuine explanation of his feelings. He sat and thought of her, he wasn't sure how long, until the door opened and Manuel stepped into the room.

Shepard couldn't help but take some small satisfaction at the fact that Manuel lacked his earlier smirk. Then Shepard realized that two armed guards were following Manuel into the room. They took up position to either side of him, assault rifles held ready, though not aimed at him, thankfully. Shepard rose to his feet, returning Manuel's steady stare.

Manuel looked down at the fallen helmet and kicked it into the corner. It came to rest, along with the clasp, on Shepard's suit jacket. The purple flower was still visible next to the shattered faceplate. Manuel took the cart by the handle that had so recently struck him, eyeing Shepard cautiously as he turned and pushed the cart through the door and into the hallway beyond. Finally, Manuel turned back to Shepard. "I hope your stay has been comfortable so far, Shepard. I also hope you are now willing to recognize that you have no options but to do as I say if you want to save Tali'Zorah. We'll see soon enough I suppose, though any attempt at escape will cost you both dearly." Manuel tossed a set of sturdy handcuffs through the bars to the floor at Shepard's feet. "You've taught me not to take chances with you, Shepard. Put those on. It's time for the next step in our ritual."


	7. Chapter 7 - Of Gods and Sausages

Chapter 7 – Of Gods and Sausages

Shepard had begun calculating his odds, weighing different scenarios, before the handcuffs hit the metal floor. If he were handcuffing himself his hands would be in front of him. That might allow him the opportunity to grab Manuel if he were quick. To use him to force his and Tali's release. Unfortunately, it would only take a finger swipe through a haptic interface to send him to the ground, helpless and twitching. Strike one.

The guards were carrying assault rifles, likely to send the message that they can do much worse than shock him. If he were wearing handcuffs it would be nearly impossible to wrestle one away from a guard. He could try for one of their holstered pistols, but without a good distraction it was a long shot that he could reach and draw a pistol before the guards retaliated. It seemed Manuel wanted him alive for whatever ritual he was planning, but the guards had already shown a propensity for shooting him in non-vital areas. A burst of fire from an assault rifle to his unshielded and unarmored legs _probably_ wouldn't kill him, but it would certainly make further resistance…problematic. Strike two.

Even if he were to somehow overpower the guards, get a weapon, take Manuel hostage, then what? He had no idea what lay beyond the door to this room other than a hallway. He had no idea where to find Tali and how they might escape even if he did. He suspected she was close for the linked shock bracelets to work, but there was more uncertainty in the word _close_ than he found comfortable. And he had already resolved that he wasn't going anywhere without her. Strike three. Superficial cooperation it was. At least until he could learn enough to make a successful escape more likely.

All these thoughts raced through Shepard's mind in the time it took for the handcuffs to slide to his feet. Shepard eyed the restraints with distaste. "What's the problem, Manuel? Isn't this sufficient jewelry for this ritual of yours?" Shepard held up his left arm and brandished the shock bracelet.

"As I said, Shepard, you have a long history of being a troublemaker. That has served the Alliance well in the past, and Cerberus more recently, but I will not allow you to disrupt my plans any further. Extra precautions will assure that. Put on the restraints. Now."

Shepard crouched down, never breaking his eye contact with Manuel, and picked up the handcuffs. He had noticed that like the door, they had an old style mechanical lock. Shepard shook his head as he slipped the handcuffs onto his wrists. "The door, the handcuffs, this all seems very retro, Manuel. What's your interest in antique dungeon furnishings? Not planning anything kinky, are you?"

Manuel pursed his lips in annoyance. "A ritual is made up of many parts, Shepard. Before the ceremony itself even occurs there are forms to observe. Preparations. Creating the proper mindset through environment. Surroundings, sound, timing, witnesses. All contribute, all are necessary. These "furnishings" help to create the proper atmosphere that you and I might complete all the steps of this ritual successfully."

"Mm, hmm. Fascinating stuff, Manuel. You should write a book on the subject." Shepard could not have cared less about Manuel's reasoning for his choice in dungeon décor. He did care about keeping Manuel distracted, with talk or irritation. Or both. While Manuel had been distracted with his annoyed exposition, Shepard had placed the handcuffs on his wrists, but had not tightly secured the restraint on his left wrist. He had tried to conceal this with the shock bracelet and cuff of his dress shirt. If the ruse worked he would be able to quickly free his left hand, effectively giving him use of both hands, if a good enough opportunity presented itself. "Let's get on with this, Manuel." Shepard walked to the cell door and waited.

"One step at a time, Shepard." Manuel activated his omni-tool and manipulated the haptic interface. "I've deactivated the function that triggers the shock bracelet if you cross the bars, but the bracelet can be manually triggered at any time. Put your hands through the bars."

 _So much for that trick_ , thought Shepard. He put his hands between the bars as one of the guards stepped forward. Shepard realized it was the guard he had elbowed in the groin aboard the Pilgrim's Progress. It was unlikely this guard would be careless with Shepard after that experience. Shepard briefly considered trying to grab him anyway, but Manuel was watching closely, omni-tool at the ready. The guard reached out and checked the handcuffs, immediately noticing the loose left cuff. With a sneer the guard pressed the cuff closed forcefully. Shepard winced inwardly at the pain, but outwardly simply smiled and shrugged. "Oops. Apologies. I'm not an engineer and sometimes these complex mechanical devices confuse me."

Manuel continued to stare at Shepard with a wry smile. "No, you're not an engineer. But we both know somebody who is." Manuel raised his omni-tool and held a finger over the interface. "Should I let her know that you have decided to be difficult?"

Shepard decided he much preferred Manuel when he was confused and agitated. When he was in control of himself he was entirely too dangerous. Shepard broke eye contact in acquiescence. Manuel had won that round, but the fight wasn't over. With the cuffs tightly secured, the guard produced a key from his belt and unlocked the cell door. The other guard kept his assault rifle pointed at Shepard. Shepard realized it was the guard he had met outside the ship. The one that had seemed star struck at Shepard and Tali's arrival.

Shepard stepped through the cell door and into the adjoining space. He half expected the shock bracelet to activate, despite Manuel's assurance. No shock occurred and Shepard found himself escorted to the single door that led from the room.

Shepard nodded to the guard who had seemed so worshipful when they met outside the ship. _Damn, that really is the right word_ , he thought. That guard, Shepard recalled his name was Heller, smiled in return, though the assault rifle pointed at Shepard never wavered. Shepard decided to hold his tongue for the moment and simply listen and observe. Manuel didn't seem ready to kill him at the moment, which meant this was his opportunity to learn what he could. Manuel stepped through the open door and into the hallway. Shepard followed, the two guards falling in behind him.

They had entered a short, bare hallway that led to a single door. To Shepard's left was an open room that contained a monitor for the camera observing his cell. The guard he had called into the room earlier was sitting at the monitor, omni-tool active. Shepard was glad that he hadn't tried to overpower Manuel and the two guards. He would have been put down long before he could have succeeded. That guard glared at Shepard as he was led past the room toward the door at the end of the hallway.

Manuel paused before the door and turned to Shepard. "Beyond this door is the seed that shall sprout into a new Eden. The seat of celestial power from which I shall reach across the universe and bestow my grace upon all who cower from the Reaper threat. I shall drive the Reapers from this galaxy as Saint Patrick drove the snakes from Ireland. As Rama slew the Rakshasas of Dandaka Forest. As the Olympians cast down the Titans…"

Shepard realized that Manuel had launched into a litany of tales in which a god or god like figure defeated demons and evil. No doubt further evidence in Manuel's fevered brain of the consistency of such stories across cultures and worlds. He was immersed in his delusions. Shepard was unsure how long he might ramble and decided a reality check was in order, though maybe not so dramatic as the one he had provided using the cart that had displayed the fake helmet. "Amazing, Manuel. And all this godhood requires is that you murder the person who, by your own admission, has been the biggest threat to the Reapers since Eden Prime. Are you _sure_ you aren't working for the Reapers? You're doing something they haven't managed, but would certainly like to see occur."

Manuel visibly sagged. "I thought you might have figured this out, Shepard, but the reason you're sacrifice is necessary is because of your success. Great ascension…", Manuel struggled with his words as tears welled up in his eyes, "…great…redemption, demands a great sacrifice. I suspect that making a god is not so different from making sausages. An ugly, even sickening process that most would prefer not to think about or witness. But a process that is necessary to reach the desired result."

Shepard shook his head at the bizarre comparison as Manuel turned and opened the door that led to the "seed of his new Eden". Perhaps in his twisted mind all of this made some kind of sense. He certainly seemed to have convinced others to join him in his delusion. Shepard was shoved from behind. He glanced back and saw the sneering guard gesture impatiently for him to proceed into the next room. It reminded Shepard that not everyone seemed to be fully on board with Manuel's delusions. Shepard would have to explore that as the opportunity presented itself, though he reminded himself he likely did not have much time for those explorations.

Shepard stepped through the door into a room that, compared to his cell, was much larger and busier. Manuel gestured expansively. "Welcome, Shepard, to the nerve center of our incipient paradise." Shepard paused to take in the grandeur of what stood before him.

It took only a few seconds to scan the room in its entirety. Shepard realized that _grandeur_ had been far too generous a word. The room wasn't much bigger than the conference room aboard the Pilgrim's Progress. Three long rows of tables stretched across the semi-circular room, facing the flat side of the semi-circle. The tables were laden with computers and other equipment, each station occupied by one of Manuel's scientists. Whatever work they were involved in had stopped so that they might stare at Shepard's arrival. The flat wall at the front of the room to Shepard's left was dominated by a high quality visual emulator that created a lifelike view of what lay beyond the facility, confirming for Shepard they were indeed located in a planet bound base. It gave the impression of looking out an enormous picture window. The view was harshly beautiful, but not encouraging.

A pale, reddish sun shone wanly on a bleak, rocky landscape. The blackness of space and a scattering of stars were clearly visible, telling Shepard that no atmosphere lay beyond the walls of this base. The ground was broken and barren, with numerous outcroppings of dark stone. It was clear to Shepard that he could not simply bolt out an airlock with Tali and flee to safety. In the distance he could see the Pilgrim's Progress, squatting on a landing pad, a docking tube extending from the ship into a rock face. Shepard traced the likely direction of where that boarding tube led and realized it led in the direction of this very room.

This prompted Shepard to further examine the room itself. To consider whether he and Tali could possibly board and take control of a ship the size of the Pilgrim's Progress. Or, failing that, take control of whatever communications they might reach and call for help. Spread around the semi-circle of the room were a number of metal doors, spaced evenly like the spokes of a wheel. Shepard suspected the first of the doors on the far side of the room led toward the landing platform he could see in the distance. Shepard made mental note of that door as any escape would likely require fleeing in that direction. He also noted that spaced around the room were a number of canisters for use in manual fire suppression. He couldn't help but smile for a moment as he recalled Tali's ploy with the fire suppression system aboard the Pilgrim's Progress. He returned his full attention to the room. _Note every detail,_ Shepard thought to himself. You could never tell exactly what might be useful when plans met reality.

"Impressive, isn't it Shepard. A hidden Garden of Eden. Shangri La in the midst of the wasteland. Follow me. I'll show you what your sacrifice will be saving."

Shepard was more than willing to be taken on a tour, though he was certain that the only thing here he was interested in saving was Tali. A tour would give him the chance to locate her. It was also an opportunity to look for escape routes, weapons, weak points in security, communications, anything he and Tali could use. "Okay, Manuel. Show me your paradise. Impress me."

Manuel broke into a broad smile. He gestured to the visual emulator that dominated the room. "You can see the world we're on. Lifeless. No resources. Nothing to draw the attention of any would be raiders or, when the Reapers return to this galaxy, refugees that might overwhelm us should my ascension not yet be complete. Should our concealment not be sufficient, we have a number of hidden missile and laser emplacements."

Shepard sighed deeply and shook his head. "Seriously, Manuel? You're squatting on a dead world with a handful of fanatics preparing to murder fleeing refugees. Is that the sort of god you're planning to be? I don't think the universe is going to be terribly impressed."

Manuel's smile shifted into an offended frown. "I've never been a god before, Shepard. When I have truly ascended I will remake this world into the paradise I envision, I will remake the universe. But will that ascension take a day? A week? A year? I have my sacrifice, my ritual, but if we still can't precisely predict how long it takes a painkiller to take effect, how could I possibly know how long it will take to burst from my mortal chrysalis into the strength of my godhood? I will not have my followers set upon while I am caught in the midst of my apotheosis. Now come. We have much more to see before we reach the next stages of our journey together."

Shepard was still shaking his head, but he was paying attention. He had no intention of letting Manuel's megalomania destroy him or Tali. He listened intently, watched and searched his surroundings as Manuel and his two escorts walked him through the base. As tours went, it was brief. Twenty minutes at most for Manuel to show him the living quarters that would struggle to house forty people. The oxygen generation and hydroponics areas that, absent resupply, might at best provide food, water, and air for those people for a few months. Shepard decided the base likely would elude detection. Not because it was necessarily well hidden, but because it was _tiny_. Shepard did have to give credit in one way. As they went to the various doors that led from the room, Shepard took the opportunity to surreptitiously study the computers they passed. It appeared the base did have a number of missile and laser defenses installed in the surrounding terrain. It also appeared to have state of the art communications. Not for the first time Shepard wished he possessed Tali's talent for hacking systems.

Manuel led Shepard to the door at the center of the semi-circle's arc. Manuel had shown Shepard what lay behind nearly every other door, boasting all the while of how this pathetic excuse for a base would turn him into the savior of humanity. Shepard held his tongue. He had learned what was behind each door except two. They stood before one of those two doors now. Shepard looked to Manuel as they stood before the door, bouncing on the balls of his feet as his patience wore thin.

"Yes. You sense it, don't you Shepard. Behind this door is the key. The place where the depths of your fall will be exceeded only by the height of my ascension." Manuel placed his hand on the switch that would cause the door to retract into the wall, providing them entry to the room. "Are you ready to behold the Sanctum Sanctorum, Shepard? The gateway to our destinies?"

"Why not, Manuel. Maybe all your budget went into this room and will make up for how underwhelming the rest of this place is."

Manuel had spent much of the tour shifting between rapturous pride and petulant defensiveness. He frowned again in irritation. "You continue to lack the proper sense of awe, Shepard. Thankfully that is not necessary to the completion of our ritual." Manuel pressed the switch and the door hissed open. Manuel entered and Shepard was encouraged by the assault rifles pointed at him to follow.

While the room Shepard now stood in was at least more interesting than the rest of the base, it was no more impressive. Several rows of pews faced a raised dais, similar to the dais Manuel used aboard the Pilgrim's Progress. However, the lectern on this dais stood before a large statue, perhaps twenty feet high. The statue was of Manuel, heroically proportioned and pointing resolutely into the distance. A female figure turned at their entry.

"Dr. Warren. I was wondering if I would see you again. I had rather hoped that you might be able to provide some sanity to counterbalance Manuel's raving."

Dr. Warren's smile didn't falter as she approached the small group. She reached Shepard and extended her hand as if to shake his in friendly greeting. Shepard briefly contemplated seizing Dr. Warren and finding out if Manuel was willing to sacrifice her life for his ritual, but the odds of success of such a ploy were miniscule. He opted instead to simply hold up his bound hands and shrug.

Dr. Warren withdrew her offered hand. "My goodness, Manuel. Was it really necessary to bind the Commander so? My apologies, Commander. Manuel becomes so capricious when stressed or excited. You have taken your medication haven't you, Manuel?"

Shepard felt a slight glimmer of hope. Perhaps Dr. Warren was the sane counterbalance to Manuel's mania. Maybe he could convince her to intervene and end Manuel's ridiculous plans for becoming a god. Sadly, this hope was short-lived.

Dr. Warren's eyes shone with her own brand of madness. "With his ascension so near, is it any wonder he is so excited? Isn't it the greatest honor that you will serve as a conduit from this corrupt, mortal life to the purity and power of divinity? You must feel the import of this great occasion, Shepard. And please, I asked you to call me Diane."

Shepard frowned and shook his head. "I feel equal parts anger, disgust, and pity. And given that you are planning on murdering me, I think I prefer to keep our relationship more formal, Dr. Warren." Shepard sighed deeply and plunged forward, hoping against hope he might reach some fragment of sanity that might yet remain in the woman. "You are a scientist, Dr. Warren. You must be able to see that you and Manuel are playing out a juvenile power fantasy. Seriously? Becoming a god? If you believe that then you are insane and willing to murder me in service to that insanity. You've blinded yourself to the harm you are causing. But you still have a chance to stop this Dr. Warren. This path doesn't lead to redemption for you or Manuel. It only leads to blood and fire."

Shepard thought he saw just a hint of doubt, a moment of hesitation, but then it was gone, if it had ever been more than wishful thinking on his part. "No, Shepard. Manuel and I are travelling an arc that leads to redemption for us, that leads to the salvation of this galaxy. You cannot take that from us, Shepard. Your record shows that you understand the need for sacrifice in the face of despair. One life, Shepard, the right life, for trillions. Your life, Shepard. The eyes of the universe are upon us and demand no less than such a sacrifice. I am not blind, Shepard. We are not blind. We see farther, clearer than anyone." Dr. Warren stepped close and placed a hand on Shepard's shoulder and spoke quietly, as if to a friend. Or a confessor. "We see clearly our path, Shepard. And if we have seen further it is because we have stood on the shoulders of giants." She patted him on the shoulder as she said the words, making clear exactly whom they would be standing on. He suppressed the urge to squander the hope of future escape by throttling her here and now. Instead, he threw the quotation back in her face.

"Sir Isaac Newton. The deadliest son of a bitch in space. He was also quite the proponent of the scientific method that you seem to have abandoned. What do you think would be his reaction to your claims of godhood and magical storytellers?"

Manuel had been holding a sullen silence as Shepard and Dr. Warren bantered back and forth. He became animated again at Shepard's words. "Ahh. Great words from the past, brought into the present, to serve the future. You do have an inkling of insight, Shepard. The barest hint of understanding. But even Sir Isaac Newton was only borrowing those words from his own giants. Repeating ideas and stories that were written in our DNA. He was one link in a chain of greatness. You are part of that chain. But not for much longer. You have seen the paradise to come and you have loosed your slings and arrows. Now it is my time to oppose and end this sea of troubles. Take a look around Shepard. The next time you see this room it will be the doorway to your destiny. Until then, it is time to return to your cell and contemplate what you have seen." Manuel waved sharply and the guards gestured toward the door with their rifles. While Shepard was eager to return to his cell and the chance to contact Tali, he knew his time was running short. He walked from the room, mind racing.

Shepard paused as they exited the room, considering his options. Manuel had stated he was returning him to his cell, but he realized that Manuel had never shown him what lay beyond the door that now stood to his immediate left. Shepard turned and approached that door, testing what response he would get. "You missed a spot on your tour, Manuel. What wonders will I find behind this door?" Shepard reached his bound hands forward to press the panel that would open the door.

Before he could trigger the mechanism a familiar surge of electrical energy ripped through him. His whole body spasmed and he crumpled to the deck at the foot of the door. Shepard had been prepared for the shock and was actually grateful that it occurred. Given that Manuel had shown him every other part of the base it had to mean that Tali was being held behind this door. She had to be there.

As Shepard climbed slowly back to his feet, Manuel hovered nearby, his hand lingering over his omni-tool. "That part of the base is off-limits, Shepard. I said it was time to return to your cell. This part of our ritual is at an end. You are nearly ready. Now, move."

Shepard decided not to test Manuel further. He had to focus on how to use the information he had gained. He knew the layout of most of the base. He knew, he hoped, where Tali was being held. He had two options for escape; stealing the Pilgrim's Progress or seizing the base communications and sending out a call for help. He was unlikely to be able to do either unless he first reached Tali. Any plan to reach her was hazy at best at this point. He glanced down at the shock bracelet and desperately wished to be able to contact her immediately, but knew his only chance of doing that was to return to his cell. He kept his head down and kept quiet until they had reached that cell.

Standing before his cell door, Shepard turned and faced Manuel and the two guards, knowing he had to take what might be his last opportunity to turn this situation in his favor, especially given how heavily the odds were stacked against him. He began picking apart the information that he had gleaned regarding the base. "So, Manuel. Do you really think this flyspeck of a base will stay hidden once the Reapers arrive. You didn't build this place with a handful of scientists and thugs. There had to have been a fair number of workers involved in its construction. They can't all have been your fanatics. Someone will come looking for sanctuary or more likely sell information about this place. I doubt people will honor a non-disclosure agreement once the Reapers come knocking."

Manuel looked genuinely sad at Shepard's words. "A good deal of excavation and construction was automated, but you are right, Shepard. There were engineers and workers involved. All transported here in secrecy. None were allowed to leave or communicate off this base until the project was completed. All signed a binding non-disclosure agreement that also provided an impressive stipend to their next of kin should they die during the completion of this project. I insisted on that last detail. Their families were compensated well when the transport carrying them away from here suffered a core meltdown several systems away from here."

Manuel's voice had trailed off to the point that Shepard had to lean forward to hear the end of his answer. "Dr. Warren said one life for trillions, Manuel. But it sounds to me like you are stacking far more on the wrong side of the scale with nothing but empty promises and fairy tales to balance the deaths you've caused." Shepard kept pulling at the threads. Rolling what he had heard around his mind and seeing it from new directions. "But the madman isn't pulling all the strings, is he? You said you had to insist on compensating the families. You had workers, robomining equipment, facilities, compensation to the families of those you murdered. You and your handful of fanatics aren't paying for all that from your university salary." Shepard glanced from the sneering guard to the smiling Heller. "Not all of these people are yours. Are they Manuel? Who is it who's pulling your strings?"

Manuel visibly turned his attention inward as Shepard had continued his tirade. He looked at the floor as Shepard asked his final question. Several seconds passed and Manuel shook his head and looked back to Shepard. "You are not wrong, Shepard. Reaching such a grand vision comes with a high cost." Manuel shook his head again. "A very high cost indeed."

Manuel stepped to Heller and placed his hand on his shoulder. Heller's smile grew broader at Manuel's attention. "Heller has been with me from the beginning. As Dr. Warren and I fled to safety on Eden Prime following your timely rescue, we found him. Wounded, traumatized, scared. We helped him to safety and I stayed with him and we spoke together. We travelled together to Arcturus Station for debriefing. After he was discharged from the Alliance military due to the effects of the trauma he experienced, he chose to stay with me and serve my vision. He helped to crystallize my realization about the stories of this universe and how we must seize control and rewrite them if we are to overcome the Reapers. But we realized we needed resources to bring my vision to fruition. Preparing the groundwork, the rituals, the setting for the creation of a god is a messy and expensive process. Creating New Eden required a great deal of support. And support comes with strings. Messy, demanding, strings." Manuel glanced at the sneering guard as he finished his statement.

"So who is this benefactor, Manuel? You might as well tell me since we're near the end of this ritual anyway." Manuel looked about to answer the question when the sneering guard cleared his throat. Manuel's jaw clapped shut audibly and it was clear he was done talking.

Shepard turned to the young former marine. "What about you Heller? That's quite a story, but it must seem strange to you to be involved in murdering an Alliance officer. Especially one that has fought so hard to protect this galaxy from the Reapers."

You must have known Ashley Williams. She joined my fight and helped me defeat a Reaper in the Battle of the Citadel. And she did it without murdering innocents."

Heller pursed his lips slightly and drew his brows together in what Shepard hoped was thought. One avenue of attack, if he could create it, would be to sow doubt among at least a few of Manuel's followers. It didn't appear Manuel had so very many of those and if even this one turned against him it would make escape much more likely. In those moments as Heller thought, Shepard watched the assault rifle that was pointed at his chest. It never wavered and after a moment Heller nodded at Shepard, frowning. "You're right Shepard. It is strange. And difficult. And necessary. I have come to understand that it's your very importance that will make this work. That will grant Doctor Manuel the power to save us. It's an ugly truth, Shepard, but one that we must pursue if we are to bring about our prophet's destiny of saving this galaxy."

A true believer all right. Shepard hadn't really expected Heller to suddenly change sides and free him. Sowing doubt was like sowing seeds. Once they were planted they needed time to grow. Unfortunately, Shepard wasn't at all sure he had that time. He looked at the other guard. He sensed none of the hero worship that Heller seemed to hold toward him. "And how about you. What do you think of all this pseudo-religious bullshit?"

The guard's lip curled into its familiar sneer. It seemed to be his default facial expression. The guard opened the cell door then stepped behind Shepard. He used his assault rifle to shove Shepard toward the open door and into the cell. "I think you need to shut up and wait quietly in your cell. If you choose otherwise I'll have to show you the consequences." He pointed the rifle at Shepard's legs to emphasize his point.

Manuel snapped out of his reverie and chuckled. "Not all of these people are mine, Shepard, but they know their duty. They know that by aiding my ascension they are aiding themselves and the whole galaxy. You won't have any luck convincing them to help you and in two more days it won't matter anyway. Then they will all see the results of my efforts. Then even my benefactor will kneel before me and beg succor." Shepard noticed Heller looking on in adoration. Sneer, Shepard realized that was a good name for the guard since he had never caught his actual name, rolled his eyes.

Shepard frowned at each of the men as he put his hands through the bars for his handcuffs to be removed. He thought it likely that whatever seeds he had tried to sow had landed on barren ground. He needed to talk to Tali. "Okay, then, Manuel. Thank you for the tour and the insanity. If I do have very little time left then I think I would like to spend less of it with you and your men. Perhaps you might allow me to see Tali before the time for this ritual arrives? It seems only right to give a condemned man a last request."

Manuel smiled. "You are quite clever at times, Shepard, but no. I think your Quarian friend will remain my guest and my means of control over you. You can contemplate her possible fate as you await your own. Two days, Shepard." Manuel held up two fingers as he stated this. He then turned those fingers downward and punched them at the haptic interface of his omni-tool. "Your shock bracelet is fully active again, Shepard. I will see you soon." Manuel turned his back to Shepard and walked from the room. The guards backed from the room, keeping their rifles pointed at Shepard until the door slid shut, leaving Shepard alone in his cell.

The first thing Shepard did once the door closed was to walk to the head and relieve himself. He had not emptied his bladder since he regained consciousness and no matter the situation, biology had its demands. He stood to the side of the bowl, facing the camera and opened his pants. He relieved himself in full view of the camera, staring at the lens the entire time, forcing the guard at the other end of that camera to watch him urinate. It was a small act of defiance. One that Shepard hoped conveyed the idea that he wasn't planning a larger act.

As soon as he was finished, Shepard strode to the cell door and gave it several good kicks. As expected, the door withstood his attacks. That was well, as success would have simply led to another incapacitating shock. He was creating his own setting, his own mindset. Playing a part. He was an angry, desperate man, lashing out in frustration, doing small offensive things to annoy his captors before sagging against the bars in defeat. He leaned against them now, and his left hand twisted on the bars.

"T-A-L-I…T-A-L-I…T-A-L-I…"

After several seconds, Shepard got a reply. "Y-E-S. U S-A-F-E?"

Shepard breathed a sigh of relief. He had been suppressing several fears about what might have happened to her since their last contact. "Y-E-S. H-A-V-E I-N-F-O." Shepard proceeded, as clearly and succinctly as he could, given the circumstances, to explain the layout of the base and the plans of Manuel. Several seconds passed once he had finished his explanation. Finally, a message came back.

"H-E I-S C-R-A-Z-Y. P-L-A-N T-O E-S-C-A-P-E?"

Shepard thought a few more seconds about the limited options available to them. "N-O-T A G-O-O-D O-N-E. M S-A-I-D W-O-U-L-D B T-W-O D-A-Y-S. I D-O N-O-T T-R-U-S-T T-H-I-S. W-H-E-N C-O-M-E F-O-R M-E W-I-L-L S-I-G-N-A-L. C-A-N U G-E-T F-R-E-E?" Shepard braced himself in case she thought he meant she should escape while they were distracted with him.

"Y-E-S. H-A-V-E O-M-N-I T-O-O-L. D-I-S-A-B-L-E-D S-H-O-C-K B-A-N-D S-O C-A-N-T S-T-O-P M-E T-H-A-T W-A-Y. U F-R-E-E O-F Y-O-U-R-S?"

Shepard could only smile wryly. It did not surprise him that Tali had rendered her shock bracelet harmless to her, but still useful in communication. And an omni-tool as well. He'd have to talk to her about how she managed that when they had the time. He swallowed his pride and responded. "N-O. S-T-I-L-L H-A-V-E B-A-N-D.

Several more seconds passed before Tali responded. "S-O-R-R-Y A-B-O-U-T S-H-O-C-K-S. N-E-E-D T-O D-I-S-A-B-L-E B-A-N-D."

"H-O-W?"

"D-R-A-I-N B-A-T-T-E-R-Y. N-O-T C-O-M-P-L-E-T-E-L-Y."

That made sense. The bracelet would have a self-contained battery. He had seen first hand that it could deliver multiple shocks without a loss of power, but it would have to expend its power eventually. The only way for him to drain it would be to trigger it continuously. But Tali was right. He couldn't completely drain the power or he'd have no way to signal her when the time came. "W-I-L-L D-O T-H-A-T N-O-W. W-H-E-N M C-O-M-E-S F-O-R M-E W-I-L-L S-I-G-N-A-L Y-O-U. Y-O-U B-R-E-A-K F-R-E-E A-N-D G-E-T T-O C-O-M-M. I W-I-L-L D-I-S-T-R-A-C-T T-H-E-M. H-A-V-E T-O M-A-K-E U-P T-H-E R-E-S-T A-S W-E G-O."

"S-O O-U-R U-S-U-A-L P-L-A-N. A-L-W-A-Y-S W-O-R-K-E-D S-O F-A-R."

Tali wasn't wrong. They had shown a definite propensity for winging it in their previous missions. The unusual means of communication was coming easier to both of them. Easy enough for her to joke with him. To make him feel better when she was no more than a tingle in his wrist. To amaze him and restore his hope. To make him want to be with her. "B S-A-F-E. S-E-E Y-O-U S-O-O-N. 8-8." He added the affectionate ending this time and meant it with all his heart and soul.

"S-O-O-N. 8-8."

With that, he knew their conversation was done. He looked forward to when they could again have a real conversation. There was so much he needed to say. Shepard gritted his teeth and twisted his wrist across the plane of the bars. Unlike the previous times he had done this he did not bring the band back within the bars. He kept it outside the bars, tingling painfully through his wrist and hand and up into his forearm. Even as the pain in his arm increased he tried to look beaten and hopeless. The last thing he needed was for the guard to suspect he was trying something. He shifted position periodically, from standing to leaning to sitting, but always returning the shock band subtly across the plane of the bars. He hoped he had time to drain it sufficiently that it would not incapacitate him if triggered. He hoped Tali was alert for his signal regardless of how much time Manuel actually allowed him before coming to complete his ritual. He realized entirely too much was riding on hope.

As it turned out, it was not much time at all. Shepard did not have a means of keeping accurate time, but he had not needed to use the head again before Manuel arrived with the same two guards. As the door slid open Shepard quickly rose to his feet, bringing his hand back within the bars. He thought the pain of the electrical shock had been decreasing. He hoped this meant he had drained the battery sufficiently and not simply that his hand had become numb to the pain. He was about to find out either way. He leaned forward and took hold of the bars as he stared at Manuel. "There's no clock in here, Manuel, but I'm sure it hasn't been two days. Is this just a social call?"

"Hardly, Shepard. Our timetable has never been precise. When the universe calls then it is time to respond. Now is that time." Manuel nodded to the sneering guard who produced the handcuffs he had worn earlier. Manuel was reaching for his omni-tool, but Shepard interrupted, not wanting him to deactivate his shock bracelet yet."

"Hold on a moment, Manuel. I've played along with your game so far and been a pretty good sport about your plans to murder me. How about you give me at least a bit of a preview of what's in store? Give me a chance to make peace with the universe before my final moments?"

Manuel quirked his mouth in annoyance. "You will see everything for yourself very soon, Shepard. Let's not make things more difficult. For her sake." Manuel's finger stabbed down, deactivating the function of his shock bracelet that allowed him to communicate with Tali. Shepard had barely been paying attention to Manuel's words. The moment he was sure that the time for this ritual had arrived he had been sending the same word to Tali. Right up until the power to the bracelet was cut. N-O-W…N-O-W…N-O-W…N-O-W…


	8. Chapter 8 - Martyrs and Demons

Chapter 8 – Martyrs and Demons

When Shepard felt the tingle of the shock bracelet cease, he stepped back from the bars and crossed his arms, staring at Manuel. He hoped Manuel had not recognized he had been purposely twisting his wrist across the plane of the bars. If he had seen something suspicious, he hoped Manuel would not realize what it meant. He hoped Tali had received his signal. He hoped she would be able to slip free of her own imprisonment. He hoped she would be able to take advantage of whatever distraction he could create to send a signal and that they could survive until some form of help arrived. He had piled hope upon hope until what could only charitably be called a plan was as fragile as a house of cards. Like a house of cards it would take only one misstep to bring the whole tottering mess crashing down on them.

Shepard shifted his focus from these troubling thoughts to the man before him. Manuel seemed agitated. Sweat beaded on his forehead despite the coolness of the recycled air. His gaze kept jumping from Shepard to anything else in the room and back to Shepard. He was shifting his weight from foot to foot, rocking slightly from one side to the other as he did so. His hands were in constant motion, fidgeting. Inwardly, Shepard breathed a sigh of relief. He had seen Manuel focused and alert. That Manuel was observant, in control, dangerous. This version of Manuel was barely in control of himself, let alone the situation. The tactical part of Shepard's mind calculated an increase in his and Tali's odds for survival. The likelihood of finding or making an opportunity had gone up.

Shepard shifted his attention to the guards. Both Heller and The Sneer had returned with Manuel and appeared as alert as they had previously. He glanced at the camera that continued to monitor him. He would have to be careful in picking his moment to act. He wasn't likely to get a second chance.

Shepard returned his stare to Manuel, deciding to ratchet up the pressure on the agitated would-be god. "You seem a bit upset, Manuel. Some problem with the astral conjunction of the planetary spheres? Your chakras not in the right house? Maybe you should go and freshen up before your date with the masters of the universe."

Manuel continued to bounce from foot to foot. "Very clever, Shepard. Never at a loss for a quip and a dig, are you? I should have realized sooner that you can't help yourself. It's your archetype. You're the reluctant hero of this tale, forced into circumstances he didn't choose and hiding his insecurities behind a witty remark. You don't deserve my story and the time has finally come for me to take it back. Put your hands through the bars. Now."

Shepard had been hoping to ramp up Manuel's agitation, but perhaps Manuel was at his maximum in that regard. Shepard began to step forward to put his hands through the bars, but paused. He glanced at the pile that had lain in the corner of the room since before he had first regained consciousness. His black suit jacket lay crumpled, the purple plastic flower just visible. The fake helmet Manuel had used to taunt and threaten Shepard lay cradled by the suit, Tali's gold clasp still clinging to the helmet's torn purple fabric. Shepard drew his arms back and recrossed them.

"I will comply, Manuel. I will be an accomplice to my own murder. But, if you won't grant my request to see Tali, then at least grant me this. Give me my jacket so that I can face what's coming with a modicum of dignity. You must have scanned it when I was taken. You know it doesn't hide any surprises." Shepard waited for the madman's reply.

Manuel thought for a few seconds, glancing toward the door repeatedly during those short moments of thought. "Very well, Shepard. I can grant you that much." Manuel reached for the jacket.

"And the clasp. It doesn't have any surprises either and it will remind me why I am making this sacrifice. I can carry that comfort to whatever fate awaits me." Shepard tried to sell it. The hero making the noble sacrifice. He had no intention of going quietly to whatever awaited him. He simply hoped to return Tali's clasp to her once they had made good their escape. He already doubted he could truly make up for what he guessed was one of the worst first dates of all time, so he would manage what gestures of contrition he could.

Manuel only hesitated a moment before unhooking the clasp from the torn, purple cloth. He turned, the jacket in one hand, the clasp in the other. He tossed the jacket through the bars to Shepard. "Put that on, Shepard. I wouldn't begrudge you your dignity. As for this clasp, I think I'll hold onto it, just like I'm holding onto her." Manuel dropped the clasp into a pocket of his pristine lab coat. "A reminder of who is in control here. Now hurry up, Shepard."

Shepard could not help but think that Manuel was reminding himself who was in control even more than he was reminding Shepard. Manuel's agitation did not diminish as Shepard drew on the jacket, settling the purple flower into place on his lapel. The high quality fabric did not retain wrinkles from its time crumpled on the floor, but Shepard made a show of smoothing the fabric anyway. Whatever sense of control Manuel had instilled in himself from retaining the clasp evaporated quickly and his bouncing agitation returned.

"You have five seconds to put your hands through those bars before I put you down and we drag you out of here, Shepard!" Manuel's voice had risen and he held his active omni-tool before him.

"So touchy for someone about achieve godhood, Manuel." Shepard put his hands through the bars without testing the five-second time limit. He had briefly considered trying to push Manuel further, perhaps innocently putting one hand on each side of a bar, but Manuel was agitated enough that he likely would trigger the shock bracelet. Shepard was concerned that if he had been successful in weakening the discharge, his acting skills might not be up to the task of convincing the guards, even if Manuel bought it. Better to keep what few surprises he could spring hidden until the right moment arrived.

After clamping the restraints tightly on Shepard's wrists, The Sneer unlocked the cell door and opened it, quickly stepping back and bringing his assault rifle to bear. Shepard stepped through and took up his place next to Manuel, flanked by his two guards. "I'll ask once more, Manuel. Let me see Tali one last time before I meet my fate. Think of the powerful emotional resonance. Two…friends, seeing each other a final time, the one sacrificing himself for the other, how could your mythical storytellers not sit up and take notice of that?" Shepard wasn't fond of the idea of begging Manuel for anything, but he'd kiss his feet if it meant he could see Tali. He needed to know where she was and that she was ready to help with any escape attempt before he could act. Unfortunately, Manuel, even in his agitated state, seemed to know this too.

"I think not, Shepard. Her safety remains dependent on your cooperation and I won't risk putting her within your grasp." Manuel dramatically patted the pocket in which he had placed Tali's clasp. "Cooperate and she lives, even if you perhaps do not. I know you won't risk her life, Shepard, so enough with your delaying tactics. Destiny awaits. It's time for both of us to go and meet it." Manuel pointed at the door and petulantly stamped his foot, demanding Shepard's immediate compliance.

Shepard proceeded to the door with Manuel, the guards following. He shook his head and eyed the madman next to him. Manuel was all over the place. He was clearly agitated, distracted, nervous. Maybe it was his perceived ascendance, maybe not, but Shepard knew the window on his own chance to act was rapidly closing. _Where are you, Tali?_

They proceeded down the short hallway toward the door to the small base's control center. The guard who should have been watching the camera was not at his post. A part of Shepard wished he had acted when the cell door was open, but the greater part of him recognized that would have been foolish. Even if he had taken down Manuel and the two guards, what then? Rush the rest of the base and hope for the best? A voice in Shepard's head cried out, _Hell yes! Kill them all!_ He recognized that voice. It had been there ever since Mindoir, even if it wasn't usually quite this loud.

Shepard ignored, but did not suppress the voice. He walked quietly now, head down, conveying resignation. Manuel was opening the door to the control center. Then it would be a short walk to the temple and whatever ritual Manuel had planned. Right next to the door that had to be blocking his way to Tali. That howling, insistent voice might yet have its moment.

Shepard paused as he entered the control center. The energy of the room was very different than it had been during his previous visit. The visual emulator at the flat front of the room sat dark. No view of what lay outside the base was visible. No staff manned the various computers and monitoring stations. Instead, what looked to be the entire population of the base stood at the far side of the room. The scientists stood in small, orderly groups, no more than thirty in all, clustered closely together. Dr. Warren stood at the forefront of this group. A broad grin spread across her face at their arrival. A few guards stood around the groups of scientists. What was likely the remainder of the guards stood to either side of an open path between the second and third rows of work stations. Shepard realized they were flanking a path that would lead him to the door that lead to the landing pad.

Revisions to calculations were whirring through Shepard's mind. He realized that there were fewer than a dozen guards total. Had he only known that aboard the Pilgirm's Progress he might have chanced trying to force his way to the ship's exit with Tali. No help for that now. He shunted the useless observation aside and focused on what he could do here and now. Each guard held a Lancer assault rifle ready, a Predator pistol at the hip. Common, easily obtained, Alliance weapons. They each wore light armor as they had previously. Perhaps if he had his own armor and weapons…but no, in a dress suit and handcuffed a direct attack would fail. He had to keep waiting for his moment.

Shepard walked between the guards toward the door that led to the base's landing platform. Manuel was bouncing giddily next to him. They weren't going to the temple. They were going to the base's one and only exit. Manuel meant to surprise him with something. Something he didn't want spoiled by the visual emulator. Shepard had made an assumption that whatever was going to happen would happen in the temple. That assumption had clearly been wrong. Shepard glanced to door to the right of the one that he knew led to the temple. The door he hoped hid Tali. He suspected there was a guard that remained behind that door to watch Tali. He had to buy time until she could slip into the situation and put their plan, such as it was, into motion.

These thoughts swirled through Shepard's mind as he passed the guards and approached the door leading to the landing pad. He glanced around the room, trying not to stare at the door he hoped Tali would come through. Manuel stopped, raising a hand to signal Shepard to stop as well. Shepard found himself staring at the closed door a few feet away.

Manuel turned to his assembled followers and raised his hands as if to bestow his blessings upon them. "My flock. Our patience, our determination, is to finally be rewarded. The moment I foretold has arrived. With his sacrifice today The Shepard shall drive the wolves from our door forever. With that respite I shall rise, reclaim the mantle of The Shepard to guide not just my flock", Manuel opened his arms to take in the assembled group, "but to guide and protect all the wayward sheep of this galaxy." The scientists matched Manuel's giddiness, bouncing and clapping with excitement. Heller was as bright eyed as Manuel, anticipation written in his expression. The rest of the guards, though, looked nervous, even scared. They were focused on the door as they gripped their rifles with whitening knuckles.

In his mind, the pieces turned and fell into place. Manuel wasn't about to sacrifice him in some pseudo-mystical ritual. He had found someone else to do the dirty work. Someone who would be grateful to him for the chance to lay claim to the great Commander Shepard. Someone who could offer power and who would have eventually been a threat to Manuel's little paradise. Manuel stepped forward as his followers sighed and clapped. He pressed the mechanism that opened the door.

Shepard could not help but notice that they were waiting on the far side of the door as if waiting for their cue to enter. All his previous calculations collapsed as he stared at the five Collectors that stood revealed. A Collector Drone stood at the forefront flanked on each side by another Drone and a more heavily armed and shielded Assassin. Worse, at least a dozen Seekers buzzed through the air around the Collectors, climbed along the wall and floor, clung to the Collectors themselves like remora to a shark. Shepard's mind automatically swept aside the wreckage of his previous calculations and frantically began anew, looking for options in this changed situation. Without his modified armor to hide him from their sensors the Seekers would spot and incapacitate him the moment he tried anything. He clenched his teeth as the odds of successful escape plummeted.

The Collector at the center of the group of five suddenly convulsed and hunched over, twitching as whatever implants buried within its body flared with energy. Shepard had seen this before, too many times. Within seconds the writhing creature stood straight, glowing with the energy required to allow Harbinger to see through its eyes, to control it across intergalactic distances. The Collector's body could not long contain that energy. The creature would crumble within minutes even if Shepard did nothing. Harbinger was sacrificing this drone in order to personally oversee the capture of the Reapers' nemesis.

No mouth parts moved on the brightly glowing drone. No speaker was visible to channel the sounds they heard. Harbinger's voice came as if from the air around them. "Shepard. Your interference is at an end. You will proceed immediately to our vessel for processing."

Despite this proclamation, Manuel was not finished with his own performance. He gestured with a broad wave of his arm and the visual emulator activated, displaying the view of the planet outside the base. The enormous bulk of the Collector vessel occupied a quarter of the screen, hovering above the barren landscape. A reticle bracketed the ship. Text beneath the reticle identified the vessel followed by numbers that would reveal to the trained eye the size, range, estimated capabilities, and combat status of the vessel.

"Behold! The chariot that shall bear The Shepard to the destiny that awaits him. His sacrifice a talisman that shall ward our home from this entity forevermore. Go, Shepard! Meet your fate and know that my incipient divinity shall allow me to shape and protect this galaxy with a loving hand. I shall take up The Shepard's mantle and burdens. They are mine once again, as is the care of all the scattered flocks, including those you value." Manuel raised an eyebrow with those last words, reminding Shepard to play his part out to the finish.

The scientists and Heller were hanging on Manuel's words. The other guards continued to stare at the Collectors, gripping their weapons nervously. Shepard continued to calculate. If he couldn't see an opportunity he would make one. Or at least buy time. Manuel seemed to think his words were a dismissal and that Shepard should simply quietly depart. He had no intention of doing so. Shepard turned to Manuel and to his lunatic followers.

"Is this the best you can do? This is your grand plan of divinity and salvation? Why would any of you believe that the Collectors, servants of the Reapers, would or could grant you the sort of power you crave? You won't achieve power. You just hope to be left alone when the apocalypse comes. Pathetic." Shepard crossed his arms and regarded Manuel and his assembled followers with disdain.

"You still do not see, Shepard. Even now. The Collectors, the Reapers, are simply pawns of those who write the story of this galaxy. As you have been. The Collectors and their masters cannot grant my ascension, but they will grant reprieve as I seize control of my destiny and you meet yours."

Shepard wanted to smash Manuel's smirking face. Manuel didn't seem to care that the Collectors were standing right there, listening to his words. Maybe he was too far gone to notice or care. Or too crazy. The glowing Collector was stepping forward, Seekers creeping forward in its wake. Shepard was getting desperate. No plea seemed likely to reach Manuel's fanatics. The other guards seemed more lucid, but did not appear likely to want to try to deny the Collectors their prize. With no sign of Tali, the voice in his head was loud, urging him to simply go for a weapon and take as many with him as possible, Collectors and fanatics alike. Then, he saw what he had been waiting for. At the corner of his vision the door he had been watching silently opened, then closed a moment later. No one had been visible at the door, but it was half obscured by the equipment and work stations between the door and where he was standing. It was such a brief thing. No one else even seemed to take notice. But Shepard knew in that moment that Tali was there. In that moment he knew one other thing. He had been wrong to look for his moment. They were going to get out of this together or not at all. It was going to be their moment. And it had finally arrived. Shepard's frantically calculating brain locked in on a wild strategy. Shepard smirked at what he was about to attempt. That smirk became a chuckle, became a full rolling, roaring laugh. Tears streamed from Shepard's eyes with the force of his laughter. The approaching Collectors paused and everyone present stared at him as if he had succumbed to the very insanity he had railed against.

Shepard let his laughing continue a few seconds more before standing straight and looking from Manuel to the glowing drone that allowed Harbinger to be present in that room. He dramatically wiped a tear from his eye and gave a last chuckle. "I'm sorry, Manuel. I couldn't keep the act up. Your deranged performance was spot on. I thought there was no way you could keep it up, but it ends up being me that breaks character. I owe you a drink when we get back to the Citadel. Something a lot stronger than water."

Manuel's eyes widened as he realized what Shepard was claiming. And how his guests might take it. He rushed to cut Shepard off. "That is very creative, Shepard, but the Collectors and I have made a bargain. One from which both they and I will benefit. There is no possible reason for me to betray that bargain." Manuel raised his active omni-tool and held his finger over the interface. "Now follow the Collectors to their ship or I'll let them drag your twitching body instead."

"You are amazing, Manuel, but you can drop the act. The Collectors probably detected the transmission we've sent calling in the cavalry, though I imagine we could take out the Collector vessel OURSELVES. RIGHT NOW." Shepard emphasized those last words, not for Manuel or Harbinger, but for other ears he trusted were listening. That he hoped had indeed hacked the bases communications and sent out a call for help. Shepard could sense his house of cards tottering. Too bad, he decided. He'd play the cards he'd been dealt.

The glow from the drone Harbinger occupied intensified. "We are familiar with your pitiful efforts at deception, Shepard. Your effort to distract us is doomed, as are you. You will proceed to our vessel. Now. Or we will claim all within this structure."

Manuel's agitation increased and he glanced rapidly from the Possessed Drone to Shepard. He was clearly eager to be rid of Shepard and the danger he presented. "Enough of your pointless efforts to sabotage this, Shepard. You brought this on yourself. And on her." Manuel stabbed his finger down into the omni-tool interface.

Shepard braced himself, unsure what level of shock he was about to receive. He tensed as an electrical jolt shot through his body, but it was nowhere near as powerful as those he had previously endured. He kept his feet, forcing laughter out as he rode out the shock that he did receive, doing what he could to appear unaffected. At that moment a series of loud explosions and high pitched whines issued from the front of the room.

 _So_ , Shepard thought. _The base has high quality auditory emulators as well_. Dutifully, the computers were creating sound to match the events displayed by the visual emulators. Events now occurring in complete silence in the vacuum of space outside the base. But humans had always preferred sound to match what they were seeing. Shepard couldn't help but notice that the lasers produced a high-pitched noise that humanity had envisioned since lasers first appeared in science fiction. Everyone, Collector and human, stood momentarily frozen as the base defenses fired on the Collector vessel. Missiles and lasers tore at the ship. Explosions blossomed against barriers and lines of fire were carved into the rock-like structure of the ship itself.

Shepard had been expecting, hoping for, exactly this. Now he needed all the confusion he could create. Chaos and crossfire. He shook off what effect he had felt from the shock bracelet and seized a pistol from the holster of the confused guard next to him. "That's our cue! Let's take these sons of bitches down! For the colonies!" Shepard knew the Predator pistol he had just seized lacked the firepower to pierce the shields of the Assassins or the possessed drone, so he fired three shots into the oversized chitinous head of the nearest drone. As its head burst apart from the impacts he was already firing at Seekers, destroying three of the dangerous creatures.

Shepard decided to give the chaos one last push to ensure the situation spun completely out of Manuel's control. And he needed to remove his unshielded body from what he hoped was about to occur. He leapt backwards, firing at the fire extinguisher hanging near the Collectors. It ruptured, spewing a cloud of white gas over Collectors and humans. Shepard rolled across a work bench and between two work stations, putting the long table between him and the chaos unfolding behind him. He fired again, destroying a second extinguisher and adding to the obscuring white cloud billowing over the groups facing off at the door exiting the base.

Shepard retreated to the final row of workstations, choosing a gap between two computers that he hoped would put him near Tali. A cacophony of sounds was rising behind him. Manuel shouting and coughing at the same time. A rising buzz as the Seekers became agitated and took flight. A warning shout. Then, the noise Shepard had hoped for. Someone in that confusing mess pulled the trigger. Shepard heard the staccato chatter of an assault rifle. One of the guards was firing. Shepard was never sure if the shots were aimed at him or the Collectors, but in the obscuring gas it hardly mattered. Suddenly, everyone was firing. Manuel's efforts to quell the chaos were overwhelmed.

Shepard leapt across the bank of tables just in case any of the shots were aimed his way and found he had estimated a bit too well. He wasn't landing near Tali. He was landing on her. He knocked her to the floor as she crouched in the cover of the worktables, ending up straddling her, his knees on either side of her waist. His manacled hands came down just above her helmet, stopping his momentum so that he did not crush her. He looked down into the glowing points of her eyes with relief.

"Fancy meeting you here, Miss vas Normandy." Shepard hoped she could hear him over the sound of gunfire, the auditory emulators, and the rising sound of screams. That thought reminded him that, fanatics or not, he had triggered a battle between humans and Collectors. The brief relief he has felt at finding Tali evaporated. That battle was raging now. He sat back, but before he could move to crouch in the cover of the worktables Tali reached up and took the sliver of metal holding the plastic flower to his lapel. She held his manacled hands and with quick, deft movements released his hands from confinement.

 _How the hell did she do that so easily?_ Shepard had thought he was past amazement at the Quarian, but she continued to surprise him. He shifted to a crouch in the cover of the table and tried to decipher what had occurred in the seconds of battle that had transpired. Tali rose up to crouch next to him.

"I got a signal out, Shepard. I don't know if anyone is close enough to respond to it. We have to hope."

"Good job with the base defenses, Tali. You've given us room to have that hope at least. SHIT!" Shepard pushed Tali to the side as one of the guards tumbled over the table. Shepard realized it was the Sneer himself, frozen mid leap. Two Seekers crawled across his neck and chest, turning to regard Shepard. He quickly shot both Seekers leaving smears of ichor across the Sneers face and armor. He ripped the assault rifle from his stiff hands, possibly breaking fingers in the process. The Sneer stared angrily at him, only his eyes capable of movement.

Shepard could not spare time for the angry guard. He glanced over the worktable to try to make sense of the situation. He did not like what he saw. A loud buzzing filled the air and Shepard realized the Collectors were using their wings to disperse what remained of his makeshift smokescreen. The scientists huddled motionless against the far wall. Shepard saw they had been locked in place by the Seekers, frozen in an entwined mass. Their cries diminished as the remaining Seekers found and froze those not yet affected. He did not see any sign of Manuel or Doctor Warren.

The brief, intense firefight had taken its toll on the combatants as well. The second Drone had fallen as had one of the Assassins. None of the guards remained standing, either frozen by Seekers or gunned down by the Collectors. He and Tali were on their own.

Harbinger's voice reverberated in the chamber. "Your distraction is at an end, Shepard. You have done nothing but delay the inevitable. We have learned the lessons of our previous encounters." Shepard realized what Harbinger was referring to as he glanced back to the emulator at the front of the room. Unlike on Horizon, the Collector vessel had remained aloft and able to defend itself. It maneuvered now, turning to face the weapons that were firing on it. Its central weapon flared to life scything across the Pilgrim's Progress as it sat helpless on the landing pad. As the ship exploded the Collector vessel angled and methodically destroyed the missile emplacements and point defenses of the base, shrugging off the diminishing return fire.

Shepard hunkered down and swore quietly. One possible method of escape had just been eliminated. He turned to Tali, speaking low to avoid giving away their exact position to the remaining Collectors that were now moving through the room. "I want you to focus on getting yourself out of here alive, Tali. I don't have any defense against the Seekers and I doubt we can fight them off once they get my scent. You have to survive and make it out of here. I'll do what I can to buy you time." Shepard hefted the assault rifle and contemplated the mad rush he was about to attempt. He would buy Tali time to hide. Time for help to arrive, hopefully. He would make that sacrifice for her.

Suddenly a weight landed on Shepard's back causing him to gasp in surprise. For a moment he thought he was under attack, but then long legs folded themselves around his waist as he crouched in cover. Tali's left arm reached over his shoulder and held him across the chest, her omni-tool active. Her helmet was near his ear and he heard her whispering in the now quiet room. "Not a chance, John. Together or not at all. Mordin's countermeasures are built into my suit. As long as I've got you inside my shields I think I can mask you. Mostly. As you humans say, I've got your back."

 _Literally,_ Shepard thought to himself. He didn't have a response to this. For reasons completely separate from the battle his heart beat hard enough that he was sure the Collectors would hear it. Even in the midst of the chaos and danger around them she could fill him with such hope. Such joy and amazement. In that moment he couldn't picture himself fighting alongside anyone else. Couldn't picture being with anyone else.

"God I love you Tali." _Oh, shit! I said that out loud._ He hadn't meant to say anything. It had spilled out, driven by pure emotion rather than his fumbling, hesitant thoughts. He hadn't even really admitted those feelings to himself, not fully, not in those words, let alone to her. He certainly hadn't meant for those feelings to burst out here and now in the midst of battle. The timing, the place, was all wrong. He had meant for any declaration of feelings to occur in the perfect moment he would build for them. Not in the middle of a madman's exploding base, hunted by Collectors. Maybe she hadn't heard him? He wasn't sure she had reacted. Maybe a tightening of her grip around him? Part of him wished she would say something before his heart burst from his chest.

"Seeker, Shepard!" she hissed in his ear, clearly wanting to raise her voice in warning, but not wanting to give away their position. Shepard pivoted at the loud buzzing approaching from his right. A Seeker flew toward them, but the creature flew directly into Shepard's chest as if blind, falling to the floor next to his foot from the impact. Shepard reached over and quietly crushed it into the floor.

They needed to attack now. The ambient noise had faded and Shepard could hear the two remaining Collectors moving among the rows of workstations. The Collector vessel appeared to have completed its destruction of the base defenses. They would be found in a matter of moments. Shepard intended to even the odds before that happened. He whispered to Tali. "We attack now. Assassin first." Shepard kept his explanation to a minimum. He trusted Tali to know what to do. He trusted her. Hell, he realized. He truly did love her. Owning that feeling felt amazing to Shepard. It also felt overdue. _Better late than never, assuming it's not too late._ Shepard stood up and leveled the assault rifle at the Collector Assassin, Tali clinging tightly to his back.

Shepard waited one thundering heartbeat, it still felt like it wanted to burst from his chest, and squeezed the trigger. In the space of that heartbeat Tali had reached to her omni-tool and triggered an electrical discharge designed to drain the energy of the Assassin's shield, hopefully removing it for his attack. Shepard's first shots met the flaring blue of an active shield, but it collapsed almost immediately. He kept the assault rifle on target as the Assassin turned and raised its weapon. Ichor sprayed from multiple hits as the storm of shots from the Lancer shredded the chitin of the Collector's body. The return shot from its beam rifle sliced across the shield Tali was maintaining and scored the wall behind Shepard. Shepard pivoted without lowering the rifle and fired on the Possessed Drone, desperately hoping to overwhelm its shield before his thermal clip overheated. Tali had pulled her own pistol and was firing at the ground around them. Shepard feared Tali's efforts to mask him weren't enough and that the Seekers were zeroing in on him. He kept firing, expecting the sharp pain of a Seeker bite at any moment.

The weapon ceased to respond to Shepard's pull of the trigger. He could feel the heat emanating from the weapon's thermal clip. The Possessed Drone turned toward Shepard and Tali and extended its hand, a ball of dark energy forming in an instant. Shield or not, Shepard knew better than to let the biotic attack strike him, especially with Tali's shield strained with the task of covering them both. "Brace yourself, Tali", he said over his shoulder. He felt her tense as he turned and dove into the cover of the workstations. He turned the dive into a roll, struggling to carry Tali's extra weight smoothly into the roll and not simply land his full weight on her. She grunted as he rolled across her and up into a crouch, the workstations to his left shredding to pieces in a shower of sparks and twisting metal as the biotic attack tore through them.

Shepard began to turn to ask Tali if she was all right when they were hit by a powerful wave of gravity. More workstations tumbled and the two of them were knocked flat. Tali lost her grip and was torn from Shepard's back as they were thrown to the floor. Shepard's spent assault rifle spun away under the back row of workstations. He let it go, knowing there was no time to find and switch out a new thermal clip. Shepard knew what had hit them, he just hadn't expected the Possessed Drone to follow up so quickly and accurately. The dark energy burst the creature had used was good at flattening enemies or knocking them from cover. It had done its job well.

Shepard looked to Tali from his prone position. She lay on her stomach a few feet away. She raised her head, shaking off the effects of the biotic attack and looked into his eyes. He pointed for her to move farther away from him along the workstations. "Draw its attention. Hit it when you hear me move." Tali simply nodded and began crawling backward away from Shepard. Suddenly, she raised her pistol and fired past Shepard, destroying a Seeker that, with Shepard and Tali separated, had finally found its target. Shepard nodded his thanks and Tali kept crawling away, purposely shifting chairs and making enough noise so the Possessed Drone would know where she was. Shepard hoped it would believe they were still together or the attack he was planning would not end well.

Shepard silently crept the opposite direction, looking to flank the creature. He kept searching for any weapons that might have fallen within his reach, but his luck had run out in that regard. He also kept an eye out for any Seekers. He didn't know if they had managed to kill them all. He could still hear Tali, moving around, getting farther from him.

Even under the circumstances, even as he kept track of the Possessed Drone, moved to a position of ambush, kept an eye out for a weapon or, gods forbid, Seekers, kept track of where Tali was, even through all that one thought kept forcing its way to the forefront of his mind. _Did she hear what I said?_ The thought ricocheted around Shepard's mind. She didn't seem to react, not really, or did she? She had to have heard. Her helmet filtered sound, suppressing interference and amplifying speech. She could have heard a mouse fart, even in that firefight. Or a mouse profess its love. Maybe she thought it was just a gesture of appreciation? _I love you Tali, just like I love Blasto movies, shopping on the Citadel, and Rupert's calamari gumbo._

"Your resistance is pointless, Shepard." Harbinger had decided to interrupt Shepard's train of thought. Shepard thought he might actually be grateful for that. "You have no place to retreat. Your weapons are destroyed. Your allies are defeated. Surrender now and end this futile struggle."

"NEVER!" The voice was Shepard's, or at least a decent facsimile. Shepard realized that Tali had cobbled together that single word with her omni-tool. He heard the Possessed Drone take steps toward his voice, away from where Shepard was actually crouching. Tali had given him his moment. He marveled at her even as he sprang into action.

Despite his distracting thoughts and worries, Shepard was a professional. He had moved himself into position on the flank of the Drone. He had also found, if not a weapon, than something that was useable as such. He waited a moment, then two, before Harbinger began his next threat. "We have you, Shepard. Surrender or…" Shepard never heard what would happen if he didn't surrender, though he had a pretty good guess. He jumped from his cover to the top of the workstation behind which he had been hiding. As he did so he took full advantage of his Cerberus augmented muscles, tearing loose a heavy section of computer components that he hoped weren't too vital to the base's functioning. He lifted these over his head as he whooped loudly, springing toward Harbinger.

Tali was ready for her cue, standing up and striking the Drone with an Energy Drain, sucking as much energy from its barrier as she could. As Shepard flew toward his target she was already firing her pistol, doing whatever damage she could to whatever barrier remained.

The Possessed Drone turned, too late, to meet Shepard's attack. As it raised its hand, a ball of dark energy forming, Shepard brought the full weight of the computer component down on the Possessed Drone's head. Shepard felt and heard the chitin fracture and the Drone collapsed to the floor, its head visibly cracked. The ball of dark energy dissipated. Light poured from the injury and the damaged chitin began to disintegrate. The whole creature was being consumed. Reduced to ash.

Harbinger's voice boomed from the dying thing. "You think this a victory, Shepard. Your perception is limited. We are coming for you now. Fight the inexorable tide if you must. You have nowhere to run." The light dimmed and vanished as the creature crumbled to dust. Shepard looked from where the Drone had been to the emulator. The Collector vessel hovered over the remnants of the wrecked Pilgrim's Progress. A wavering field of energy appeared beneath the vessel. Shepard could see a dozen small shapes dropping through the field to the landing platform. Collectors that would enter the base and finish the job of capturing or killing everyone within.

"Please tell me you have something, Tali. Any sign of help."

"I'm working on it, Shepard. We did a lot of damage to the systems in here. Short range sensors and the emulators are working. But long range sensors and communications are down. I can't tell if anyone responded to our signal. We have to hope."

Hope was getting pretty thin at the moment. Shepard began gathering thermal clips, knowing that in a very short time they would be fighting again. Could he use the shield generator from one of the fallen soldiers? He'd sure as hell try. He was just bending down to attempt this when there was movement from a group of fallen bodies near the door to the landing pad. Shepard aimed the assault rifle he had retrieved at the movement, expecting a Seeker or perhaps even one of the Collectors. What emerged from under the corpse of Heller was a very shaken and bloody Manuel. It appeared Heller had died shielding Manuel from the Collectors' gunfire. One of many who had died for this maniac today. Why the hell was this lunatic alive when so many others weren't? Shepard was tempted to change that, but instead went over and yanked Manuel from the bodies to a standing position.

"It's all fallen apart. Ruined. Game over, man. Game over." Manuel looked up into Shepard's eyes, dazed. "I couldn't take my story back from you. I never could. I was just another obstacle in your journey. Another plot point in your arc. If only I could have saved! Then I could reload. Do this again. Do it right."

Shepard was done with Manuel's crazy. He dropped the assault rifle and slapped Manuel hard across the face. He knew the action was useless. Something they did in the movies for dramatic effect. But, Shepard was really ready to hit Manuel. And, who knew? Maybe with Manuel's focus on storytelling the act would be more meaningful and actually be useful? Whatever the reason, the blow had the desired effect. Manuel ceased his rambling and focused on Shepard.

"This farce is over, Manuel. The Collectors will be here any minute to kill us all. If you have any way out of this, any tricks up your sleeve, now is the time to use them. Help us get out of this Manuel, and maybe there will still be a shot at redemption for you."

A desperate look came over Manuel's face. "Tricks, yes. Redemption, yes. This way, quick. Follow me." Manuel began stumbling toward the back of the room.

Suddenly, Tali called out from the console she had been working on. "Contact, Shepard! Short range sensors identify a ship coming out of FTL. It's the Normandy, Shepard!" Shepard turned and looked at the emulator. A new bracket had appeared framing a distant dot that had appeared in orbit. The code identified it as the Cerberus vessel Normandy.

Anxiety shot through Shepard. When they had planned to call for help he had assumed they would be dealing with Manuel and his fanatics, not the Collectors. There had been no way to adjust that plan, not that they had many other options. Visions of the fate of the first Normandy flashed through Shepard's mind. Floating in space as the Collectors shredded the vessel. This Normandy was bigger, stronger. Tali had upgraded the shielding. Garrus had insisted on improving the main weaponry. But they had not gotten around to improving the armor as Jacob had recommended. One good shot from the Collector vessel might cripple her. That vessel was turning now. Shepard got a sense of eagerness from the Collector vessel, if that were possible. He realized that calling for help might have been the worst thing they could do. As he stared at the unfolding scene he realized things couldn't get much worse.

A sharp pain lanced through Shepard's ankle. He glanced down and saw a damaged Seeker. Wings broken, crawling on three legs, the thing had bitten him just above the line of his shoe. He looked back to the display as realization flooded over him. One more assumption had literally come back to bite him. They hadn't gotten them all. He said her name, "Tali", and tried to turn to her. He couldn't turn. Couldn't speak. He was standing, staring at the Collector vessel moving to destroy his ship. Staring at the Collector troops that had landed and were now trying to enter the base. Staring was all he could do as he stood, held by the iron grip of the stasis created by the Seeker's bite. _I'm sorry, Tali._ Then, one more thought forced its way, ridiculously, to the forefront of his mind. _Dammit! I still don't know if she heard me._


	9. Chapter 9 - Sila'v Raznitse

Chapter 9 – Sila'v Raznitse

"Shepard! No, no, no, no, no!" Shepard heard Tali as she leapt to his side. Heard her bring her foot down with a sickening squelch on the Seeker that had bitten him. He heard one other thing as well. A rasp in her voice he had failed to notice when she was whispering. A sniff at the end of her exclamation. _Dammit. She's fighting an infection from saving my sorry ass while we were floating in space._ _Yet one more way my stupidity might have doomed us._ With him frozen by the Seeker bite, she would have to finish saving them herself while dealing with her illness. Shepard hoped her reaction was not too severe, for both their sakes.

Tali slid around him and into his line of sight, her head darting about, scanning for any other Seekers that might yet remain. Something they should have done, would have done, had they not allowed themselves to be distracted by the arrival of the Normandy. Yet another small error that might be the mistake that finally toppled their house of cards. That finally cost them their lives.

The Normandy. It had arrived mere moments ago, appearing on the short-range sensors from out of FTL. Shepard had been momentarily elated, until he realized that the Normandy SR2, though larger and more powerful than the original Normandy, would likely still be no match for the Collector vessel. The Collectors seemed to feel the same way as their ship had immediately begun to turn to confront the arriving Normandy.

Shepard had been reduced to a spectator to whatever occurred next. The Seeker bite had frozen him in a type of stasis. Part of his mind could not help but analyze the experience, knowing that Mordin would pepper him with questions should they somehow survive this. He could breathe. He could hear. He could see. Strangely, he could move his eyes, but nothing else. Every other voluntary muscle was frozen. He could feel. Tali's hands grasped his arms, touched his chest as if she hoped to find an off button for the Seeker's effect. No such thing existed. Shepard knew that he would hold this position until the Collectors claimed him or killed him. Or until they left. The frozen colonists on Horizon had regained movement the moment the Collector vessel had departed. Shepard's eyes flicked back to the display. The Collector vessel had nearly completed its turn toward the approaching Normandy. The Collectors weren't going anywhere. Everything they wanted, everything Harbinger wanted, was right here. Shepard's eyes shifted to the lower corner of the display. He could make out the Collector troops that had descended from the ship attempting to enter the base from the landing pad. At least Tali had thought to lock down the external doors when she had accessed the computers.

"A glimmer of light. An unexpected twist. At the lowest point, a sliver of hope arrives. With Shepard frozen by the Seekers, the Collectors might yet claim their prize and depart, satisfied. The story might yet be reclaimed by its original, true hero. Once the Shepard is taken, Manuel will remain, and the eyes of the universe will turn to him to deliver salvation."

Shepard did the only thing he was capable of. He rolled his eyes. Manuel was rambling again. No, not rambling. Narrating. Again. Shepard couldn't believe the lunatic had come through the brief, intense firefight unscathed. Unfrozen. Shepard had heard it said that the gods protected fools and drunks. Manuel was certainly the former. But Shepard also noticed again that he was suspiciously well informed. The term "Seekers" had been included in his top-secret reports to the Alliance and to Cerberus. It was also likely known to the Quarian leadership as it had been coined by one of their own at the empty colony of Freedom's Progress. Regardless, it was another clear sign of Manuel's lunacy that he thought he could survive what was coming for them. Tali, however, had a different realization.

Tali suddenly stood straighter and stared past Shepard toward where Manuel's voice had come from. She darted past him and out of his view, toward where Manuel must be standing. "Hold it right there you bosh'tet. If you think you can survive this then you must think you have a hiding place the Collectors won't find. You're going to take all three of us there right now."

"No. No. I have to be The Shepard. I can't reclaim my story unless he is taken. Let me go. LET ME GO! LET ME SAVE THE GALAXY!"

Shepard couldn't see the confrontation occurring behind him, but he clearly heard the gunshot. Heard Manuel yelp, out of fear rather than pain. "The next one will be into your arm if you don't help me right now."

 _Good one, Tali. He knows what it feels like to get shot in the arm._ Manuel was a lunatic for certain, but he didn't like pain. And he didn't want to die. He would cooperate for whatever good that would do. With nothing he could do to aid Tali, Shepard returned his attention to the display at the front of the room. It had been less than a minute since the Normandy had appeared on the sensors. The changing numbers on the display indicated the Normandy was closing on the base and the Collector vessel, barriers active, weapons ready. Shepard realized there was one other thing he could do. As a stinging bead of moisture dripped into his eye, he realized he could sweat.

With nothing else to contribute in his helpless state, Shepard's mind automatically began analyzing the possible contingencies, understanding strategies. The Normandy had entered sensor range without using stealth, dropping from FTL in a burst of light and radio waves within the range of the base's short-range sensors. Perhaps they were so determined to reach him and Tali quickly that they threw caution to the wind? No, that would be foolish. As his executive officer, Miranda would currently be in charge of the Normandy and she was certainly no fool. That meant she had two things, information and confidence. Tali must have included the information in her message that the Collector vessel was present. The stealth systems had previously proven useless against Collector scanners, so Miranda hadn't bothered. As for confidence, Miranda had never lacked for it, but this gung-ho guns blazing head on approach seemed foolhardy. Shepard reminded himself again that Miranda was no fool. That meant she believed she had good reason for her confidence. Which would mean…what? Shepard wracked his brain and as he suddenly came to a realization the equipment around him began sounding alerts.

Shepard's eyes darted back to the display filling the front of the room. Multiple new brackets blossomed across the display. Shepard scanned the combat data that began to automatically fill in alongside each bracket. SSV Coral Sea, SSV Uruk, the Marathon, the Bull Run, the Zhuolu, and the Montreal. The Normandy wasn't the cavalry, but it certainly had brought the cavalry. A "wolf pack" of frigates led by a cruiser. The Normandy had scouted the enemy and now support had arrived, dropping from FTL into optimal attack positions. Shepard recognized enough of the ship names to recall that these were ships that had been assigned to the joint fleet defending the Citadel. Ships that Councilor Anderson had the authority to detach for specific missions.

Shepard glanced to the Collector vessel and would have laughed if he had been able. The balance of firepower had shifted. Where he had thought the Collector vessel seemed eager to engage the Normandy, it now seemed to hesitate. But it didn't simply flee into FTL. The ship began to slowly turn away from these new threats, back toward the base. Shepard ceased his internal laughing as he realized the Collectors had one last thing they meant to do before fleeing.

Tali was yelling now. Shepard heard her and Manuel close behind him. "You don't follow my orders, Manuel, and the Collectors won't get the chance to kill you. We're all getting out of here."

Shepard wished again that Tali would leave and save herself. He watched as the Collector vessel continued its turn. They had no more than thirty seconds, probably less, before the ship brought its main gun to bear on the base. The arriving forces couldn't stop the Collectors from doing that. If the Collectors couldn't claim him, they would destroy him. Gods knew they had already tried enough times. They probably wouldn't even pause to retrieve the Drones they dropped before firing. Dragging him along to whatever hope of safety existed would take too long. If there was a way to escape then Shepard willed Tali to take it. To just leave.

The world tilted and Shepard was falling. He could feel the sensation even as he was powerless to do anything about it. A moment later his fall was stopped. He found himself staring at the floor a foot or two away, a cushioned support pressed into his belly. He began sliding, no, rolling across the floor. He could hear the wheels of the chair across which he was sprawled spinning against the metal of the deck.

"MOVE IT! MOVE IT, YOU BOSH'TET! GET US OUT OF HERE NOW OR WE'RE ALL DEAD!" The chair kept rolling, following the whimpers of Manuel as Shepard continued to stare at the floor scrolling past beneath him. He felt like a total ass being rescued this way and was sure he must look just as foolish as he felt, a statue being carted away on office furniture. He heard a door slide open and he nearly tumbled from the chair as Tali clipped the edge of the doorframe hurrying him through. As he rocked to the edge of the chair he caught a glimpse of the room they had entered. They were in the temple, approaching the heroic statue. Then he settled back to his original position staring at the passing floor.

"Manuel showed himself a true hero, rescuing…"

"NO TALK. WE GO NOW OR DIE NOW! GO! GO! GO!" Tali was right about the need to hurry, but Shepard couldn't help but notice she was right about something else. Despite their predicament, it was fun listening to her yell.

Shepard felt a tremor through his makeshift transportation. Heard a distant rumble like an approaching storm. Another hiss of a door sliding open. The chair tipped as he was pushed forcefully across a threshold, sending him tumbling like a toppled sculpture to the metal deck. He was lying in a small metal room. Through the closing doors he could see the temple and realized from the position of the visible pews that they had entered the base of the statue through what must have been a concealed door. As the doors slid shut Shepard felt the familiar vertigo of a rapid descent. They were in an elevator. One that had been hidden in the base of the temple statue. The rumble that had been distant grew rapidly louder as the tremors increased in violence. He could see Tali working intently on her omni-tool. Somewhere, just past the edge of his sight, Manuel whimpered.

The elevator maintained its rapid descent through roaring and shaking until the noise and violence faded. Seconds later Shepard suddenly flopped fully to the ground, his arms and legs losing their rigidity. He rolled over and groaned. Every muscle and joint ached like he had just run a marathon.

Shepard began to try to sit, but Tali was there in a heartbeat. "Wait, Shepard, wait. Take it slow. Are you okay?"

 _Not entirely,_ he realized, but he'd be damned if he would worry her more. He needed to know they were truly safe. That she was truly safe. He needed to know where they were now. He pushed his body to a sitting position and immediately found himself wrapped in Tali's arms, being hugged tightly to her. With a moment to breathe he just enjoyed the embrace and allowed himself to imagine what her attention might mean. As best he could he returned the embrace.

"I'm okay, Tali. I'm okay. Just give me a moment. Where the hell are we?"

Tali released Shepard, but kept a hand on his shoulder. Kept that contact. They turned as one to look at the man they knew could answer their questions. Manuel sat hunched against the wall of the elevator mumbling to himself. "See? The door to our destiny. See? See? The future of us all. The salvation of humanity. The universe can't help but notice. Can't help but respect my sacrifice. I'm the hero. I'm the hero."

Shepard fought his way to his feet. Tali didn't argue. She simply helped him to stand and stood, ready to support him if needed. Shepard braced a free hand against the metal wall and stared down at Manuel. "Enough, Manuel. Where the hell are we…" Shepard was grateful for the support of the wall and Tali's steadying hand on his shoulder. The elevator came to a halt unexpectedly, nearly causing him to fall back to the floor. A moment later the doors slid open.

Shepard stared out the door of the elevator, his question to Manuel forgotten. Lighting outside the elevator had activated with the opening of the doors and Shepard found himself staring into a cavernous space. A metal deck extended into an enormous room. Shepard guessed the entirety of the base above would fit in the space before him. At the far side of that space Shepard could see a pair of shuttles. Large numbers of crates and storage bins were stacked near the shuttles, near doors that led from the enormous room to who knew where. A large area near the elevator held equipment and workstations reminiscent of the Command Center in the base above. All the computers and displays were dark save one. A console near the now open door was active, the haptic interface awaiting the input of these new arrivals. Shepard walked carefully from the elevator and stared around the room. Despite the lighting and equipment, the area felt deserted.

Tali stepped from the elevator to stand beside Shepard. "Keelah, Shepard. What are we looking at?" She and Shepard turned again to Manuel, who stumbled from the elevator looking dazed and distracted. As Shepard looked around the space he couldn't help but ask himself, _how many people did it take to build this in secret? How many did Manuel sacrifice in his supposed "accident"?_

As Manuel looked around the empty facility he seemed to gather himself. He stood straighter, pulling and smoothing the wrinkles from his now less than pristine lab coat, wiping uselessly at someone else's blood that had spattered across his sleeve. "Welcome to the salvation of humanity. You were never meant to see behind this curtain. Your sacrifice was meant to secure the future of humanity. The Collectors would trade nearly anything for you, Shepard. Even allow a small enclave of humans to survive the coming apocalypse, if we seemed harmless. You were to be our stalking horse. You would tell the Collectors, and therefore the Reapers, that we were a tiny cult, no threat, and with no chance of surviving to the next cycle. They would believe it, because you would believe it."

Shepard was picking apart what Manuel was saying. Sifting through the delusion for the underlying truth. His head was buzzing with the implications of what he was hearing. "You _were_ hoping to trade me to the Collectors to protect your little slice of safety, but you had all this down here? Why? You couldn't hope to house enough people here undetected to create a viable population. If you tried the Reapers would notice you and destroy all this."

Manuel was staring into the open space. Looking around the room wistfully. "It was my plan, Shepard. I devoted myself to it. After what I saw, after what I…did, I had to save the galaxy. Nothing less would balance my crimes. Would open the door to my redemption. Perhaps the Reapers would have left us alone. A small, isolated group of fanatics hiding, then dying out, threatening nothing. But what is the word of a machine worth? The Reapers have always been thorough. Given the difficulty caused to them by a handful of survivors on Ilos, we knew they were almost certain to return to destroy us. The base above would be sacrificed while the true hope for humanity lay hidden, masked by depth, by the heavy metals in the surrounding rocks, by the destruction of the base above us. We would sleep until we awoke to the new dawn of humanity. It wouldn't be some future nameless, ignorant alien civilization that ruled the next cycle."

Shepard shook his head. "You think others haven't tried this trick? The Protheans on Ilos slept for centuries trying to outlast the Reapers. In the end the best they could do was save a handful of scientists that were able to slow the Reapers. How many did you think you would be able to save? What made you think this would end any differently?"

"Actually…" Tali stood at the active console, tapping commands into her omni-tool. While Shepard had been talking to Manuel she had been accessing the computer, slipping past security and firewalls to learn what she could. "…they were trying something different, Shepard. This console appears to have been put here to help with establishing and stocking this facility. It has limited information, but it does include an inventory of what has been and would be delivered. They do have stasis pods, but only fifty of them. But they are also storing tens of thousands of frozen blastocysts. These records also indicate they have over one thousand artificial wombs and the nutrients to allow multiple deliveries for each."

Shepard was no biologist. He was only slowly piecing together what Tali was saying. The plan Manuel and his nameless benefactors had been trying to execute. His eloquence utterly failed him as he considered what this information meant. "But, how…you couldn't… How?"

Manuel had the gall to look smug at Shepard's confusion. "You are starting to understand what you have thwarted here, aren't you, Shepard? On Ilos, the Protheans tried to maintain thousands of life pods for centuries. They couldn't do it. So how could we maintain a population for the time required for the Reapers to depart? The power needed to maintain the viability of frozen embryos is negligible in comparison to even a single life pod. Functioning exowombs have existed since the late twenty-first century, though the concept goes back much further. Asari technology allowed us to improve on the available models even more. Fifty people could birth and raise hundreds without the risk of 'natural' childbirth. With the Reapers gone those hundreds could raise thousands. Enough to create a viable population. Enough to save humanity from the Reapers. Enough to restart human civilization and rule the next cycle."

Manuel had shifted into lecturing mode. Through intellectualization detaching himself emotionally from everything that had transpired. Laying out his plans similarly to how he might have made a grant proposal. It was irritating Shepard, though not as much as the realization that what Manuel was describing was not completely far fetched. That his insane plan might actually have had a chance at success. And he and Tali had thwarted that plan for their own survival. Shepard had known, had accepted that someday he might give his life to defeat the Reapers. Would he have been willing to do that had he known Manuel's plan? If what Manuel said was correct then Shepard couldn't know the plan. He had to go to the Collectors believing the Collectors were sparing an enclave of harmless madmen. The swirl of possibilities was only irritating Shepard more. He wanted to vent that anger at the most obvious target.

"So. That is where your delusions of grandeur come from. You were going to birth a generation of worshippers and play god, literally, for as long as you could. Are you actually crazy, Manuel? Or is this all just a power trip?"

Manuel shook his head sadly and looked down at the floor. "Why does no one ever remember the third side of the coin? In the words of Philip Dick, 'It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane'. The story of the universe is being written as we speak. The eyes of the storytellers are upon us. My story, my redemption, would demand great sacrifice. Having saved humanity I would have died a martyr, along with those who followed me. That sacrifice after all else I had done would have assured my redemption. I would have gone before those who have written my story with a clear conscience. You would have been a martyr as well, Shepard. Remembered with gratitude for generations to come for your sacrifice. In a thousand years human grandparents would be telling their grandchildren stories of the Shepard."

Shepard shook his head at the scene Manuel painted. "Actually, Manuel, that sounds completely ludicrous." Shepard's eyes narrowed. Manuel had revealed a great deal. And the revelations had brought frustration and doubt. Someone was behind this. Someone with more power and resources than Manuel possessed. Someone willing to use those resources to manipulate and kill and, maybe, save the galaxy.

Shepard walked the few steps to Tali and took the pistol she had clipped to her belt. "I've reached the Normandy, Shepard, and they know we're safe. There is an exit shaft for the shuttles that is well hidden on the surface. We can head back to the Normandy when you are ready. We shouldn't stay too long in case the Collectors decide to come back."

Tali was right. They needed to leave this place. But Shepard wanted one more answer. And if he were being honest with himself, he wanted Manuel to pay for what he had done to him, to Tali, and to who knew how many others that had trusted the madman. That voice was loud again, calling for vengeance, calling for blood. Shepard walked back and stood before Manuel. Tali followed, standing near him, shifting from foot to foot in apparent concern.

The look on Shepard's face brought Manuel out of his smug reverie. He dropped to his knees as Shepard approached. Out of fear or perhaps in prayer to his supposed storytellers. Shepard loomed over the kneeling Manuel, using his physical presence to intimidate the scientist. "And who exactly is going to make you a martyr, Manuel? Who was your source of funding? Who was pulling your strings? I want a name." Shepard raised the pistol so that it was clearly visible to Manuel. He checked the thermal clip, the pistol making a most satisfying click that seemed to be universally recognized as the signal that the weapon was ready to fire.

Manuel looked from the pistol to Shepard. Shepard knew Manuel was afraid of dying, at least before he believed he had achieved his redemption. "I don't have a name for you, Shepard. The role of the betrayer is not mine to play. I am the tragic, redeemed hero, sacrificing myself for the greater good and forgiven because of that sacrifice. I have no name to give you. I could not take the chance that my own weakness would destroy my redemption. I was aided through intermediaries and anonymous transfers of funds. All I know is that my benefactor was influential within the Alliance. That her or she has used me and will ultimately betray me, but in that moment my faith and steadfastness will be rewarded. My story and my redemption will finally be complete."

Shepard reached down and grabbed Manuel by the back of the head and pulled him forward, thrusting the pistol into his face. "This is your last chance, Manuel. I don't think you are ready to face your storytellers. You haven't found your redemption yet and you're not going to unless I spare you. You better come up with better information than that or no one is going to get the chance to betray you."

Manuel's eyes were wet with tears. Shepard could see the battle being waged within him. Sanity and reason. Guilt and the hope of redemption. They swirled behind his eyes and fueled his mania. Manuel stared down the barrel of Shepard's pistol with a combination of defiance and resignation. Manuel's mouth opened and closed once, twice. His brow furrowed and he gave Shepard a name. "Judas."

The corner of Shepard's mouth quirked upward in a wry smile. Every martyr needed a betrayer. For Manuel that betrayal was integral to his story. He was being melodramatic and Shepard knew it was foolish to spend more time here and now on questioning. It was time to go. Just one more task to perform.

Shepard raised the pistol and checked the thermal clip again. As he did so he gave Tali a slight nod, tapping the side of the pistol with his trigger finger as he did so. Tali tilted her head ever so slightly in reply. Shepard smiled and turned back to Manuel, pointing the pistol between his eyes. "You've committed numerous crimes, Manuel. Kidnapping me and Tali, attempting to trade me to the Collectors, sacrificing so many people, including those who trusted you most like Heller and Dr. Warren. I can't even guess how many other people you've had a hand in killing. You and whatever bastard has used you."

"A drop in the bucket compared to all the blood on my hands. If only more blood will wash them clean then those few lives to save a galaxy are a fair trade. I'm the hero, Shepard. Don't you see? I'm the hero."

 _Lunatic._ "Under my authority as a Spectre I hearby sentence you to death, Manuel. Sentence to be carried out immediately."

"What!? You can't mean that! Shepard, please, you can't end my story that way! You can't!"

"Do you have any last words, Manuel? Any advice? Maybe a name you suddenly remembered?"

Manuel's eyes crossed comically as he stared down the barrel of the pistol, inches from his face. After a few seconds he looked back to Shepard, fear fighting with his determined resignation. He sighed deeply. "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go…"

Shepard smiled, recognizing the quote from his childhood. "Say goodnight, Manuel." Shepard pulled the trigger and there was a loud report. Manuel shrieked and jerked, clutching at his face for several seconds before fully realizing he had not been shot. He sagged, sobbing, wetness spreading across the crotch of his pants. _Good lord, he pissed himself,_ Shepard thought. _Right on cue. Just like in the stories._

Shepard crouched down in front of Manuel and cocked his head at the tearful scientist. "I didn't shoot you, Manuel. It was just the thermal clip overloading." Shepard glanced back at Tali and nodded. Tali lowered her omni-tool. A simple trick, but convincing.

Manuel sobbed for several more seconds before he was able to look up and meet Shepard's eyes. "Why? Why would you do that to me?"

"Two reasons, Manuel. I know you are afraid of dying without achieving your redemption. I wanted you to feel the reality of death. To believe in it. To know that death would come for you if I decide you aren't being helpful. I'm going to hand you over to Alliance investigators. Maybe you really don't have a name to give, but you have these intermediaries. You have these fund transfers. The investigators will follow every lead. You're going to help them every way you can, Manuel. Or I'll be seeing you again soon."

Shepard stood back up. Taking Manuel by the collar he hauled him to his feet and began walking him toward the shuttles waiting at the far side of the room. Manuel looked up carefully, clearly not wanting to trigger a dangerous, perhaps deadly, response from Shepard. "You said there were two reasons?"

Shepard looked from Manuel to Tali. The voice in his head was quiet. It would never be gone he suspected, but its demand for blood had stopped, for now. He smiled at Tali, keeping his gaze on her as he answered. "I finally realized that there are things more valuable, more important, than revenge."

* * *

The Illusive Man sat in a manner that, to the casual observer, would have appeared calm and relaxed. He was not a man to let his inward emotions show unless it was to his advantage to do so. He projected that calm control now as he stared at the communications hologram of Commander Shepard. Shepard stood, arms crossed, the picture of defiant resolve. The Illusive Man had seen that attitude from Shepard nearly every time they had communicated.

Shepard's image shifted impatiently from foot to foot as The Illusive Man took a long pull at his cigarette. He exhaled the billowing cloud of smoke, masking his own annoyance with his languid movements. "I appreciate your report, Shepard, but I would prefer that Cerberus have the opportunity to question this Doctor Manuel directly. After all, it was Cerberus personnel that were abducted and Cerberus operations that have been disrupted."

The Illusive Man watched Shepard set his jaw. "I've told you before. I don't work for Cerberus. I'm working with you to stop the Collector attacks on human colonies. I think Tali might have something colorful to say about the idea that she is Cerberus personnel. These fanatics were after me for their own purposes. My connection with Cerberus was incidental. Besides, those weren't Cerberus ships that came to our rescue. Since this group seemed to have some sort of Alliance connection, I think the Alliance is better positioned to investigate who was ultimately behind Manuel and his facility."

"I'm not interested in arguing minutiae with you, Shepard. The ships that aided you were only able to be dispatched thanks to your transmission directed to me. I give you credit for thinking to send a message on the encrypted frequency used to transmit information from the listening devices aboard the Normandy. It bypassed the noise being generated and allowed EDI, a Cerberus creation, to analyze the information in your message and track likely trajectories. Without Cerberus influence and support do you really believe any Alliance vessels would have been in position to respond to your distress call? Whether you want to admit it or not, Shepard, Cerberus has been your primary source of support, from resurrecting you, to providing you with a vessel and crew, to saving your ass on occasion."

Shepard didn't want to admit it. Wouldn't, if he could help it. "You support me because, ultimately, it serves your purposes. If I weren't useful to you I imagine all your amazing support would dry up."

"My purpose is what it has always been. The protection and betterment of humanity. That is the primary goal of Cerberus. And yes, you are useful in advancing that goal. A goal you wouldn't oppose, I believe."

"I'll be the one who decides what I do or don't oppose. I contacted you to make sure you were aware that I had successfully returned to the Normandy and to inform you of the plans that Manuel and his group were trying to implement. We are currently approaching the Citadel. I will be resuming the hunt for the Collectors after a stop at the Citadel to install additional armor upgrades to the Normandy. I won't risk another run-in with the Collectors without being fully prepared."

"Of course, Shepard. You are in charge of this mission. Whether you hand this Doctor Manuel over to the Alliance is your decision, though I think it is worth considering that based on what you've told me you might be handing him over to the very people that are behind him. This Heller you described was former Alliance military and I suspect there were others among Manuel's guards with former or current Alliance connections. Regardless, I believe the time is coming soon that you will have to confront the Collectors. Make sure you and your crew are ready."

"I trust Councilor Anderson to insure Manuel is placed in appropriate custody and interrogated. He'll make sure that base is investigated thoroughly as well. I imagine that C-Sec will have some questions for him as well given the problems he caused around the Citadel. As for the crew, they're ready." The image of Shepard shifted slightly. The defiance faded to be replaced by doubt. He looked down and away for several seconds before returning his gaze to The Illusive Man. "Do you think it could have worked? Manuel's plan. Do you think they might have been able to restart humanity in the next cycle?"

The Illusive Man took another long pull at his cigarette as he contemplated what Shepard had told him of the fanatic and his plans. He decided to answer the question honestly. "I don't know for certain, Shepard. No plan is perfect, but I can respect the lengths this group and their backers went to. The contingencies they considered. Using you to feed false information to the Reapers about their base and intentions. Being ready to sacrifice that base to protect their actual base hidden deep underground. The use of artificial wombs to avoid the problems of maintaining a population in life pods. Hiding and maintaining ships for obtaining supplies or ferrying their growing population to a habitable world after the Reapers departed. I can't say if the plan would have succeeded, but I'd say it had a better chance than many I've heard. It makes me wonder who is behind Dr. Manuel and his group. It is no surprise that there are any number of other groups and individuals, likely across species, that are trying to make plans to survive the Reapers. This group appears more capable and better funded than most, though, and that makes it imperative that Cerberus identify them in the event they become an outright enemy. You did what you had to against them. Sacrificing yourself would have meant accepting the sacrifice of trillions in the hope a few humans might survive to the next cycle. If you could do that you wouldn't be Commander Shepard."

Shepard had listened in silence through The Illusive Man's response. His spine straightened and the air of resolve returned. "I thought as much." Shepard looked like he might say more, like he wanted to say more, but then his eyes hardened and it was clear that however much more he wanted to say, he wouldn't do it here. He wouldn't reveal that part of his feelings. Not to The Illusive Man. "I have nothing further to report at this time. I've already forwarded my thanks to the captains of the ships that aided the Normandy and to Alliance representatives. Now, if you'll excuse me, we're approaching the Citadel and there's someone I need to talk with. Shepard out."

The image of Commander Shepard turned its back on the Illusive Man and stepped away, disappearing, severing the connection. The Illusive Man took another long pull at his cigarette and exhaled the cloud of smoke, thinking as he watched the particles swirling through the air before him. Shepard continued to see the trees, but not the forest. Doctor Manuel had been used by someone within the Alliance. While his plan for preserving humanity was imperfect, it showed some genuine promise, solving problems of power and longevity that even the Protheans had not been able to manage. Placing Doctor Manuel in Cerberus hands would allow him not just to be questioned, but controlled. His mind harnessed and directed so that his ideas might aid humanity rather than nearly eliminate one of its best defenders. Handing him to the Alliance rather than Cerberus was foolish and inconvenient, but Cerberus maintained numerous contacts within the Alliance. Something Shepard still failed to fully grasp. Cerberus would make inquiries, but, despite what he had said to Shepard, he already had his suspicions about who might be involved. Someone with a personal axe to grind with the Commander, though Shepard had failed to recognize that as well. Though Shepard would be most convincing, others could have filled his role as stalking horse. The Illusive Man found ideas springing to mind for ways to use this information.

Shepard had been right about one thing. The time of confrontation with the Collectors was fast approaching and they would need to be fully prepared. Shepard was doing what he could to prepare the Normandy and its crew, but it was up to him to prepare Cerberus.

Shepard had also been right about something else, though it rankled him to admit it, even to himself. Without the help of the Alliance, Cerberus could not have mounted the type of rescue mission that would have been required to save Shepard. Not in the time that had been available. That needed to change. Ships were needed. And personnel, scientists, soldiers. Enough to fight a war if need be. He would need to step up efforts to create such a force, by any means necessary, and he wasn't above stealing the good ideas of others to make it happen. It was time for Cerberus to emerge from the shadows. It was time for Cerberus to become an army. Cerberus had been able to recruit a limited number of agents from within the Alliance, but this group's idea of recruiting from among those discharged due to mental health reasons was inspired. The Category Six discharges in particular would provide an…enthusiastic…group that, with proper control, would make excellent shock troops. With her work on the dossiers for Commander Shepard done, he would assign Rasa to sorting through likely candidates. Her displeasure at having to recruit non-humans to a Cerberus mission had been obvious. This was an assignment she could sink her teeth into.

The Illusive Man smiled to himself and took another pull from his cigarette. He could see the possibilities that lay ahead. A stronger Cerberus meant a stronger humanity. He had more pieces to investigate, to manipulate, but with his help the pieces would fall into place.

* * *

Kelly Chambers sat comfortably on the sectional sofa in Commander Shepard's quarters. The same spot she had sat when she had counseled him before his date with Tali. _Her spot._ She smiled inwardly at that. She was beginning to think of this as her spot. She leaned back comfortably, lacing her fingers across her stomach. Shepard was just finishing his tale of what had transpired on his date and the adventure that followed.

"That is a remarkable story, Shepard. I'm amazed you and Tali made it out of there alive. There were so many times, so many ways either of you could have been killed."

Shepard was standing and walking about as he told his tale. Not the aimless desperation he had shown at their last meeting. Something more…anticipatory? He seemed excited, but not agitated. _Flitting,_ she decided. He was smiling as he finished his narrative. "I can't say I cared at all for being under the control of a madman. I thought you might have some idea how to diagnose him, what kind of insanity his books and storytellers might represent, or whether he was really crazy at all."

Chambers looked into the distance as she considered what Shepard had described. "Finally, from so little sleeping and so much reading, his brain dried up and he went completely out of his mind."

Shepard immediately recognized that she was quoting from something, though he had no idea what. He laughed aloud as he held his hands up as if to defend himself. "Don't you start now, Chambers. I think I've had quite enough of storytellers and meaningful quotes."

"You might enjoy the source of that quote, Shepard. I think you might find you identify quite a bit with the main character." _Chambers, not Kelly._ "You know, Shepard, it saddens me that you had to learn first hand how dangerous your relationship is for Tali. Even a simple date resulted in toxin exposure, gunfire, kidnapping, and a Collector attack. I can see how much you care about her. I worry what might happen if one of you is hurt or, gods forbid, killed." She leaned in closer to him as if sharing a secret. Or a confession. Her voice lowered as she spoke just for Shepard and her voice quavered with emotion. Her eyes were damp with unshed tears. "I have to admit I worry just as much about what you might not be able to do because of fear that harm might befall her. I've seen how driven you are, Shepard. I know you won't let your personal feelings come before helping humanity, hell, the whole galaxy, but it scares me that your relationship could do just that. I'm so sorry you have to struggle with this. I just want you to know that whatever you decide, I'll be there to support you."

Shepard's brows came together and he frowned in confusion. "What are you talking about, Chambers. I don't have anything more to decide. I wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for Tali. If I had been with anyone else, I'd be dead, or wishing I were. We were there for each other, Chambers. Through every crazy turn, she was there. Despite all I did wrong, she didn't give up on me, on us. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, or the next day, but I know I want to face it with her. I owe you for that, Chambers. That's why I asked you to come to my quarters. To thank you. I came to you wracked with doubt and you prodded me forward. Helped me find my way through my feelings about Liara. Told me that passion, and maybe more, was a good thing to find. Taught me it didn't have to be perfect. Well, it's not perfect, but it is amazing. I really have found something I've never known and I'm going to fight for it even if others complain or disapprove, even if the whole universe says 'no'. And it's past time I told that to her. I just wanted you to know how much you've helped me to find that happiness. You're a true professional Yeoman. Thank you." Shepard extended his hand to shake hers in gratitude.

Chambers eyed the hand he had extended as if it held a dead rat. Not that she showed this on the outside. Her smile of support never faltered as she felt desperation creep into her thoughts. She had come into Shepard's quarters filled with confidence, sure his and Tali's ordeal would have twisted him to the breaking point, but now she could feel her efforts going awry. A feeling of vertigo like starting to fall off a cliff and no amount of frantic windmilling of arms will save you. But, she had to rescue her efforts. She had to make him see. She took Shepard's hand and found herself rising, being pulled to her feet. He wasn't even shaking her hand. He was helping her rise to leave so he could leave in turn. So he could go to her. She had to salvage this. "Please, Shepard. Think about what you're doing. I can't bear the thought of the pain I see coming toward you. Love will burn you, Shepard. Burn you both. Wouldn't you want to spare her that pain?"

Shepard's brow furrowed and he stared hard at his Yeoman. "I appreciate your concern, Chambers, but I wish you could understand the happiness I feel with her. When I was with other women in the past, even Liara, I was thinking about myself, about getting what I wanted for a moment. With her I think about both of us, about everything we can do and be together. I'm not even thinking of possible pain. I'm thinking of sharing my joy. With her. All that anger, all that craving for revenge is quiet in the face of that. Tali does that for me and I will do everything I can for her. Maybe I can't protect her from the danger we'll face, but she wouldn't want me to, and so far we've done a pretty good job of surviving it together." Shepard began walking Chambers across the room toward the elevator. "You keep saying love will burn us. I don't know what's happened that makes you feel that way, but I know that I would not have been able to reach this point without your guidance. I hope you can wish me luck, Chambers. Like I said to The Illusive Man, there's someone I need to talk to." _Time to tell her properly and not just blurt it out in the middle of a battle._ Chambers stumbled along beside Shepard, swept along by his energy and feeling helpless to divert him. As they reached the elevator that would take her away, Shepard paused and turned to her. "There was one other thing I realized, Chambers. During our ordeal with Manuel." Chambers perked up at this, attentive, still looking for some opening to change Shepard's course. "That anger I grew up with is quiet, but it isn't gone. Manuel tried to manipulate me through my feelings for Tali. I realized that the next person that tried to do that would experience for themselves the rage I felt on Mindoir. Oh, yes. That and more."

Chambers realized Shepard was staring through her. In that moment he was focused on what he would do to the next person that tried to strike at him through Tali. She fought to keep her smile locked into place as she felt the temperature in the room somehow plummet. She kept that smile in place as Shepard returned to himself. "This, the way I feel about Tali, is a good thing, Chambers. I wish you could see that. I hope you can feel as good about me falling in love as I do."

Chambers mechanically shook Shepard's hand. Had that been a warning to her? Had he realized what she had been doing? She knew she had gotten ham-handed when she felt her control slipping. She shouldn't have tried to force it the way she had. No, she decided. He hadn't realized what she was trying to do. If he had she believed he might very well have made good on his threat then and there. Chambers inhaled a quick breath as she realized Shepard might not have to follow through on his threat. The Illusive Man would not be pleased with this turn of events and there were only so many times she could convince him of her ability to reassert control.

She stepped into the elevator and turned back to face Shepard. She didn't think she could hold the smile in place much longer. "Of course I'm happy for you, Shepard. And I hope my worries are exaggerated. Regardless, I will remain available whenever you might need my support. I'm here for you and Tali both."

"I know, Yeoman, and it's appreciated. Oh, and just a reminder, we discussed keeping our relationship professional, so it's Commander."

With that blow, Chambers could feel her façade start to crumble. "Of course, Commander, I'll remember in the future. If you'll excuse me, I have another appointment to get to." Shepard simply nodded as the elevator doors slid shut, severing their connection in a way that mirrored their relationship. She hunched forward and put her face into her hands, wiping at her eyes. The tears there now were genuine. She was trying to help Shepard. She was trying to help humanity. She reminded herself of that. Worked to convince herself of that. She was right about love. It would burn him, it would bring him pain, it would break him. She had seen it, felt it all before. Watched it happen to her parents. Lived through it herself. She knew she was right. Wasn't she? It had always been easier to convince herself before. But now. _Why does he have to be so damn happy?_ She would have to think this through, but time was not on her side. The Illusive Man would not be pleased with the course things had taken, with her apparent loss of control. She could see only two options now. Shepard stated he accepted the fact that a relationship with Tali carried risk, but could he really deal with the reality of such an outcome? Could he really handle it if Tali were killed due to him? No half measures or manipulation. Just an ugly death and broken body to break the spirit of the man. Her excuses of protecting Shepard, of serving the mission and Cerberus, of helping humanity felt less and less convincing. So, if not death, then what? Supporting Shepard and Tali? Accepting their relationship and the idea that it could actually bring more strength than pain? Give up her own plans of control and invite the retribution of The Illusive Man? Not without some kind of protection, if such a thing were possible. She would have to think on this. She wiped the incipient tears from her eyes and stood straight. It would not due to let the crew see her distress. By the time the elevator door opened she was Yeoman Chambers, perky and positive, once again.

* * *

Shepard sat on the blanket spread across the soft grass and stared out into the purple expanse of the nebula. It had taken time to set the modifications to the Normandy in motion, but it had given him time to prepare this second date with Tali. The observation deck was empty now except for Shepard and the woman next to him. It had arguably been an abuse of his authority as a Spectre to order the area cleared of staff and tourists. After everything he had been through, including saving this very Citadel from Sovereign, Shepard couldn't muster any guilt over his decision. He was determined to do this right. Not perfect, but right. So far he had avoided any discussion of their recent first date. He had to set the right mood before he tried to approach that.

He looked to his right and found Tali looking out into that expanse as well, though at least at the moment no ships were visible. He was more than grateful that she had quickly recovered from the worst effects of the illness she incurred saving him. She was removing a food tube from the port in her mask that had allowed her to consume its contents and sighed in apparent pleasure. Shepard could tell she was smiling and he smiled as well. He had done what he should have done in the first place and researched what and how Quarians eat. The tubes he had brought along on their picnic contained a variety of purified Turian food, the best he could find on the Citadel, processed into a form that Tali could ingest through her suit's induction port. He had spared no expense or effort to obtain a variety of foods, different kinds and intensities of spiciness, and, as much as possible, textures. Being stuck eating from tubes often meant very little variety. There was very little that was appetizing about the phrase 'nutrient paste'. Shepard shook his head inwardly at how little he had thought about this on their first attempt at a date. It wasn't like she could just open her helmet to drink from a glass or gnaw on a chicken leg, even if it were dextro. Part of making this right was making every part of it as special as possible. If he could afford thousands of credits for ship models and fish he would certainly do what he could to make up for his disastrous attempt at a first date. He would make things right with the woman he loved.

Shepard rolled the word around in his mind. Love. It was the right word. The right feeling. He had spent so long wallowing in anger and hate that he hadn't been sure he would recognize it. Wasn't sure it actually existed. He had glimpsed it, or something like it, with Liara. But it was with Tali that he had found the real thing. He was sure of it. Chambers had been right about him. Tali had been there for him, from the very beginning and through every triumph and screw up right up to the most recent. And he wanted to be there for her, for as long as she would let him.

He stared out at the nebula again, working up his courage. He had admitted his feelings to himself, but it was time he did the same with Tali. He didn't think his blurting it in the middle of battle counted. And he still wasn't even sure she had heard him. He couldn't stop a wry smile as he admitted to himself that at least part of his efforts to make this second date special were to blunt their memories of that first date. To put her in a good mood for him to share his feelings. He took deep breaths, readying himself for his biggest jump. He smiled again and thought that surely the concentration of butterflies swarming in his stomach would buoy him up if he fell.

 _One last breath, then go. Okay…one more. Okay…last one._ Shepard realized it wasn't the jump that was daunting him. It was whether she would still be there to catch him. She had always been there before. Did he trust her to be there now? _Okay…last one._ "Tali. Tali I wanted to talk with you…I mean, I wanted to say…"

"Sila'v Raznitse, Shepard."

Shepard had been fumbling. All his rehearsed thoughts tangling as he tried to ask for her forgiveness and her love in the same breath. Her interruption had thoroughly derailed those thoughts leaving him at his most eloquent. "Whuh?"

Tali turned from gazing at the nebula and fully toward Shepard. "Sila'v Raznitse."

Shepard's brow furrowed in confusion. "I don't think my translator handled that phrase, Tali. Is that a Khelish term?"

"Not exactly. It's not originally Khelish, but it's become a term used among my people. I'd like to tell you the story of that term, if you don't mind."

Shepard nodded and leaned forward, attentive. The pattern was familiar. Comfortable. Tali telling him a story, a tale of her people and culture. Him learning about her, about the Quarian people, and loving every moment of it. He loved to listen to her talk, but he also welcomed the opportunity to put the fragments of his thoughts into a more coherent order.

"That phrase, Sila'v Raznitse, was first used by engineers in our fleet not long before I was born, though the concept they were describing has existed for as long as we've had ships. After the first contact war, when humanity was accepted into the galactic community, humanity also gained access to technological improvements from across multiple species. Almost overnight, massive numbers of human space ships, from shuttles to massive cargo and warships, became obsolete. Some ships were able to be upgraded, but huge numbers of human ships and ship parts flooded the markets. That glut was a boon for the Migrant Fleet. All manner of parts, even whole ships, were suddenly available at a cost we could afford. We bought or traded for what we could, distributing the parts across the Migrant Fleet. A gunship, the Ibriani, received power distribution systems to replace those that had been burned out during a raid by slavers. The parts were stamped with what was assumed to be the name of the human ship they came from. Sila V Raznitse. The engineers weren't familiar with human technology, but Quarians have always made the best of what was available. Nonetheless, the engineers weren't familiar with the human technology and weren't optimistic the combination of parts would tolerate any strain.

Shepard was enjoying the tale. He wasn't seeing yet the relevance to what he had been trying to say, but he trusted Tali to make that clear. In the meantime he was enjoying the reprieve from his own anxiety as well as simply enjoying the story.

"A few days later, the slavers attacked again in a major raid. Ships attacked the fleet, but it was a diversion. Small groups of raiders had been laying in wait and when defenses were shifted to stop the main body of ships, those hidden ships attacked where the defenses were weakest. Several raiders attempted to separate and capture a group of civilian transports. The only ship available to stop them was the Ibriani. They had been held back from the main battle because of their repairs, but they interposed themselves between the raiders and the civilians. The raiders tried to overwhelm them, pouring fire into the Ibriani, trying to overload their barriers. The Ibriani wouldn't budge. She kept up a stream of return fire, forcing back any ship that tried to approach the civilians. Through it all, the cobbled together systems held. With the barriers taking fire and the ship firing back the systems handled over two hundred percent of their estimated maximum load and didn't even hiccup. They held the raiders off until reinforcements arrived. None of the civilian ships were lost. The engineers reported what had happened to the captain and when the arriving reinforcements asked for a status report, he excitedly shouted 'Sila'v Raznitse' over and over before he calmed enough to explain the details. The story and the phrase made its way rapidly through the fleet. Given our history, Quarians tend to grab hold of good news and share it as fast as possible."

"Sila'v Raznitse, Shepard. Two very different things that, in a normal world would have never come into contact, but when brought together rise to every challenge and refuse to be broken. Like so many Quarian idioms, it started in reference to engineering, but my people quickly recognized it could apply to much more. We are Sila'v Raznitse, Shepard. When I am with you, I am better in every way, but still myself. I didn't care that our first attempt at a date was such a…challenge. I cared that through it all you stood beside me, fought alongside me, and never gave up on us. You give of yourself as freely as any Quarian. Up to and including everything you've done to make this pic-nic special. It's why I want to be with you, Shepard. It's why I love you."

Shepard was speechless. He was processing everything she was saying as rapidly as he could. She was laying herself bare. Making herself vulnerable so that he could feel less so. Giving of herself as she always did. He knew for certain in that moment that she had heard him amidst the chaos during the battle, but was giving him space to decide what he felt outside the heat of the moment. Again, taking that vulnerability on herself to protect him. To be there for him no matter what. For a fleeting moment, he began to doubt he deserved such a woman, deserved such a relationship. A fraction of a second later he squashed the thought. That was up to Tali. She had been honest with her feelings and trusted him to do the same. He was determined not to let her down again.

Shepard took Tali's hands, stopping the fidgeting that had started as she lay her soul bare. He looked into the glowing points of her eyes and smiled. He was finally going to do it right. He looked about as he took a breath. His butterflies were a pleasant presence now, nervous rather than terrified. Even the universe was giving him a positive sign as a ship sailed past the observation deck, fulfilling his promise that it would be the two of them, a passing ship, and the vast expanse of the nebula. Shepard turned back to Tali, smiling.

Shepard shot to his feet, scattering the remnants of their pleasant picnic. Tali's hands slipped from his as he quickly reached to activate his omni-tool. She nearly tumbled backward, catching herself and staring up at the now standing Shepard. "Shepard, what…?"

Shepard was punching commands into his omni-tool as he glanced to Tali to answer. "That ship that just passed by. It was the Normandy."

End Part 2

To Be Concluded in Part 3

As Jason Fox once said, I'm going for that trilogy look. At least if the dang universe would cut me a break so I can do this more consistently.


End file.
